Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on November 20, 2008, 11:04:37 PM
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Despite the fact that I've always worked for the tabloid press, I'd like to think that I've never strayed TOO far over what is acceptable to the average reader. I agree that, as far as the Daily Star is concerned, this would be pretty difficult. Anyway, there's a gag for my Horace strip that's been bouncing around my head for years which I can't bring myself to use. The Medicine Man character is making a potion and saying something like "Eye of toad, liver of newt and knob of butter". Having accepted that I'll never use this professionally, I'm giving myself closure by mentioning it here. Forgive me.
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You just wanted to say "knob" on the forum, didn't you?
You could just write "pat of butter", that would work.
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knob of butter
I suspect he was referring to a ram's penis, Malc. (Sorry, ladies).
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Seriously though, Roger, you should go with it. It's dead funny, and exactly your style. A down-to-earth normal every-day ingredient as a contrast to the first two items. The fact it has a subtle innuendo is just a bonus, and is solely in the eye of the reader. I think it's inspired. Publish it
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What Peepsie said. I laughed out loud. ;D
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Hi Roger - I have a book of North American Folk Healing - it is more to do with herbs than ingrediants you would expect to see in a witch's coldron.
But other than that I like the gag.
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I have a book of North American Folk Healing
I instinctively knew that.
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Oh, stick some pipsissewa on it! ..0
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You just wanted to say "knob" on the forum, didn't you?
You could just write "pat of butter", that would work.
Roger, ignore this school-boy humour. A 'pat of butter' would not be big enough in a recipe that included an eye of newt and liver of toad; you wouldn't get the desired flavour.
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It's so frustrating, but I was raised far too well by my dear mother to type any of the responses that first sprang to my mind after reading Vulture's last remark. I'll leave it to Peepsie.
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It's so frustrating, but I was raised far too well by my dear mother to type any of the responses that first sprang to my mind after reading Vulture's last remark. I'll leave it to Peepsie.
OK, sunshine - out with it. I couldn't see any inuendo in wot I writted - tell me!
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No - you will not get me to say that only a decent sized knob will satisfy your needs. No way! :\
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No - you will not get me to say that only a decent sized knob will satisfy your needs. No way! :\
I thought you were old enough to know that it's not the size, it's what you do with it!
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I said "decent", not indecent.
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it's not the size, it's what you do with it
I tried that one in my audition for the Cosmo centrefold (I was much younger then). I was shuffled out of there very quickly, I can tell you.
I was shuffling because they wouldn't even let me get my pants back up.
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it's not the size, it's what you do with it
I tried that one in my audition for the Cosmo centrefold (I was much younger then). I was shuffled out of there very quickly, I can tell you.
I was shuffling because they wouldn't even let me get my pants back up.
Come on, Malc. I'm always up for a laugh. What were you doing with it?
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He was crying out in agony because the magnifying-glass he'd brought along had accidentally caught, and multiplied, the full power of the lights.
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Magnifying glasses only do that in sunlight. To get any heat out of indoor lights, he would have to focus the energy into a very small prick of light.
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Magnifying glasses only do that in sunlight. To get any heat out of indoor lights, he would have to focus the energy into a very small prick of light.
It was focussed into a very small prick. That should have been seen as read. I do try and credit the readers with some sense and understanding. ..0
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It was focussed into a very small prick.
But the joke was not in your version, merely the idea of something on fire.
That should have been seen as read.
You're just annoyed because my version was better.
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Er... what was the magnifying-glass for then? I hadn't introduced it as a fashion item! ..0
Dear Mr Mince - somewhere a cloud of plankton is missing a soul-mate. Run along...
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Yes, everyone understood what he burnt, but you did not use the phrase "prick of light". I merely capitalised on your poor effort.
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I make great efforts not to offend the ladies, Mince. Would you like some lessons?
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I make great efforts not to offend the ladies, Mince.
It's a pity you don't put equal effort into your jokes. I hope I don't always have to finish them off for you.
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You seem to want to scrutinise every teeny, tiny, minute detail of my posts. ..0
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And I wonder who started that little game.
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What I was doing with it was....trying to make a hamburger.
If you know anything about Puppetry Of The Penis, you'll understand. Suffice to say mine didn't make quite a quarter pounder, more a chicken McNugget.