Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on November 20, 2013, 03:02:49 PM

Title: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 20, 2013, 03:02:49 PM
Just before I left to return to the UK, I posted a parcel - lovely pair of Ugg boots for a lady who wanted the genuine Australian article. They were quite expensive, the equivalent of 70 quid, and they cost about 30 quid to post! I just got a note through the letter box from Royal Mail that they want 30 quid more for customs duty!

The little note on the bottom says that if they don't get it they will post the item back to return address. The joke's on them, because I only found out yesterday I bought the wrong size boots.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 20, 2013, 06:58:41 PM
Welcome back to these shores, Mr. McGookin! Let me know if you're planning any trips up North.
By the way, a friend once posted me some beef jerky from Montana. I received a letter, informing me that it had been seized by Customs and destroyed. I kept imagining these Customs officers "destroying" the jerky with a can of beer when they knocked off work.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 21, 2013, 07:57:26 AM
Yes, I imagine some Customs officer with wife/girlfriend/daughter with size 6 feet will have a lovely pair of pink-ish Ugg boots for Xmas
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 21, 2013, 02:50:52 PM
I once bought an adult dog from America for my dog breeding business/home for useless old gay dogs  – they wouldn’t let the dog out the shipping crate to pee until after I went to a different building in the shipping complex and paid the tax and took the receipt back over to be checked out.
 
I wonder if these customs people are just not nice people. 
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 21, 2013, 03:22:14 PM
I think they are arseholes.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 21, 2013, 03:29:57 PM
I was at Heathrow a couple of years back and watched a group of customs arseholes deliberately slow down a large group of foreigners, some of whom had arrived on my plane, and who were desperate to make their connecting flight. There were six to eight officials and instead of each lending a hand, they sat or stood whilst one slowly removed items from holdalls, etc, and examined them to see if they contained semtex or cocaine.

I had four hours until my connection and invited some to jump ahead of me in the queue, but was told that each would be (slowly) dealt with in order. One passenger lost his temper and squealed that he had waited for half an hour already and was just about to miss his connection. The large bald customs idiot snapped back "well you shouldna been late then, should ya?"

No, I reckon not nice and stupid are the prerequisites for the job - certainly for promotion.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 21, 2013, 03:32:01 PM
...but they keep us safe, eh?
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on November 21, 2013, 10:05:22 PM
...but they keep us safe, eh?

What does? Customs officials or Ugg boots?   ???
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 22, 2013, 08:49:14 AM
I think one's as effective as the other.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 22, 2013, 03:33:48 PM
Ugg boots have the added benefit of keeping one safe from pregnancy.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on November 22, 2013, 09:13:54 PM
Ugg boots have the added benefit of keeping one safe from pregnancy.

They're sheepskin. They would be considered as foreplay in some areas of Scotland.

Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on November 24, 2013, 10:17:45 PM
I think I've sussed this out.

Tell the truth Malc, have you departed from Oz because that bloody "I'm a Celebrity" has started ???

(I'm sure it's actually filmed in The Trossachs...)
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Diamond Lil on November 25, 2013, 07:01:05 AM

They're sheepskin. They would be considered as foreplay in some areas of Scotland.

 :D
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Malc on November 26, 2013, 11:18:14 AM
I've picked up the boots from the Post Office, and I can see how honesty is NOT the best policy. I put the price of the boots on the form that sticks to the front of the parcel and anything over fifteen quid attracts customs duty. Next time, anything I post will be fourteen quid.
Title: Re: Customs Fee
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on November 26, 2013, 11:18:47 PM
I've picked up the boots from the Post Office, and I can see how honesty is NOT the best policy. I put the price of the boots on the form that sticks to the front of the parcel and anything over fifteen quid attracts customs duty. Next time, anything I post will be fourteen quid.

Excellent idea. Feel free to send me a Harley Davidson (mind bubble wrap it), and I'll send you a cheque for that fourteen quid.

Cheers.

 ;)