Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on November 22, 2008, 11:38:28 AM
Title: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 22, 2008, 11:38:28 AM
It's late November and you're talking with your wife when a song comes on the radio. "Gosh", you remark "The Wurzels. I haven't heard them for ages." On Christmas morning, you open your first present and it's a double C.D. of "The Wurzels Sing Sinatra Live At Yeovil". It's late November and you're watching T.V. with your wife. It's a documentary about canoeing down the Grand Canyon. " I had a go in a canoe once when I was ten", you say. On Christmas morning, you open an envelope and it's a voucher for canoeing lessons in February in Perthshire. It's late November and....well, you get the point. Do not say ANYTHING that can be misconstrued as some kind of hint. Once, in late October, I stood at the back door and observed that the "garden looked nice". For Christmas, I got Alan Titchmarsh's autobiography, a spade and a "World's Greatest Gardener" bobble hat. I've found myself saying "Swedish Au Pair" out loud a lot recently.
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 22, 2008, 12:01:01 PM
You're obviously the archetypical Man Who's Got Everything, Roger, if your loved ones have to resort to such desperate measures to buy you a cherished gift.
I can't recall any such similar slip of the tongue leading up to the last Christmas before my second marriage broke up (possibly pertinent), but on the excuse that she wasn't well and hadn't been able to get to the shops as often as usual ( ..0 ), my then-wife presented me with 'The Ultimate Line-dancing CD' for Christmas, and...well...that was it, really. I think it was meant to be a joke, but my manufactured 'delighted laughter' upon receipt was carefully pitched at a level that could have had at least two or three interpretations. I don't mind Country & Western music, but I have two left feet when it comes to dancing in any form, and three when it's line dancing (I tried once when on holiday for about 90 seconds, at entry level, and after knocking out a handful of highly adept toddlers, I sat down in disgrace).
As if this wasn't bad enough, later that same day, my then-mother-in-law presented me with exactly the same album, but in cassette format. The only cassette player we hadn't yet replaced with CD equipment at the time was the one in my car. What the f............?????
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 22, 2008, 12:11:27 PM
You're obviously the archetypical Man Who's Got Everything, Roger, if your loved ones have to resort to such desperate measures to buy you a cherished gift.
I can't recall any such similar slip of the tongue leading up to the last Christmas before my second marriage broke up (possibly pertinent), but on the excuse that she wasn't well and hadn't been able to get to the shops as often as usual ( ..0 ), my then-wife presented me with 'The Ultimate Line-dancing CD' for Christmas, and...well...that was it, really. I think it was meant to be a joke, but my manufactured 'delighted laughter' upon receipt was carefully pitched at a level that could have had at least two or three interpretations. I don't mind Country & Western music, but I have two left feet when it comes to dancing in any form, and three when it's line dancing (I tried once when on holiday for about 90 seconds, at entry level, and after knocking out a handful of highly adept toddlers, I sat down in disgrace).
As if this wasn't bad enough, later that same day, my then-mother-in-law presented me with exactly the same album, but in cassette format. The only cassette player we hadn't yet replaced with CD equipment at the time was the one in my car. What the f............?????
Maybe it was the only Country album they could find in the late-night petrol station that had this on it:
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 22, 2008, 02:26:25 PM
Yep - they really put the "try" into Country........or something like that. <-
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: peter on November 23, 2008, 05:22:15 PM
M.S.M. Is about again.
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 23, 2008, 06:02:51 PM
I'm sure the Line-Dancing album would be preferable to the bra you're getting this year though, Tarks.
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 23, 2008, 07:19:15 PM
She wouldn't do that, Peepsie. It's twice as much as she's ever spent on me.
Title: Re: A Seasonal Warning.
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 23, 2008, 07:38:23 PM