Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:08:25 AM

Title: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:08:25 AM
PRESENTER: We can either sit here with mulled wine and tell ghost stories or we can go house hunting.

CUSTOMER: We'll go house hunting.

He should have said: "Oh, shut up, @#%*-features! and just show us the houses."



Estate Agent valuing a house: "The bannister is not really sympathetic."

Yeah, and the mantelpiece is angry with the windows and the curtains have got the hump.

Stop talking crap!
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:22:43 AM
On the outside the house is "Oldy Worldy".
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: peter on April 03, 2008, 11:26:29 AM
oldy worldy means no running water unless it is rising damp
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:29:47 AM
oldy worldy means no running water unless it is rising damp

 :D

Is mum making you watch it?
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:30:58 AM
PRESENTER: And now for the wild-card house. Which way do you think it is?

CUSTOMER: This way [pointing]?

PRESENTER: No, it's this way.


She should have said: "Look, @#*%-face, just tell us where the &*@#ing house is."
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Malc on April 03, 2008, 01:35:04 PM
We'll get that heap of shite in Australia in about 6 months.
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Vulture on April 03, 2008, 05:49:26 PM
We'll get that heap of shite in Australia in about 6 months.

Oh, so delicately put!  :o
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 03, 2008, 05:57:09 PM
We'll get that heap of shite in Australia in about 6 months.

Oh, so delicately put!  :o

They don't " ::) their words" in Australia, Vulch!
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Roger Kettle on April 03, 2008, 06:48:43 PM
Round of applause, Peeps!
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 03, 2008, 08:10:18 PM
I'd have preferred a round of drinks, Roger, but thanks anyway.

Anyway, back to the subject - I'll buy a programme, Mince. How much are they?
Title: Re: To Buy or Not To Buy (programme)
Post by: Mince on April 03, 2008, 11:27:08 PM
?500, in cash.