Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Sandy Buttcheeks on January 24, 2014, 10:34:50 PM
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Sometimes I amaze myself, I really do. Ebay and old technology, what a godsend it is.
Poor old Mrs Buttcheeks has been having serious problems with her mum, the poor old soul is on a downward spiral of dementia. Thankfully, we live in a small village where most people know each other. Which is just as well really, since this week alone the old soul has escaped her house and managed to walk into our neighbours house, and also the house of a couple across the back garden from us. In fairness, she did get two cups of tea and a bit of cake. We're now thinking of making her t-shirts with her address on it, so she can be more easily returned.
Anyhoo, I digress. The worst of the issues just now is bloody keys. House keys. HER house keys and her lack of ability in keeping the things where they can be found...by her. She has locked herself in. She has locked herself out. She has locked carers in also. All this means that our phone is red hot, and the conversation usually start with "It's just me. I've lost them again, hen !", and to which the reply is "AARRGGHH Mum, for f**ks sake. I'll be round in two minutes". Two hours later, my caring wife returns, dust covered and moaning that we'll need to get another set cut because the keys can't be found.
Enter Mr Buttcheeks, resident genius.
My wife being new to the joys of online shopping, has just had a paypal and ebay account set up for her by my good self. Perfect thought I, lets get her sorted with a nice wee easy purchase to get into the swing of it. The conversation went thus,
Mr B..."Got a great idea. Look and see if they still do those whistling key ring finder things on ebay"
Mrs B.."Those what?"
Mr B..."Those fobs you put on your keys, and if you lose them you simply whistle
and they beep. Ideal for your mum, if she looses her keys again, you'll be able to find them in the house".
Mrs B.. "Brilliant, that'll save getting keys cut"
Mr B..."Yep"
Mr Buttcheeks now retires to a comfy chair, gloating in his genius.
Two days later, speedy ebay transaction pops through the door. One less problem for my wife to tear her hair out at, thinks I.
Nope, because Mrs Buttcheeks can't whistle.
If I could only half describe the attempts by Mrs B, the breath wasted, the saliva dribbled, the lips numbed, in the vain attempt at setting the fob off, it would still not do the scene justice. I'm sure my son and I were on our way to passing out from laughter.
Back to the drawing board.
Anyone want a mother-in-law?
:(
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Can't your wife whistle?
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Can't your wife whistle?
Nope. ;D
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Nope, because Mrs Buttcheeks can't whistle.
Oh man, that is why I love this site...
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Check eBay for a whistle she can blow.
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Or how about this (http://traceltd.co.uk/id69.html)?
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Ahem. (http://www.vinmag.com/online/media/gbu0/prodlg/mug-049-left.jpg)
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Sandy, a great tale which now appears to have been mince-jacked.
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Dear Lord.
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Dear Lord, you moron.
Ignore the full stops Double space and capitals That's the way ahead !!
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Now that Ive proven the full stop scenario, who ever could be sad enough to ensure that when a full stop is removed a comma is inserted to keep the English correct?
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Sandy, a great tale which now appears to have been mince-jacked, you moron.
I wish I could have videoed it
I would have gladly shared it with the world (well, here anyway)
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A tiresome, unfunny gag----who could possibly be behind this?
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Stop quoting fan mail, Roger. ;D
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A tiresome, unfunny gag----who could possibly be behind this?
I need a lie down
I think I'm scared of full stops now
There must be a name for that
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I think we should all praise Mr Buttcheeks for his dedication to solving the problem.
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I think we should all praise Mr Buttcheeks for his dedication to solving the problem.
If me and Roger can't get the Tippex off of our screens, there will be trouble
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Now, that IS funny.
Study it, Mince.
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Sandy, teach me how to be funny.
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Let's just say you caught me on a bad day.
I read Sandy's initial post this morning, hugely enjoyed it, and decided to respond this evening when I'd finished work. It turned out to be a long day, not helped by a bloody sore shoulder that even hurts when I write. Anyway, work finally done, I logged in to find Sandy's post and subsequent replies had changed somewhat. Full stops had been replaced by "you moron" ( a word I dislike) and the posts had become virtually unreadable. I couldn't quite grasp the humour in this but that's certainly down to me. Like I said, you caught me on a bad day.
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Sandy, teach me how to be funny.
The path is long, perilous and not for the faint-hearted. It's also a bit muddy at this time of year. If you're willing though, then walk this road with me and I shall impart all I know about humour. Don't worry about shoes, you won't be walking long.
;)
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Let's just say you caught me on a bad day.
Have you noticed that you don't say such things to any other member on your bad days? It's just an observation.
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Let's just say you caught me on a bad day.
Have you noticed that you don't say such things to any other member on your bad days? It's just an observation.
You're special. ;D
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Let's just say you caught me on a bad day.
Have you noticed that you don't say such things to any other member on your bad days? It's just an observation.
Yes, I have noticed.