Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Diane CBPFC on February 09, 2008, 02:36:16 PM
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The Heretic
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
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The Heretic
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
:D :D :D :D :D
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The Heretic
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
Tut tut
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The Heretic
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
Tut tut
Peter, why 'tut tut'?
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i just thought that it was taking to long to get to the punch line.
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The Heretic
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
Tut tut
Peter, why 'tut tut'?
I imagine Peter was "tut-tutting" because pushing people off bridges shouldn't be encouraged. At the very least, it's bad manners.
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on a joke about faith
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i just thought that it was taking to long to get to the punch line.
Or he was simply "tut-tutting" because it was taking too long to get to the punchline. ::)
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What type of bridge was it it could have been a foot or a railway or road or one that went over water, all have different outcomes so I Tut Tutted.
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??? ??? ??? Has Diane spelt her name incorrectly on purpose in this thread's title?
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Of course not.
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Oh no... I see she's corrected it now. :)
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Oh no... I see she's corrected it now. :)
What happened? what happened?
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Tom was imagining things.
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Nope - my mistake... she's incorrectly spelt her name again! :o
Sherlock Tom thinks a mystery is afoot...
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Diane's joke is a classic Emo Phillips gag. Whatever happened to him?
He had a weird sing-song voice he used to deliver his material, but he seemed to give that up later when he realised his fellow Americans actually "got" his material and he didn't have to pretend he was an space alien or freak to excuse its esoteric nature.
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Never mind what happened to him - what happened to the joke I posted?
Why did it have to be split into a new thread? It was intended to complement the Sprials of Stamford story.
Mince you are an annoying git - just in case I haven't mentioned it yet this month. ::)
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Your joke seemed to be a topic all in itself. My post seemed unnecessary at the top.
But it doesn't matter. Roger has now turned it into a "spelling thread". I wish he'd give in with pulling us all up on our mistakes in English.
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Never mind what happened to him - what happened to the joke I posted?
Why did it have to be split into a new thread? It was intended to complement the Sprials of Stamford story.
Mince you are an annoying git - just in case I haven't mentioned it yet this month. ::)
Hi Diane, I'm really sorry about Mince. We, like you, are still learning about the irritating little oik man. He means well. I'm sure he'll put things back to the way they were. Keep the faith. Love Peepmaster.
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Hi Diane.
Love from me too. :-*
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Anyway, why does she assume it was me. Peepmaster is far more annoying.
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Malc - I just googled Emo Phillips's quotes - what a funny guy. He is even going to be in Canada this month.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
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Mince - you annoying little git - you just held up my posting about Emo.
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Gee, do I spot other people's posts as well? I feel like I am being picked on.
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Ah ha... a clue...
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Malc - I just googled Emo Phillips's quotes - what a funny guy. He is even going to be in Canada this month.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
Great line! I remember him well---very funny and surreal.
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And yet Tim Vine is just as weird in a very English working mens club comic way.
"I gave up watching tennis because of all the Satanism. That Goran...even e's a witch".
I'm sure we discussed the Yardbird's bass player before didn't we? Or was that Deja Vu?
I'll admit that last one was mine.
Said the actress to the bishop in the smelly lift.
Honest, these last two were mine. Said the father of the sextuplets.
OK, truthful now. Those last three I made up.
Said Moses.
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I remember hearing Elmo on the Steve Wright Show some years ago. I thought he was really whacky and very funny. Quite unique in fact. A comic I've grown to like lately is Jimmy Carr.