Condolences

[Zesty White]

I've just heard about Colin Tarrant's untimely death. I know that you and him were friends, Roger. Thinking of his friends and family.

[Roger Kettle]

I'm still trying to take it in, Zesty. I've known about Colin's death for about an hour now and it's all just desperately sad. We spoke last month and all seemed well---he was planning a trip up to visit me with his partner and new son. I'm a bit numb.
Thanks for your thoughts.

[Diane CBPFC]

Sorry to hear about your friend's passing Roger.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Oh, no, that's shocking news. I'm so sorry to hear this.

[The Peepmaster]

That's awful news. I'm sorry to have heard this Roger.

[Bilthehut]

Sorry to hear the sad news about your friend, Roger. 

[Rob Baker]

This is very sad news. I also give my deepest condolences.

[Malc]

Anyone  who passes away under 70 yrs of age dies young, to me. I've read the reports, and I'm sure that the death of someone who is so well known will be talked about for too long in the media anyway, but my thoughts are always with their nearest and dearest.

[Max]

Terribly sad news, really sorry for his family and friends.

[Roger Kettle]

As I'm sure most of you know, Colin committed suicide. There is no point in trying to pretend otherwise. Having spoken to his partner, I now know the "reason" for his horrific decision which, of course, I won't go into here. They were wonderfully close. I can only say that there was absolutely no scandal or potential tabloid revelations involved. It's ridiculous to try and analyse situations like this rationally because, clearly, we're dealing with horribly irrational moments.
Colin and I had been friends for twenty years. Apart from all his impressive stage, film and TV performances, he was also the voice of Beau Peep in the animation project that never came to be. We had so many good times together, including a couple with Nige, The Peepmaster. Life can be a bugger.

[Malc]

Not wanting to water down this thread with an irritating case of "me too" but yesterday here in Brisbane a fellow coach of mine took his own life. I had worked with him frequently, at our club and others and at schools. Last year the mother of a player in my team took her own life.
The emotion that most close friends and family feel on these occasions is anger. How COULD their loved one have left them like that?
I never try to persuade them out of that emotion, it's as healthy as any other when getting through the awful aftermath of a loved one's suicide. Mental illness is mostly invisible, some of the most talented, funny, bubbly and ostensibly cheerful people also suffer from mental illness, and many of those attempt suicide more than once.
The subject of depression and mental illness kickstarts feelings of anger in me too, especially when I hear people like Scientologists saying that medication and psychology/psychiatry are evil and that Scientology can counsel the problems away. Often medication is the ONLY chance for someone with severe depression, and even then, the most alert, conscientious and caring partner cannot always prevent the inevitable. It's a terrible life, not only for the sufferer but for anyone who loves them.

[Roger Kettle]

Couldn't agree more, Malc.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I recently heard ex-soccer star, Stan Collymore, talking in the wake of Gary Speed's death (which the coroner has now decided may possibly have been accidental), very openly and thoughtfully about his own depression, which he has suffered throughout his life. He addressed the issue of suicide, and the times he had considered it. Especially those who describe it, very understandably, as a selfish act, giving no thought to those who are "left behind".

His words were a revelation to me (I had previously taken the 'selfish act' view), and made so much sense. He said that to him it was a solution. Not just for him, but all those dear to him, whose lives he felt he had blighted through his illness, and that far from being a selfish act, suicide (at that moment, and with that moment's thought processes) was the answer to everyone's problems, least of all his own. Of course, that's not the way anyone else would see it, but it was a clear, obvious, dispassionate and selfless decision for him to make at that moment. And thankfully one he never took.

[Bilthehut]

In the end, no one can say what the person is going through.  All are unique and the myriad of problems, issues and relationships, all add up to individual and personal situations.  Some take that ultimate step, and others step back.  No one can judge them, based on their own experiences or understanding.

[Diane CBPFC]

Found this poem online:

No one knew the torment,
 that you were going through;
 We only kept on seeing
What we really wanted to.
 
We saw the outward smile,
but not your inner pain;
 We never really dreamt,
That you would never smile again.
 
Forgive us if we failed to see,
What we could do to aid;
 Or if we failed to comprehend,
How much you were afraid.
 
We pray your mental anguish,
Will now forever cease;
 And that your deep anxieties,
 Will be replaced by peace.
 
We know your pain invaded,
 Every single thought you had;
 It made you cry internally,
 And deeply, deeply sad.
 
But we in turn remember,
 The good times, not the bad;
 We remember when you smiled at us,
 And not when you were sad.
 
So when we think about your life,
 We won't dwell upon its close;
 We'll remember all the good times,
 And forget about life's blows.
 
We'll remember all the happiness,
 The joy and not the tears;
 The assurance and the confidence,
 And not irrational fears.

Our lives have all been better,
 Because you have been there;
 So now we leave your memory,
 In God's all-loving care.
 
(c) 2008 Dick Underwood

remembrance-book.com