Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Just a Fort => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on January 31, 2010, 08:25:30 PM
-
My long-time friend and golfing buddy, Fyodor, had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. I was with him at the time---it's too long a story to go into---but it had appeared to be a reasonably minor situation. Unfortunately, this hasn't proved to be the case and he will be having bypass surgery on Thursday. I can report that he remains as idiotic as ever ( the nurses in the ward are calling themselves "Fyodor's secretaries") and let me quote a conversation he had with the specialist...
Fyodor: After the operation, will I be in pain?
Specialist: Well, your sternum will be quite sore for a few days.
Fyodor: Oh, that's fine! As long as my breast bone doesn't hurt.
Sadly, it went over the specialist's head and he had launched into an explanation when Fyodor pointed out he was joking.
Anyway, I don't think he's got access to a computer but, all the best, Fydo---see you back on the course soon.
-
Get well soon, Fyodor!
-
Hoping you have a speedy recovery Fyodor.
My friend Kenny had his triple bypass last year just before he retired in July, he's already been back on the course.
-
Get well soon, Fyodor.
Humour is almost the best medicine in the world. My son (when aged 7) would regularly go into theatre for a lumbar puncture, making a joke as he went under ... finishing it off once he came out of it. At least that's what the nursing staff said. It made them smile. (ps the lad is now 25 and well.
-
I think people who get a heart attack while actually playing golf should get a free membership to the course for the next year.
Hope you are feeling well soon Fyodor! I will be thinking of you on THursday when I am at the opera.
HUGS!
-
Eck! I had one of those just over five years ago, including complications. Not fun at the time, although the recovery Luke Ward (AKA Stalag 17) was actually a lot of laughs, with some very mischievous fellow inmates, and I often wonder how many of my fellow POWs still survive. I was the baby of the bunch at 45 - I don't think there was anyone else under 65 on the ward.
I managed to escape without bypass surgery, and merely had a tiny metal cage (stent) inserted into my heart via my wrist, Mercifully, I had the only surgeon in the UK who preferred going in this way rather than the groin - although I still had to 'prepare' for that possibility.
At the time of the attack, I had no idea what was happening. I smoked a little (6 roll-ups a day - now none), was only a few pounds overweight, and had a reasonable diet, so I had no reason to suspect a heart attack. Even at the hospital, nobody would commit to an opinion because the machines they'd hooked me up to were giving conflicting signals. It wasn't until the day after that a consultant appeared at the foot of my bed, surrounded by baby-faced junior doctors, to tell me that I'd had a "coronary event". Fabulous - there was I scared witless, and weaker than I'd ever felt in my life, and he made it sound like I'd just come from a f***** Royal Garden Party!
Fydo, I'm so sorry to hear this news. It's not only a horrible time for you, but all those around you, and that includes your friends here. Be sure we're all pulling for you, and get well soon. It may take a little more time before you're back on the golf course with Roger, but while you're building up to that, do take the time to come and play around with us when you can. God bless, mate!
-
Good luck, Fido. Like many onhere, I've never met you, but you're one of our chums. Get well soon, or Mince will come and sort you out.
-
I've just realised this should have been posted on the "outpourings" thread but, what the hell, the sentiments remain the same.
Fyodor and I had played a couple of holes when he decided that he didn't feel up to playing on. I had assumed that he was desperately looking for an excuse because I was already winning. I still don't put it past him---he'll go to ridiculous lengths to avoid admitting I'm the better golfer. Although, I must admit this is taking it to extremes, even for him.
-
Hope you get well soon Fyodor.
-
Get well soon, Fyodor. :-* :-*
-
Fyodor, get well soon.
-
Although Fyodor has probably found a way to access the hospital's main server, far less a computer, I'll print these posts out and send it in a card today. I would send hugs but that's going to be sore on the sternum for a while :-*
-
I've just realised this should have been posted on the "outpourings" thread but, what the hell, the sentiments remain the same.
Don't worry about it, Roger. If it's any consolation, people already know you're an idiot when it comes to computers, and it's a well known adage that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Hope that puts your mind at rest.
-
Thanks, pal!
-
Don't mention it.
-
Something that might keep Fyodor smiling.
These are actual sentences typed by Medical Secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow:
1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient”s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
-
;D
-
I went up to see Fyodor today in Dundee's Ninewells hospital and he remains in idiotic form. He will be transferred tomorrow to Aberdeen where the operation will take place on Thursday. I fully expect him to come to during the operation and tell the surgeon how to do it.
-
I told Fyodor he had no business having a heart attack - doesn't smoke, hardly drinks, isn't overweight, keeps fit (well, Roger can say how fit he appears on the golf course...).
Very best wishes for a speedy recovery - take care, and maybe some red wine ;)
-
...and maybe some red wine ;)
Yes, good call, Elizabeth! I was actually told off by the consultant for not drinking enough. It's not all bad news.
-
A hospital patient called Fydo
(Whilst casually listening to Dido),
Once asked of a nurse,
"Do you think it's a curse
That's made me this ill, love, cos I do?"
-
Bravo! Last line was a test of perseverance, but well done indeed, Peeps.
-
I like to think I have a poem for every occasion.
-
I'm sure you do...like to think so.
-
Maybe so, but are any of them good ones?
-
So, how did the op go?
-
Latest news is that it went well. Fyodor has been moved from the intensive care unit to the high dependancy ward---I'm assured that's a step in the right direction. I'll add updates when I get them.
-
THat's good.
-
Get well soon, Fyodor! :-*
Very glad to hear it's going well so far.
-
Yes, please pass on my good wishes for a speedy recovery too.
-
No idea how I missed this one. Excellent news! Keep it up, Fydo.
-
I got a text message delivered to my phone today. (You know, the type that's translated into an electronic voice).
" HAD..A..BOWEL MOVEMENT..FOR SOME REASON..I..THOUGHT OF YOU....FYODOR..."
The signs are good.
-
Excellent news! I mean that he's on the mend enough to do texting and stuff, not that he's had a... although I'm sure that's pretty good news too... especially to Fydo.
-
The excellent news is that Roger is able to receive, and comprehend them. This from a self-confessed
idio Luddite.
-
I was under the impression that it was a text received over a landline, thus delivered in the form of an electronic voice reading the words out.
Answering the phone in the usual way doesn't seem like a cause for celebration to me. I've always assumed Roger capable of that, at least. But then, I could be wrong.
-
I was under the impression that it was a text received over a landline, thus delivered in the form of an electronic voice reading the words out.
Answering the phone in the usual way doesn't seem like a cause for celebration to me. I've always assumed Roger capable of that, at least. But then, I could be wrong.
Yes, but he realised it came from a texting device in the first place. Don't you see? That's progress!
-
Do I need to post that photograph of Roger's fax machine again?
-
Anyway, can Fydo bloody get well soon again so we can all friggin' well stop worrying about him. It does my head in. It's bad enough keeping up with birthdays.
-
Calm down, Peepsie, calm down - or it will be you next!
-
Om Mani Padme Hum, Om Mani Padme Hum, Om Mani Padme Hum. Have a beer. Om Mani Padme Hum,
-
I've just spoken to Fyodor who is now home after his triple bypass surgery. The specialist has warned him that it might take a while before he is as annoying as he was previously.
Welcome home, mate.
-
Great news Roger. Well done Fyodor. How soon before you get to beat Roger on the Golf Course again?
-
Great to hear you're back home now Fido.
-
Good to hear your bowels are opening a treat :-*
-
Yes, that's the best news. Yay, Fydo!
-
RECALLED TO LIFE!
-
Hooray !!! :)
-
Glad you are back Fyodor! ;D
-
Excellent! Now do try to avoid any over-excitement for a while. You've come to the right place.
-
Does this mean we're back to the full complement.... and that there'll be no more slagging off at week-ends?
-
and that there'll be no more slagging off at week-ends?
Why, has Mince gone away?
Welcome back to our bosoms, Fido.
-
So glad to have you back in our collective bosom ;D
-
Bill makes Mince seem normal. Good grief, is Bill the real Mince?
-
Welcome back, Fyodor! ;D
-
Bill makes Mince seem normal. Good grief, is Bill the real Mince?
You guessed -------------- NOT!
-
Welcome back, Fyodor! (http://users.tpg.com.au/pdcs01/wavey.gif)
-
Anyone want to buy some drugs?
-
;D ;D ;D
-
I'll have some aspirin if you gottem. Just as blood thinners, the old legs are cramping up again. Good to see you out, you're looking well.
-
Meet me at midnight by the old black dog. Tell no-one. Bring your own spatula.