Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on August 28, 2009, 04:52:40 PM
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We're approaching the end of the season (my U14s played their last league fixture tonight) and the aim of teams in our competition is to either win the league, or if that's not possible, make the top four teams, because doing that puts you in the post-league knockout phase to the Grand Final.
We didn't even get close to winning the league, but we found out tonight that our game win puts us into fourth, mostly thanks to two other teams doing us favours.
Just squeaked in, true, but it doesn't tell the whole story. The three other teams in the top 4 are wll established outfits, whereas mine is a cobbled-together team of misfits, chancers, ne-er do wells and kids with psychotic parents.
It's been an extremely interesting season, a roller coaster ride of emotion. I had to chuck one kid out of the side because he had been calling our team (his team) "sh*t" on a Bebo site frequented by half of our opponents. Another night, one lad's grandfather nearly had a to-to-toe stand up fight with me over comments I had allegedly made in training. When the lad had missed an open goal, I had apparently shouted "that's why you're right back!"
I shout a lot worse than that, so I was happy to admit that's what I could have said, and then it was on - the grandfather tried to have a verbal stoushie which ended up with him in tears!
I worried the whole night about him having a heart attack when he got home.
I'm not really bothered if we progress any further than this, I've already proved all I need to, as a coach, but I know there are some lads in my side who desrve to go to the final (we're in the semi this weekend) and I want it for them.
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Sounds like a Disney movie - hope they do well at the semi-finals.
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Good luck in the semis, Malc---I'll expect a full match report.
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Yes, and I'd like a little more detail next time. How does supervising the team of this year compare to having to handle a squad on women, Malcolm? Do you miss any of that?
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How does supervising the team of this year compare to having to handle a squad on women, Malcolm?
Of women, Peeepsie - of women. Not on women. I know it's hard for you.
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I must admit I'm rather worried about Malc punching some old guy in the face or transferring some 12 year-old fullback to Tasmania for taking a foul throw-in.
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Hope they went well today, Malc. Next time, just shout in very broad scots, then they won't know what you said. ;)
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Me and the old guy are now the best of buddies!
He's well known for putting his grandson on a pedestal- not that the lad isn't a great athlete, he's just not a brilliant footballer, and this is the thing I find hard to get over to Aussies. It's sometimes a kid's speed and power that sustains him in the under 11s through to the U15s, but unless they develop skill and football smarts, speed and athleticism will only give them half the package they need, and they will remain a great athlete, not a great footballer.
I ran a special skills clinic at the club about six weeks ago for certain players, and the feedback I got from their parents was that the kids thought it was "repetitive".
It certainly was. It was specifically designed with repetition in mind, especially for those players who leave training on a Tuesday and Thursday and who otherwise never touch a ball until game time. Also, it was aimed at those who can run like the wind, but who can't dribble from foot to foot or take a pass without it rebounding off them like a brick wall. I had them running in and out of cones for an hour and a half.
The hardest job in coaching is trying to make up for years of bad coaching or none at all. Kids by the age of fourteen should have all the basics well in hand -first touch, dribbling on the run, dummies, feints, stepovers, Cruyff turns, etc...
In Oz especially, this stuff is most often neglected, in favour of choosing big and strong kids.
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Peeps, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the womens team last year, and I'd happily coach women again, but only at an elite level (which sounds snooty, but the higher up you coach, the more organized the leagues are, you get refs appointed at more games, the atmosphere is better, etc).
For instance at the game last night, we travelled to North Star (who are bottom of the table) and played in front of about 200 people, parents, coaches and even other teams who had travelled to see if North Star might be able to get an upset win over us and put their team into the top four instead. Before our warm-up, I was shaking hands with old friends, rivals, and taking stock of familiar faces in the crowd, that sort of thing. The game was an advert for me, for the boys themselves, and for our club.
Contrast that with coaching a womens team. No parents (the girls all drove themselves to games) and, sad to say, no husbands or partners! Very few of the games were watched by any more than ten or fifteen people, and most had no-one in attendance - not even refs. I had to referee two of my own matches last year, and had no-one to run the lines -offsides were judged by eye, and you can imagine the upsets those sometimes caused.
Our home games were no better than our away games as far as atmosphere was concerned - womens games were usually scheduled in the graveyard slots, when the senior mens teams were playing away and all the juniors had gone home for the day. No canteen open, an empty car park and dust blowing over the fields. All that was missing was the tumbleweed.
I loved the experience, it was truly mind blowing. Some of the older women in my side were in their late forties, and they shared a dressing room with four or five girls with supermodel looks. It was surreal watching them gel. It's my experience that women are not mixers, other than in a playgroup or creche where their kids are the catalyst. One or two close friends is it. Men are much more clubbable.
If I was proud of anything at all in 2008, it was that I got a womens team through with more players at the end of the season than we started with - almost unheard of in womens football, where factionalism and internal politics often divides a side well before the end of the year. Our training was well attended, I don't believe I ever had any less than nine on a night, and I was actually asked back to coach this year, but had to decline.
In that sense it doesn't matter where we finished (fifth).
Coaching women is great if you have the gift of the gab and a sense of humour. They listen, they want to learn, and they put something into practice almost immediately on being shown it.
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Some of the older women in my side were in their late forties, and they shared a dressing room with four or five girls with supermodel looks. It was surreal watching them gel.
Nice that they let you watch them styling their hair, Malc.
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That's not all they let me watch. ;)
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I left that as a stand-alone gag.
When I first started coaching the ladies, I was very nervous about going into the dressing room before they were ready - just in case they were in their undies. By the end of the season they were dropping everything in front of me- not a hint of embarrassment, it's like I was an honorary girl.
Yes, there is a designated time for the coach to be outside whilst the team changes, and there's the obligatory knock on the door and the "everybody decent?!" shout before re-entering, but there were some serious flirts (and before you all jump in with 'oh how you fancy yourself Malc' - they were like daughters to me) with bendovers in g-string and flashes of boob whilst tops were removed. I saw more moons that year than a Navajo Nonagenarian.
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So, Malc, you don't conduct surprise inspections or anything like that?
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No, but I did spread a story among the more credulous males who knew I coached a womens team that it was the coach's job to strap down the team's boobs to stop them jiggling.
No word of a lie, a couple of people believed me. One woman in particular was shocked, and was going to put in a complaint until someone explained it was my attempt at humour.
She was then even more offended that I would joke about it. She still believed that someone strapped down womens boobs before a game, she was just relieved that some man wasn't getting a thrill out of it. I didn't tell her that our cente half, who doubled as masseuse/physio and who oiled up a couple fo the girls before matches, was a lesbian.
Like Queen Victoria, the woman probably doesn't believe lesbians exist.
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OMG, I'm feeling a lot of pain right now - I've used strapping tape on John's leg - the thought of it on boobs is giving me a physical reaction - not a nice one!
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You don't use that kind of strapping on boobs, with the girls, I used clingwrap. Nice and tight to sotp the bgiger grls form flpoping arou- I'll be back in a minute...
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You don't use that kind of strapping on boobs,
I should bl**dy well hope not! You've been reading that "Cool brain stuff" email, haven't you, Malc?
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I haven't, is it about strapping boobs?
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LOL! No, one section's about how if you mix letters around in words, your brain can still read the words as they should be, but I get what you were alluding to now - my brain was still cringing at the thought of proper strapping tape on boobs. <-
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I'm sure it's used in some boudoirs, some people are very odd with their fetishes.
I remember reading an interview with a call girl who said her favourite client's fetish was to lie naked in a corner whilst she rolled hard boiled eggs at him.
With the eggshell removed, obviously. He wasn't THAT odd.
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My Under 14s team made their Premier League Grand Final today, beating Loganholme, the top of the table team 3-1 in the semi final. Should have been 6-0 to us.
There is a lot to be said for being applauded by a full gallery of parents and grandparents as part of a standing ovation, not to mention other teams who've come to see you for the day. Very validating.
If only you lot knew the personalities involved, you would realise what a satisfying victory this was. The opposition coach came walking down to my team dugout with two minutes to go to shake my hand, which many took to be a sporting gesture, but in effect it prevented me from performing the Walk Of Victory to his dugout, which the winning coach traditionally does. Silly mind games.
Not that I'm bothered. This is the first time my U14s (Capalaba) has beaten Loganholme in all the years they've played them, and this is also my first season coaching them, so it's all good.
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Congrats, Malc---when's the final?
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I'm feeling quite emotional after that. Excellent stuff, Malky - congrats to all concerned. Best of luck in the final. Hope you crushed their manager's knuckles.
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Tell us more about the other team's goal, Malc. I bet it was a beauty, wasn't it?
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Final is next Sunday 10.45am at Lions stadium, Pine Road Richlands, so there's plenty of time to get here for it.
No, their goal was an ugly, spiteful, hateful thing spawned out of envy, malice and the fact our left midfielder decided not to track back in defence.
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;D :D
Well done, Malc and boys! Be cheering you on next Sunday morning - from 929kms away, I'm afraid. ;)