Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on March 06, 2011, 09:09:27 AM

Title: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 06, 2011, 09:09:27 AM

I'm starting to get back on my submission horse now, I sent a batch off to Prospect and made a sale, so it's all good for the UK account.

This is a lovely little boutique one-stop shop for criticism without the usual minority of idiots one has to out up with on other forums, so I'd like to put these up for your comments -send or not send?
(http://malcmcgookin.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/pg-snowglobe1.gif)
(http://malcmcgookin.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/pg-beg.gif)

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 06, 2011, 09:37:29 AM

I sometimes have a number of alternative punchlines for the same image, so here are two, do you think one is more effective than the other? Both rubbish?
(http://malcmcgookin.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/pg-target-demographic.gif)
(http://malcmcgookin.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/pg-bloody-facebook.gif)

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Roger Kettle on March 06, 2011, 09:47:18 AM

Love them all, Malc, and I really can't choose between the two tramp punchlines. Why not do a series of cartoons with them?
The "snow-shaker" gag is a cracker.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: The Peepmaster on March 06, 2011, 09:49:09 AM

Pin number one was laugh-out loud for me. The second one funny too, but not to the same extent.

Mind you, that's just MY opinion and not a canoodling hatstand that whistles "Take me to the Parking Lot on Alternate Wednesdays, Mr Snodgrass".

(Sorry to hear you get just a minority of idiots on other forums.)

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Mince on March 06, 2011, 10:35:26 AM

I liked the snowshaker joke a lot. Was not too keen on the others.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Vulture on March 06, 2011, 01:07:46 PM

All brilliant, but if I had to list a preference.......

Snowshaker
Pin number
Face book
Beg

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 06, 2011, 01:13:05 PM

Send, send, pin number.

Snow globe, brilliant!  ;D

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Bilthehut on March 06, 2011, 05:27:47 PM

Love the artwork, Malc.  Snowglobe was the bestest.  Perhaps suggest you emphase 'really' in the loans one.  Liked the PIN but not sure about Facebook as there is no link to him having a computer, mobile etc, yet he would have had a credit card and PIN before he forgot.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 06, 2011, 05:38:40 PM

Thanks for those, folks.
I'm thinking of making the Loans guy smaller at his desk, accentuating his diminutive stature and suggesting that he is on a power trip.

On the other hand, making him bigger would also work,  -that way life has given him physical size and social dominance. I think the problem is the fact he's medium-sized. Yes, that's it.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Diane CBPFC on March 06, 2011, 06:08:51 PM

I love them all. I think your artwork is brilliant - all the little details, such as the secretary having a plaid skirt, are awsome.

Out of the two drunks - I prefer the PIN number punch line but the FB was funny too.

The loan joke works for me with the loan officer the size he is, as he already looks small in his chair.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Mince on March 06, 2011, 06:23:29 PM

Quote from: Malc on March 06, 2011, 05:38:40 PM

Thanks for those, folks.
I'm thinking of making the Loans guy smaller at his desk, accentuating his diminutive stature and suggesting that he is on a power trip.

On the other hand, making him bigger would also work,  -that way life has given him physical size and social dominance. I think the problem is the fact he's medium-sized. Yes, that's it.

Make the guy a dalek. In fact, make them all daleks.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Jerry Attrick on March 06, 2011, 07:41:59 PM

Snowglobe - magic!!!

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Feather on March 06, 2011, 08:57:25 PM

I loved the snow globe and the pin number ones. I thought both of these should go in "The New Yorker." 

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Diamond Lil on March 07, 2011, 01:42:54 PM

ditto!

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 08, 2011, 12:19:54 AM

OK - Another one.
(http://malcmcgookin.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/pg-mobile-copy.gif)

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 08, 2011, 01:20:59 AM

Send.  ;D

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Diamond Lil on March 08, 2011, 06:40:36 AM

ditto  ;D

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Roger Kettle on March 08, 2011, 09:23:02 AM

Another belter, Malc.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Bilthehut on March 08, 2011, 10:52:17 AM

Nice one.  Would adding 'Cover me' before 'I'm going in' improve it ?

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: The Peepmaster on March 08, 2011, 11:13:14 AM

I've seen worse.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 12, 2011, 12:11:02 PM

This may seem a trivial point, but in the cartoon with the two hobos, would "then I forgot my PIN numbers" be better than just the singular "pin number"?

Our lives are governed by so many PIN numbers, usernames and passwords these days, it seemed to me (logically) just forgetting one wouldn't cause this guy's downfall.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: The Peepmaster on March 12, 2011, 12:41:03 PM

No. Keep it simple. If you have to extend it to plural pin numbers, you might as well add, "and I also forgot the address of my financial advisor, didn't think to realise the equity in my property, didn't cash in my pension scheme or ISAs..."

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Roger Kettle on March 12, 2011, 01:13:12 PM

Singular, definitely.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 12, 2011, 09:47:40 PM

OK.

What about their shoes? Too clean?

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Bilthehut on March 13, 2011, 01:10:49 AM

ftp://

Quote from: Malc on March 12, 2011, 09:47:40 PM

What about their shoes? Too clean?

Some standards have to be maintained.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Joan on March 13, 2011, 09:35:30 PM

I laughed at them all, Malc. Send them all.

Don't worry about the singular/plural of numbers - all you need is pin - it stands for personal idenitification number, so if you say pin number, you're really saying personal identification number number. 

Just to be pedantic ...

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: The Peepmaster on March 14, 2011, 10:42:16 AM

Quote from: Joan on March 13, 2011, 09:35:30 PM

I laughed at them all, Malc. Send them all.

Don't worry about the singular/plural of numbers - all you need is pin - it stands for personal idenitification number, so if you say pin number, you're really saying personal identification number number. 

Just to be pedantic ...

No, it stands for personal identification number, actually. (I can be even more pedantic.)  ;)

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Malc on March 14, 2011, 09:26:11 PM

Peeps is the new Wat Tyler, leading the Pedants Revolt.

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: The Peepmaster on March 14, 2011, 10:09:30 PM

I thought that said "Twat Tyler" at first.  >:(

Title: Re: What do you think of these?
Post by: Joan on March 15, 2011, 06:20:40 AM

Quote from: The Peepmaster on March 14, 2011, 10:42:16 AM

Quote from: Joan on March 13, 2011, 09:35:30 PM

I laughed at them all, Malc. Send them all.

Don't worry about the singular/plural of numbers - all you need is pin - it stands for personal idenitification number, so if you say pin number, you're really saying personal identification number number. 

Just to be pedantic ...

No, it stands for personal identification number, actually. (I can be even more pedantic.)  ;)

OH :-P with extra bubbles!