Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: The Peepmaster on December 04, 2008, 11:44:20 PM
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Just the lyrics needed.
Christmas hits down the years will give an idea of the kind of substance that makes a seasonal song special.
Winner gets a mug. (Roger won't mind us giving one away).
Roger can judge it.
Competition closes on Christmas Eve.
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Thank the Lord at Christmas
Listen guys (and bints),
Now it's time to ditch the mince;
Cut the guts out of a turkey
(Switch the lights on if it's murky),
Make a feast for all to savour
With a special Yuletide flavour,
Yes it Christmas time once more
When we end up on the floor,
With a throbbing head so sore
Having had our fill of wine,
Beer, scotch, cider, lager 'n' lime,
Oh Christmas we love you,
Though you sometimes make us spew,
If not from Carlsberg Special,
Then because you're so commercial,
And we tend to lose sight
Of the message that is right
Peace and love with loads of hugs
Liking Mince, (and other mugs),
Thank the Lord it's just one day
That we have to act that way,
Yes thank the Lord
Thank the Lord
Yes, Let's all thank the Lord at Christmas.
(Repeat with addition of children singing and sleighbells)
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A Minceless Christmas
Snow upon the ground,
Mother Nature we must thank her,
Gathered round the tree
Sparkling gifts for which we hanker
Santa - is he coming?
You could say that that's a banker
Peace and love to all our friends
(Except Mince, 'cause he's annoying).
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No L, No L, No L, No L
Santa, bring me a new keyboard!
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I think Peeps is a lyricist of Tim Rice quality.
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No L, No L, No L, No L
Santa, bring me a new keyboard!
At the moment you're in third place, Diane. Well done.
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Ding-a-Ling, the church bells ring,
The choir sings la-la-la.
Lanterns glow in the snow,
Christmas blah-blah-blah.
I think we've got a new winner.
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It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.
All up and down the country,
Before the light was snuffed,
Turkeys they get murdered,
And cockerels they got stuffed,
Christmas cakes got marzipanned,
And puddin's they got steamed
Mothers they got desperate
And tired kiddies screamed.
Hundredweight's of Christmas cards,
Went flying through the post,
With first class postage stamps on those,
You had to flatter most.
Within a million kitchens,
Mince pies was being made,
On everyone's radio,
"White Christmas", it was played.
Out in the frozen countryside
Men crept round on their own,
Hacking off the holly,
What other folks had grown,
Mistletoe on willow trees,
Was by a man wrenched clear,
So he could kiss his neighbour's wife,
He'd fancied all the year.
And out upon the hillside,
Where the Christmas trees had stood,
All was completely barren,
But for little stumps of wood,
The little trees that flourished
All the year were there no more,
But in a million houses,
Dropped their needles on the floor.
And out of every cranny, cupboard,
Hiding place and nook,
Little bikes and kiddies' trikes,
Were secretively took,
Yards of wrapping paper,
Was rustled round about,
And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,
With the pedals sticking out.
Rolled up in Christmas paper
The Action Men were tensed,
All ready for the morning,
When their fighting life commenced,
With tommy guns and daggers,
All clustered round about,
"Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men"
The figures seemed to shout.
The church was standing empty,
The pub was standing packed,
There came a yell, "Noel, Noel!"
And glasses they got cracked.
From up above the fireplace,
Christmas cards began to fall,
And trodden on the floor, said:
"Merry Christmas, to you all."
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My last post was from Pam Ayres who'd just called in for a coffee.
Here's my attempt, it's a bit modern:
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee ding ding
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee chink
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee dar dar
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee jingle
I think the chink and jingle really give it that festive edge...
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It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.
All up and down the country,
Before the light was snuffed,
Turkeys they get murdered,
And cockerels they got stuffed,
Christmas cakes got marzipanned,
And puddin's they got steamed
Mothers they got desperate
And tired kiddies screamed.
Hundredweight's of Christmas cards,
Went flying through the post,
With first class postage stamps on those,
You had to flatter most.
Within a million kitchens,
Mince pies was being made,
On everyone's radio,
"White Christmas", it was played.
Out in the frozen countryside
Men crept round on their own,
Hacking off the holly,
What other folks had grown,
Mistletoe on willow trees,
Was by a man wrenched clear,
So he could kiss his neighbour's wife,
He'd fancied all the year.
And out upon the hillside,
Where the Christmas trees had stood,
All was completely barren,
But for little stumps of wood,
The little trees that flourished
All the year were there no more,
But in a million houses,
Dropped their needles on the floor.
And out of every cranny, cupboard,
Hiding place and nook,
Little bikes and kiddies' trikes,
Were secretively took,
Yards of wrapping paper,
Was rustled round about,
And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,
With the pedals sticking out.
Rolled up in Christmas paper
The Action Men were tensed,
All ready for the morning,
When their fighting life commenced,
With tommy guns and daggers,
All clustered round about,
"Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men"
The figures seemed to shout.
The church was standing empty,
The pub was standing packed,
There came a yell, "Noel, Noel!"
And glasses they got cracked.
From up above the fireplace,
Christmas cards began to fall,
And trodden on the floor, said:
"Merry Christmas, to you all."
I own that book of Pam Ayers poety. I also like "Throw another chair leg on the fire mother", "Madbrains Watkins" and the Basil and Ethel one.
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I also like this one...
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.
When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.
My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.
Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!
If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.
So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."
How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
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My last post was from Pam Ayres who'd just called in for a coffee.
Here's my attempt, it's a bit modern:
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee ding ding
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee chink
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee dar dar
Dig-a-dee dig-a-dee jingle
I think the chink and jingle really give it that festive edge...
When did the Chinese start to participate in Christmas songs?
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Ding Wong, Mary Lee and Hui
NB I only participated in this racist, seasonal humour because I know that Vulture is Chinese ? no offense to any surfing Chinese people is intended.
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She can take it on the Chin
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Ding Wong, Mary Lee and Hui
NB I only participated in this racist, seasonal humour because I know that Vulture is Chinese ? no offense to any surfing Chinese people is intended.
:D :D
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Gin Gull Bells, Gin Gull Bells
I guess a drunk seagull is not very Christmasy.
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Gin Gull Bells, Gin Gull Bells
I guess a drunk seagull is not very Christmasy.
Everyone else's entry has just moved up a place. ..0