Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Diane CBPFC on September 10, 2014, 07:16:14 PM

Title: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 10, 2014, 07:16:14 PM
Okay me first, representing western Canada...
"Nude man bites police dog after wild car chase"
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/nude-man-bites-police-dog-after-wild-car-chase-1.2761229?cmp=fbtl&utm_content=buffer3da03&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/nude-man-bites-police-dog-after-wild-car-chase-1.2761229?cmp=fbtl&utm_content=buffer3da03&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 10, 2014, 09:32:03 PM
Great headline, Diane. If you could only throw in "sex romp", it would be perfect.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2014, 09:45:11 AM
Honda Civic? Nude? Being chased by dogs?

Apart from being a Tuesday, it sounds like a great night out.

 ;D
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 18, 2014, 05:00:20 PM
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/cougar-causing-a-stir-outside-hospital-in-calgary-1.2770187?cmp=fbtl (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/cougar-causing-a-stir-outside-hospital-in-calgary-1.2770187?cmp=fbtl)

Cougar causing a stir outside hospital in Calgary
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diamond Lil on September 18, 2014, 07:41:55 PM
Phew! My 67 year old friend left yesterday for a month in Calgary and your headline had me worried that she had spied a fine young intern on her first day.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 18, 2014, 10:17:52 PM
LOL She still may have, there are other hospitals in Calgary.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 20, 2014, 04:31:49 PM
They ended up killing the cougar - which is a sucky end to that story.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on September 22, 2014, 03:11:14 PM
I think 67 is about ten years over the "Cougar" limit. Though I'm sure she sets pulses racing down at the bowls club.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 22, 2014, 08:31:54 PM
Police seek ageist, sexist, sombrero-wearing Scottish cartoonist!
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 22, 2014, 08:50:01 PM
Police seek ageist, sexist, sombrero-wearing Scottish cartoonist!

I hear he was last seen at the bowls club.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 22, 2014, 08:58:28 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 23, 2014, 03:04:19 PM
With a club in his bowels.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on September 23, 2014, 06:19:09 PM
*Kenneth Williams voice*  Ooooh, nasty...
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 23, 2014, 06:29:55 PM
They ended up killing the cougar - which is a sucky end to that story.

A sucky end. Did she have her teeth out?   :o
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 23, 2014, 07:26:08 PM
Any minute now... "virgin on the ridiculous!".
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on September 29, 2014, 01:37:41 PM
One from today: Rollercoaster Decapitates Young Deer. Leaves Screaming Passengers Showered In Blood
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 29, 2014, 05:46:56 PM
I wish I could get the newspapers you all get. They make the news interesting. All I get is stuff like "Townhall to get facelift" or "Local policeman ties lace".

I missing out.

 :'(

Nice pic by the way, Malc. Did your sombrero blow away?
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 29, 2014, 08:14:18 PM
Today's Billings Gazette (Montana) informs me that the man accused of abandoning his chicken truck has been found. While I'm obviously delighted that this chap has been apprehended, I'm slightly confused about the story. Is "abandoning a chicken truck" a crime? It seems a rather specific accusation. For example, is "abandoning a piglet truck" just a ticking-off misdemeanour? I should investigate this.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on September 30, 2014, 12:09:51 AM
Abandoning your chicken truck isn't a misdemeanor. It's a fowlony.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 30, 2014, 09:24:28 AM
Put your sombrero back on and stand in the corner, McGookin.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: The Peepmaster on October 01, 2014, 04:45:48 PM
Put your sombrero back on and stand in the corner, McGookin.

Better if he put a capon.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 02, 2014, 12:03:58 AM
Boom tish.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 02, 2014, 12:04:47 AM
Pig in Australia Steals 18 Beers from Campers, Gets Drunk, Fights Cow.


http://gadling.com/2013/09/10/australian-pig-steals-beer/ (http://gadling.com/2013/09/10/australian-pig-steals-beer/)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on October 02, 2014, 12:14:09 AM
No way! I don't care that you've posted the link. That has to be made up.   >:(
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on October 02, 2014, 10:36:12 AM
Yeah. Now if it had said Glasgow...
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 03, 2014, 05:38:53 PM
Potato grows inside woman's vagina after she used it as contraception

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/403155/Colombian-woman-potato-removed-sprouts-roots-vagina (http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/403155/Colombian-woman-potato-removed-sprouts-roots-vagina)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Roger Kettle on October 03, 2014, 06:50:54 PM
I am so proud of the paper I work for.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on October 03, 2014, 10:29:02 PM
The Columbian, she was very receptive,
To a vegetarian contraceptive,
A large Maris Piper,
Fit snugly inside her
Which was really rather impressive.

 :\
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 06, 2014, 05:23:05 PM
Rhyming "impressive" with "contraceptive" is a bit of a stretch.


No, don't go there.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on October 06, 2014, 08:46:48 PM
Rhyming "impressive" with "contraceptive" is a bit of a stretch.


No, don't go there.

Aw come on, how many poets do you know who have used "Maris Piper" ? Bit of credit here, surely.

 ;D
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: The Peepmaster on October 12, 2014, 03:30:31 PM
Backpacker had 3-inch-long leech living up her nose.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11157074/Backpacker-had-3-inch-long-leech-living-up-her-nose.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11157074/Backpacker-had-3-inch-long-leech-living-up-her-nose.html)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on October 12, 2014, 08:34:58 PM
I don't even want to look at that link...nor Malc's before it.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 14, 2014, 10:44:37 AM
Pet Parrot Missing For Four Years Returns, Now Speaks Spanish

http://consumerist.com/2014/10/13/pet-parrot-missing-for-four-years-returns-now-speaks-spanish/ (http://consumerist.com/2014/10/13/pet-parrot-missing-for-four-years-returns-now-speaks-spanish/)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on October 14, 2014, 07:07:53 PM
I love the fact that the picture says " Not Nigel".  ;D

Lovely plumage.
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on October 16, 2014, 02:35:22 AM
I can't believe that woman didn't notice that leach up her nose - but at least we know she isn't a nose picker.

Couldn't look at the potato link.  ???

The parrot story was interesting - you do have to wonder what he will do next.

Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on October 20, 2014, 11:19:59 AM
UKIP Chief Forced To Deny He Played Bungle in Rainbow
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on October 20, 2014, 07:04:37 PM
UKIP Chief Forced To Deny He Played Bungle in Rainbow

Did you miss out the word "with" in that sentence? 
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Diane CBPFC on October 21, 2014, 07:41:17 AM
Not a newspaper headline but TV weather - what happens when you combine the weather with the promotion of shelter dogs...


http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/10/20/dog-weather-forecast-edmonton-mike-sobel_n_6014536.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/10/20/dog-weather-forecast-edmonton-mike-sobel_n_6014536.html)
Title: Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
Post by: Malc on November 05, 2014, 09:15:49 PM
Blind woman sues Coles supermarket chain over online shopping website


It had to come, eh?