Author Topic: Cartoon Strip  (Read 127 times)

Offline Mince

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Cartoon Strip
« on: February 16, 2020, 10:31:16 AM »
Here you go:


Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2020, 11:52:03 AM »
Ouch. But funny.

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2020, 11:57:17 AM »
 <-

Nearly as good as 'Abscess makes the fart go "HONDA!" '  (I spared you the full joke).
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Mince

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2020, 12:26:48 PM »
Or how about this one?

Offline Mince

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2020, 12:31:18 PM »
A woman asks her husband, a software engineer, to pick up some groceries.

She says, "Please go to the store and pick up a pint of milk. If they have eggs, get six."

The husband happily complies and returns home with six pints of milk.

The wife is irate and asks why he would get six pints of milk.

"They had eggs," the husband replied.

Offline Mince

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2020, 12:31:53 PM »
Apparently this one was rejected:


Offline Bilthehut

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #6 on: February 29, 2020, 04:53:12 PM »
ABOUT NOTHING
by Isaac Asimov

All of Earth waited for the small black hole to bring it to its end.  It had been discovered by Professor Jerome Hieronymus at the Lunar telescope in 2125 and it was clearly going to make an approach close enough for total tidal destruction.  All of Earth made it's wills and wept on each other's shoulders, saying, "Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye."  Husbands said good-bye to their wives, brothers said good-bye to their sisters, parents said good-bye to their children, owners said good-bye to their pets, and lovers whispered good-bye to each other.  But as the black hole approached, Hieronymus noted there was no gravitational effect.  He studied it more closely and announced, with a chuckle, that it was not a black hole after all.  "It's nothing," he said.  "Just an ordinary asteroid someone had painted black."  He was killed by an infuriated mob, but not for that.  He was killed only after he publicly announced that he would write a great and moving play about the whole episode.  He said, "I shall call it 'Much Adieu about Nothing'.  All Humanity applauded his death.

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #7 on: February 29, 2020, 05:02:48 PM »
Mary Poppins was travelling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night.  She approached the receptionist and asked for a room.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night.  Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it.  "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.

"Certainly, madam," he replied.

"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.

The receptionist nodded and smiled.

"In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please," Mary mused.  After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out.  The same guy was still on the desk.  "Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think have had better.  Shame about the eggs, though....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book.  We are always looking to improve our service and we would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"OK, I will . . . thanks!" replied Mary . . . . who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book.  Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.


It read, "Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2020, 06:31:53 AM »
One of my favourite jokes is when a duck goes into a bar looking for bread - then there is a bit about something unkind with nails - then back to the bread.
People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Mince

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2020, 09:10:37 AM »
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman: "No."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, we have no bread."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, we haven't got any f*&%ing bread."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f*&%ing bread. Ask me again and I'll nail your f*&%ing beak to the bar, you irritating bastard of a bird!"

Duck: "Got any nails?"

Barman: "No"

Duck: "Got any bread?

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Cartoon Strip
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2020, 12:44:52 PM »
One of my favourite jokes is when a duck goes into a bar looking for bread - then there is a bit about something unkind with nails - then back to the bread.

 :) :D ;D  It's the way you tell 'em!

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman: "No."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, we have no bread."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, we haven't got any f*&%ing bread."

Duck: "Got any bread?"

Barman: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f*&%ing bread. Ask me again and I'll nail your f*&%ing beak to the bar, you irritating bastard of a bird!"

Duck: "Got any nails?"

Barman: "No"

Duck: "Got any bread?


 :\
I apologise, in advance.