Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on January 19, 2008, 11:28:04 PM

Title: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 19, 2008, 11:28:04 PM
This wasn't inspired by the chortling thread, this is a new idea.

One of us supplies the first bit of the gag, and the others throw in the punchline. No it HASN'T been done before, because these are ORIGINAL gags of our own making, not so-called classics that we're dredging up.

I'll start first.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 19, 2008, 11:29:28 PM
Shakespeare was kicked out of pubs in his home town so often he was known as...?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Colin on January 19, 2008, 11:32:30 PM
Shakespeare was kicked out of pubs in his home town so often he was known as...?

a drunken bastard.Bum.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Mince on January 19, 2008, 11:32:41 PM
Banned of Brothers
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tom on January 19, 2008, 11:35:51 PM
Bard of Stratford.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 19, 2008, 11:52:11 PM
You're getting there. Very slowly and painfully, but getting there.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Colin on January 20, 2008, 12:00:22 AM
Oh, oh, a drunken bardstard  ;D
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 20, 2008, 01:49:06 AM
....and we've now taken a detour via Barking.

OK, here's the answer.

Shakespeare was kicked out of pubs in his home town so often he was known as...?

The Barred Of Avon
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 20, 2008, 02:01:25 AM
See? Gosh anyone would think you lot thought this thread was a load of boring tripe. Or something.

Here's another one.

The founder and creator of Fox News Channel is a well-known naturist. He is often known as...?

Here's a clue, just this once.
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:4u8LwNgSlLOkjM:http://www.art-of-)
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Colin on January 20, 2008, 02:51:13 AM
Pee Wee  ???
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Colin on January 20, 2008, 02:52:52 AM
Rupert the Bear.

Rupert.

An umbrella.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 20, 2008, 03:58:04 AM
*sigh*

Rupert The BARE!

Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: The Peepmaster on January 20, 2008, 10:00:20 AM
I got it, Malc - but you'd already posted the answer. "Naturist" was the clue!
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 20, 2008, 10:13:42 AM
Yes, but "naturist" was only the...Oh, I know what's happening here...

Kettle is no good as the butt of your pranks because he never realises what's going on at the best of times, so you've turned your attention to me  >:(

I can imagine the email now: "Malky's posted a new thread, let's pretend to misunderstand it as much as possible," is that it?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on January 20, 2008, 10:33:00 AM
Yup!  ;D
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on January 20, 2008, 10:34:30 AM
Give us another one. We are treating it as a serious competition on the thread you can't see. Peter's winning.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 20, 2008, 01:22:51 PM
Oh, so I'm supposed to continue to humiliate myself just to amuse a bunch of shiftless yobbos with nothing better to do?

Alright then, Here's a new one.

A famous native American tribe from the Hudson valley had all their shoes made by the same cobbler.
He would stretch, hammer and form the moccasins on the same apparatus. It was known as the...?

Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Mince on January 20, 2008, 01:29:04 PM
Is the "It" the tribe, the cobbler or the apparatus?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: The Peepmaster on January 20, 2008, 03:29:13 PM
Oh, so I'm supposed to continue to humiliate myself just to amuse a bunch of shiftless yobbos with nothing better to do?

Alright then, Here's a new one.

A famous native American tribe from the Hudson valley had all their shoes made by the same cobbler.
He would stretch, hammer and form the moccasins on the same apparatus. It was known as the...?


The Tribe with One Shoe-Shop"?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Vulture on January 20, 2008, 04:02:51 PM
Oh, so I'm supposed to continue to humiliate myself just to amuse a bunch of shiftless yobbos with nothing better to do?

Alright then, Here's a new one.

A famous native American tribe from the Hudson valley had all their shoes made by the same cobbler.
He would stretch, hammer and form the moccasins on the same apparatus. It was known as the...?



The Last of the Moccasins?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: peter on January 20, 2008, 04:28:38 PM
Dam I thought it was a Hoopi
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Mince on January 20, 2008, 04:29:50 PM
Chimchiminey.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on January 20, 2008, 04:49:56 PM
I think Vulture almost had it.

It's 'The Last Of The Apache'. Very funny, Malky!
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: The Peepmaster on January 20, 2008, 05:59:24 PM
It's "Sioux" (pronounced like "Choux" in "Choux Pastry").
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Vulture on January 20, 2008, 06:45:45 PM
It's "Sioux" (pronounced like "Choux" in "Choux Pastry").

I thought "Sioux" was pronounced "Sue"?
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on January 20, 2008, 07:32:17 PM
Not when you want to force a gag out of it.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: The Peepmaster on January 20, 2008, 09:41:13 PM
Not when you want to force a gag out of it.

Tarquin understands these things, and we both know how Malc's mind works. Anyway, that's that one solved. I wonder what others Malc has in store. This is quite fun.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Mince on January 20, 2008, 09:51:15 PM
Yes, this topic has produced a whole chimchiminey of laughs.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: peter on January 20, 2008, 10:21:21 PM
Yes, this topic has produced a whole chimchiminey of laughs.
Soon stop that call for a chimney sweep.
Be here in fifteen moments
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 21, 2008, 12:48:45 AM
I'm so glad you're enjoying this exciting new initiative, I feel so validated and not at all like a total tool.

Here's another one.

A football player wanted a game down at the local rec. He packed his boots, turned up to a game in progress and asked the coach if he could get a run.

The coach said "I don't know, are you the chief executive in a country's regional government, such as a province or state?"

The player said "no"

"Then sorry", says the coach, "this isn't some kind of pub competition, this is the........."
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on January 21, 2008, 01:00:03 AM
I'm so glad you're enjoying this exciting new initiative, I feel so validated and not at all like a total tool.

Here's another one.

A football player wanted a game down at the local rec. He packed his boots, turned up to a game in progress and asked the coach if he could get a run.

The coach said "I don't know, are you the chief executive in a country's regional government, such as a province or state?"

The player said "no"

"Then sorry", says the coach, "this isn't some kind of pub competition, this is the........."


President's Cup.

Easy-peasy lemon squeezy!
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: The Peepmaster on January 21, 2008, 02:23:29 AM
I was going to say Notts County.
Title: Re: Can You Finish Me Off? thread.
Post by: Malc on January 21, 2008, 06:51:14 AM
No! (he said excitedly trying to make it look like he doesn't know they're taking the p*ss) but you're doing very well. Just so overjoyed you're all enjoying this.