Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on December 15, 2010, 10:11:45 PM

Title: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 15, 2010, 10:11:45 PM
I was walking through a shopping centre/mall in Dundee today when a young, extremely attractive, olive-skinned lady jumped out and asked me if I was married. "Not at all", I said. "Never have been and she's not called Mary". It turned out she was trying to sell me some nail-polishing stuff and insisted on demonstrating its qualities on the index finger of my left hand. So there I stood, getting my fingernail buffed in the middle of a shopping mall, surrounded by a crowd of curious onlookers. I have to admit my cuticle was shining like a diamond but that's not the point. "How much is this stuff?" I asked. " A thousand pounds" she breathed in my ear "but that includes me." (This is absolutely true). I absolutely exploded with laughter at this point!
Anyway, every single member of my family is getting a nail-polishing kit for Christmas this year.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on December 16, 2010, 12:24:28 AM
 ;D

I got grabbed in the mall - THE West Edmonton Mall - and was given a very nice ringlet curl on one side of my head. I think that was about $150 for the curling iron so passed on the offer. I did feel special all day though.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Fyodor on December 16, 2010, 10:53:09 AM
I once had my teapot spout polished free of charge by a chap from Bolivia.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Diamond Lil on December 16, 2010, 10:54:37 AM
Anyway, every single member of my family is getting a nail-polishing kit for Christmas this year.

Hope you got one for yourself because coincidentally I've got you that top-of-the-range nail varnish you like
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on December 16, 2010, 01:10:54 PM
I was walking through a shopping centre/mall in Dundee today when a young, extremely attractive, olive-skinned lady jumped out and asked me if I was married. "Not at all", I said. "Never have been and she's not called Mary". It turned out she was trying to sell me some nail-polishing stuff and insisted on demonstrating its qualities on the index finger of my left hand. So there I stood, getting my fingernail buffed in the middle of a shopping mall, surrounded by a crowd of curious onlookers. I have to admit my cuticle was shining like a diamond but that's not the point. "How much is this stuff?" I asked. " A thousand pounds" she breathed in my ear "but that includes me." (This is absolutely true). I absolutely exploded with laughter at this point!
Anyway, every single member of my family is getting a nail-polishing kit for Christmas this year.

And just how do you intend explaining that thousand pound hole in your joint bank account to Mary, hmm?
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 16, 2010, 06:38:45 PM
Joint account? You're a cartoonist, Tarks---don't you have a Platinum Emperor Cartoonist Account?
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 16, 2010, 08:16:07 PM
I find it quite intrusive when a total stranger comes up and harangues me in the street - whether it's a survey, or they're trying to flog goods etc. It can happen anywhere. It usually occurs near the supermarket, but last week one young lady tried to grab me by the cobblers. I don't find it pleasant at all.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Max on December 16, 2010, 08:53:13 PM
Getting grabbed by the cobblers is the "last" straw I think.  :D
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Bilthehut on December 16, 2010, 10:55:14 PM
No, the other extremity is the 'last' straw.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on December 17, 2010, 12:07:32 AM
Joint account? You're a cartoonist, Tarks---don't you have a Platinum Emperor Cartoonist Account?

Natch! But I use it for business transactions only. Then again, I may have misread the situation here...
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Vulture on December 17, 2010, 12:11:39 PM
I once had my teapot spout polished free of charge by a chap from Bolivia.


What is 'my teapot spout' a euphamism for?  <<after all, this is a lads forum!>>
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Fyodor on December 17, 2010, 06:12:51 PM
As with so many lads' things, it's difficult to explain o' feathered one, but I'd be only too happy to show you at your convenience.
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Bilthehut on December 17, 2010, 06:31:44 PM
She has her own convenience?
Title: Re: One of my nails got buffed today.
Post by: Vulture on December 17, 2010, 09:11:57 PM
She has her own convenience?

I do! I do! But it's a Ladies only!