Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on August 19, 2013, 11:42:27 AM

Title: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 19, 2013, 11:42:27 AM

Tomorrow, I am going down to the head office of BT and, for starters, I'm going to punch the doorman. I'm then going to punch my way through reception,  go into the first office I can find and punch everyone in there. When I am eventually overpowered by security, I will scream "Please hold. We are very busy at the moment". When the security chief says "What?" I will punch him in the face.

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 19, 2013, 04:39:12 PM

This doorman being Thumper McFury, the well know psychopath with a well known hatred for cartoony types? Good luck.    <-

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 19, 2013, 06:51:44 PM

...and when I get released on bail for the earlier fracas, I'm going straight back to BT head office where I will punch Thumper the doorman again (he really should have learned). I will then punch my way up to the top floor and into the office of the top banana. As he attempts to reason with me, I will stick three telephones, a broadband router and a fax machine up his arse.

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 19, 2013, 10:17:42 PM

Would this be the wrong time to mention that the "top banana" is Ripper McFury, the evil twin of Thumper, and that he hates not only cartoony types (it's a family trait), but also Scots, Scots from Dundee and people whose name sounds like lodger.   ???

On the plus side, he's a rampant homosexual so you may make a good friend with threats like that.   :-*

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 19, 2013, 10:20:12 PM

I probably should have asked...

Communications issues?   :-[

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 19, 2013, 11:21:09 PM

Nothing wrong with Roger's communications. Loud and clear, mate - loud and clear!

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 19, 2013, 11:23:03 PM

I wouldn't recommend using any of his phones for a phew days...

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Malc on August 20, 2013, 07:48:15 AM

My brother Dave isn't good with words. He punched a doorman when the firm offered him a job but said he needed to fill in their questionnaire first...

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 20, 2013, 09:23:41 AM

Did he get the doorman's job? Sound perfect!

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 20, 2013, 10:06:07 PM

Quote from: Malc on August 20, 2013, 07:48:15 AM

My brother Dave isn't good with words. He punched a doorman when the firm offered him a job but said he needed to fill in their questionnaire first...

Wow. Glad they didn't tell him he'd been unsuccessful.  :o

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Rob Baker on August 20, 2013, 11:09:26 PM

Quote from: Malc on August 20, 2013, 07:48:15 AM

My brother Dave isn't good with words. He punched a doorman when the firm offered him a job but said he needed to fill in their questionnaire first...

;D

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on August 28, 2013, 11:25:14 PM

Think it's time to bake Roger a cake with a file hidden in it?   ;)