Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 07:23:00 PM

Title: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 07:23:00 PM
A wacky friend of mine loves Beau Peep. I, however, have apparently lived in a cave all my life and was unaware of the existence of Beau Peep. Quelle horreur! Lo and behold, I discovered this forum! I think I may have learned lots here, but I decided to take up the invitation to say "hello" here, anyway. So, "Hello".

I understand that in order to be a member of this board a person must insult some unfortunate person called "Tarquin." Is this true?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 07:28:01 PM
I understand that in order to be a member of this board a person must insult some unfortunate person called "Tarquin." Is this true?

Yes.

Oh, and welcome.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 07:30:07 PM
A wacky friend of mine loves Beau Peep. I, however, have apparently lived in a cave all my life and was unaware of the existence of Beau Peep. Quelle horreur! Lo and behold, I discovered this forum! I think I may have learned lots here, but I decided to take up the invitation to say "hello" here, anyway. So, "Hello".

I understand that in order to be a member of this board a person must insult some unfortunate person called "Tarquin." Is this true?

Yep - you have to insult Tarquin the twat, to become a member, but don't worry, it'll come naturally to you when you least expect it to.

I have a fairly elevated status here, but welcome anyway. Enjoy the board.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
It's "twit", Peepmaster. Ladies are present.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 07:39:19 PM
It's "twit", Peepmaster. Ladies are present.

Sorry, Mince - I wasn't sure if it was too rude or not. It was the alliteration I wanted for effect. I could use the word "prat" instead. Yes, Tarquin the prat will do.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 07:41:11 PM
How about Tarquin the Tosser?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 07:43:18 PM
A wacky friend of mine loves Beau Peep. I, however, have apparently lived in a cave all my life and was unaware of the existence of Beau Peep. Quelle horreur! Lo and behold, I discovered this forum! I think I may have learned lots here, but I decided to take up the invitation to say "hello" here, anyway. So, "Hello".

I understand that in order to be a member of this board a person must insult some unfortunate person called "Tarquin." Is this true?

Yep - you have to insult Tarquin the twat, to become a member, but don't worry, it'll come naturally to you when you least expect it to.

I have a fairly elevated status here, but welcome anyway. Enjoy the board.
I am still watching
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 07:44:37 PM
He can do bold, but not a full stop.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 07:46:35 PM
He can do bold, but not a full stop.

I just realised, I could have said Tarquin the Twot. That would have retained the alliteration aspect. Should I change it from Tarquin the Prat to Tarquin the Twot?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 07:49:51 PM
Sorry keeping the children under control I forgot my manners..
Welcome Calypso it is not compulsary to insult Tarquin you can do it to all with aplomb..
You can see from above what I mean..
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 07:53:52 PM
Okay, I'll give it a try. I don't know if I'll fit in or not.

The Legend of Tarquin


There once was a lad named Tarquin
Who suddenly fell apart when
He gazed at his thighs,
Which had tripled in size
So he covered himself in a tarpaulin.

Shy was this young man called Tarquin
His love life he wanted to start again.
Girls thought him a prude,
Cause he hid in the nude,                               
And just skipped on the old rutting-hart sin.

A desperate young man named Tarquin,
Decided to dress as a Harlequin.
As Thunderthighs the Third,
He got him a bird,
Until she did find him a charlatan.

A sad young man named Tarquin
Was dismayed at all the depart din.
He looked at his thighs -
They'd decreased by a size -
More meals he would have to start then.

A despairing old dude called Tarquin
Was sitting home drawing his art when
The sketch that he drew,
Pot-bellied, tis true,
Was the pig who had stolen his heart again.

This poor little man named Tarquin
Felt he'd been hit with a dart then.
He cried and he prayed;
He suddenly swayed,
And remembered their first-meet in the mart-pen.

A worried old guy named Tarquin
Was sadly in lack of a car when
He realized his fate
Was to constantly wait
On the love of that porkish old tart then.

He dreamed of his life this Tarquin,
With the aid of a glass of part gin.
The liquor it flowed -
He thought he'd explode -
When he saw he'd become an old fart then.

Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 07:57:58 PM
Yep. You'll fit in just fine.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 03, 2007, 08:25:02 PM
Aye, Calypso,

Do not believe everything you read me little rhyming one ? Mince is an evil little upstart and his days are numbered ? left to his own devices he would have us all learning lists of spelling words and grammar rules. I have aligned my forces with the good and honourable TarquinThunderthighs the Third and have the full weight of the C.B.P.F.C. behind me as we plot Mince?s comeuppance.

He doesn?t know how and he doesn?t know when but something horrible and perhaps sticky is going to happen to Mincy in the annual Beau Peep Panto this Christmas.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 08:28:09 PM
Mince, I'm not sure if your comment is a compliment or not.

Thanks to all for the welcomes. Thanks for heads-up, Diane. I certainly will take everything you said into consideration before aligning myself with anyone. It seems that Peter is the real gentleman around here.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 08:28:42 PM
Aye, Calypso,

Do not believe everything you read me little rhyming one ? Mince is an evil little upstart and his days are numbered ? left to his own devices he would have us all learning lists of spelling words and grammar rules. I have aligned my forces with the good and honourable TarquinThunderthighs the Third and have the full weight of the C.B.P.F.C. behind me as we plot Mince?s comeuppance.

He doesn?t know how and he doesn?t know when but something horrible and perhaps sticky is going to happen to Mincy in the annual Beau Peep Panto this Christmas.


Count me in Diane.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 08:30:24 PM
It seems that Peter is the real gentleman around here.

Ah, great! I've got tea everywhere. What a waste.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 08:31:47 PM
Mince, I'm not sure if your comment is a compliment or not.

Thanks to all for the welcomes. Thanks for heads-up, Diane. I certainly will take everything you said into consideration before aligning myself with anyone. It seems that Peter is the real gentleman around here.

Now we are on a roll.
Well said Calypso.
If we stand proud and together nothing can hurt us.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 08:34:25 PM
It seems that Peter is the real gentleman around here.

Ah, great! I've got tea everywhere. What a waste.
Gets his old ma up off her sick bed to make him a cup of tea and then waste it..
you can see what he's like..
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 03, 2007, 08:36:30 PM
Mince, I really worry when you start talking to yourself.
Diane, it's funny you mention Christmas---I started writing the Beau build-up today. Dennis wants a solid gold statue of a pig this year.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 08:38:55 PM
Hey, Roger. Guess what the title of this topic is!
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 08:43:45 PM
Ah, great! I've got tea everywhere. What a waste.

Mince, think nothing of it. I merely thought you were dismayed to have spilled your tea all over yourself in the excitement that the board had a new member.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: peter on September 03, 2007, 08:45:41 PM
Ah, great! I've got tea everywhere. What a waste.

Mince, think nothing of it. I merely thought you were dismayed to have spilled your tea all over yourself in the excitement that the board had a new member.
You will do just great on here make yourself at home.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 08:47:10 PM

On the love of that porkish old tart then.


I do hope A Woman doesn't get to read this!  ;D
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 03, 2007, 10:25:30 PM
Let's see: I just joined this board and so far I've managed to insult a man I've never met and potentially alienate a nameless woman over a man's interest in a particular pork tart. I've also caused a person who is possibly named for a nonsensical, prancing Christmas pie to spill his tea. I wonder how much other destruction I can cause on here.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 10:31:06 PM
After Tarquin, it's Roger. Just insult Dundee United: that's easy.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 10:33:15 PM
Let's see: I just joined this board and so far I've managed to insult a man I've never met and potentially alienate a nameless woman over a man's interest in a particular pork tart. I've also caused a person who is possibly named for a nonsensical, prancing Christmas pie to spill his tea. I wonder how much other destruction I can cause on here.
Just don't rush things. There's plenty of time to upset everyone eventually. We did Roger last week. I think Tarkwin's probably had his fill by now too. Maybe we should all turn to Mince.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 10:37:08 PM
Or Peepmaster.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 10:42:10 PM
Or Peepmaster.

Here we go... Er.. a few reminders: In charge; Runs the shop; James the Twenty Ninth... Remind you of anybody?  ;)
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 10:43:51 PM
Forget Peepmaster. There's no fun or honour in picking on the insane.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 10:46:39 PM
Forget Peepmaster. There's no fun or honour in picking on the insane.

Let's start a gentle thread that the women can join in with. Any ideas for subject matter?

Here's one: "Knitting bobble-hats for lumberjacks".
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tom on September 03, 2007, 10:46:51 PM
Erm... could I just squeeze in a quick "hello" ?  :-[

Theres been a lot of new people joining lately... has the board been advertised?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 10:49:38 PM
Synchronised Vacuuming.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 10:50:05 PM
Erm... could I just squeeze in a quick "hello" ?  :-[

Theres been a lot of new people joining lately... has the board been advertised?

Is it appropriate to say "hello" to people we've already got fed up wi to know?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 03, 2007, 10:50:32 PM
Things are really turning ugly here.

But enough of the Moderators. Welcome, Calypso - I echo Diane's strains of the late, great John Denver, and hope you'll make yourself at home.

Please feel free to ignore the twin-headed beast that ostensibly guards this portal to the great unknown. One has delusions of grandeur, and the other has delusions of adequacy.

But we all live together, in a yellow submarine off the coast of Honallee...
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 10:57:37 PM
Things are really turning ugly here.

But enough of the Moderators.

Ha ha - that was excellent. I was beginning to wonder where Tarka the Rotter had got to!
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 03, 2007, 11:12:13 PM
Tarka the Rotter - how very droll of the troll.

Which reminds me...I really must compliment both our new lady members for their marvellously inventive poetic insults. This place is definitely on the up. Tweedledee and Tweedledum apart, that is.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 11:15:41 PM
Tarka the Rotter - how very droll of the troll.

Which reminds me...I really must compliment both our new lady members for their marvellously inventive poetic insults. This place is definitely on the up. Tweedledee and Tweedledum apart, that is.

Hang on - this is backfiring on me...
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 03, 2007, 11:26:34 PM
I no longer have any idea what is going on in this site. I'm starting to yearn for the days when people would ask me when the next book was coming out.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 03, 2007, 11:27:39 PM
By the way, Peepsie, with this welcome influx of new members, have you considered changing your avatar? People might think you're a burd.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 03, 2007, 11:28:02 PM
When's the next book out, Roger?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 11:31:07 PM
I no longer have any idea what is going on in this site.

New people are joining the board.

When's the next book out?
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 11:32:03 PM
By the way, Peepsie, with this welcome influx of new members, have you considered changing your avatar? People might think you're a burd.

I need an image that's more manly.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 11:35:09 PM
Forget having to insult Tarquin III. New poeple should just have to buy a mug! (Last few left). http://www.beaupeep.com/pages/abdultradingpost_uk.html
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Mince on September 03, 2007, 11:36:47 PM
I need an image that's more manly.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/BritTeacher/Beau%20Peep/d683ff31.jpg)
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 03, 2007, 11:47:31 PM
It's 11.40 p.m and I'm going to bed. I have the feeling that Mince and Tarks will be up for several hours yet, crossing swords. I'm old, tired and my sword is blunt. G'night, everyone.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2007, 11:55:18 PM
It's 11.40 p.m and I'm going to bed. I have the feeling that Mince and Tarks will be up for several hours yet, crossing swords. I'm old, tired and my sword is blunt. G'night, everyone.

Goodnight, Roger. The cowboy film's nearly finished.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 04, 2007, 12:02:02 AM
I need an image that's more manly.

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/400/dickemeryshow_1.jpg)


Incidentally, I once went to a fancy dress party as Bananaman. There was a bloke there completely starkers, except for a piece of sandpaper rolled around his willy, and held in place by a piece of knotted thread. Yes, he was there as Dick Emery.





By the way, there were lots of women at the party too.
Title: Re: Another Hello
Post by: Calypso on September 04, 2007, 01:19:50 AM
But we all live together, in a yellow submarine off the coast of Honallee...

If I were you, I'd be watching out for the hurricanes I can cause.