Author Topic: Fragrances  (Read 2457 times)

Offline Mince

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Fragrances
« on: January 23, 2016, 05:02:49 PM »
I found this very small sample bottle of David Beckham's fragrance in my house (but don't ask how it got there, as I am clueless), and it's named after a preposition: Beyond. I think we should market a fragrance for Beau or Dennis. What do you think it ought to be called?

We'll also need some kind of selling angle similar to this drivel: David Beckham introduces his contemporary new fragrance for men: Beyond. Inspired by David’s life motto - ‘no matter how small you start, always dream big’, this modern masculine scent is an expression of his energy, determination and strength of mind. Encased in distinctively stylish, taupe packaging, Beyond opens with a mojito accord and features notes of cedarwood and leather to create a refined, daring scent for the modern man.

Offline Shufflebottom

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2016, 07:50:10 PM »
How about "DESERT WAFT".  There must be a market for that heady fragrance drifting from the fort as Dennis fills in the latrine on a Monday!
I wonder what would happen if I pressed this button . . . OH, BUGGER!

Offline Redundant

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2016, 08:45:45 PM »

We'll also need some kind of selling angle similar to this drivel: David Beckham introduces his contemporary new fragrance for men: Beyond. Inspired by David’s life motto - ‘no matter how small you start, always dream big’, this modern masculine scent is an expression of his energy, determination and strength of mind. Encased in distinctively stylish, taupe packaging, Beyond opens with a mojito accord and features notes of cedarwood and leather to create a refined, daring scent for the modern man.

That may well be the first time the written word has actually made me feel like vomiting.  Seriously, if I was ever looking for a reason why humanity deserved to be wiped off the face of the earth, it would be to kill off all marketing, copywriting...   There's never a threatening comet when you need one.
Dear life, would you at least consider the idea of using a lubricant?

Offline Mince

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2016, 10:06:10 PM »
How about "DESERT WAFT".

Nice one. We ought to have a competition just so we can get Roger to judge it. My entry is ARMPIT GLORY.

Oh, and welcome to the board, Shufflebottom.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2016, 09:20:26 AM »
Eau de Beau.

Offline Mince

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2016, 09:51:14 AM »
DEBONAIR by MAD PIERRE.

I'm sure Pierre would market it violently.

And he'd probably later rename it UNFAIR or DESPAIR.

Offline Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2016, 11:42:10 PM »
MENACE by DENNIS.

The scent o'mental. The the odour of ardour. MENACE by DENNIS guarantees you women from Venice.

I'd buy it!

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Fragrances
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2016, 02:52:35 AM »
Oh! Scratch and Sniff cartoon strips. I can imagine the camel dung now.
People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad