Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Just a Fort => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on September 18, 2010, 06:45:46 PM

Title: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 18, 2010, 06:45:46 PM
Apparently, a CD with the first four songs from Act One is coming my way next week. I'll let you know what I think and, if it's okay with  the composers, try to find a way to let you hear them.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 18, 2010, 09:15:35 PM
I'd love to have written some of the lyrics.

I bet "Mince Glorious Mince" is one of the songs.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 18, 2010, 11:01:50 PM
As long as none include 'I saw Mincy kissing Santa Claus'.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 19, 2010, 01:30:16 AM
I think this is going to be the biggest musical hit since Cats.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 19, 2010, 01:15:33 PM
We just missed the chance to see Cats in Manila last July.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 20, 2010, 09:35:15 PM
Nige, I've just received the go-ahead from the composers to put the first songs up on here. Obviously, I haven't got the CD yet but, when I do, will I send it to you? Of course, I know how to post music CDs on here but I...er...thought you might prefer to do it.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 21, 2010, 12:40:32 PM
I don't have any facility for posting music files. Can the producers not post the tracks to a file sharing site and give us the links? Maybe Mince can advise...

Maybe the creators can post the tracks HERE... (http://www.myjonesmusic.com/files/music/add.html)
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 21, 2010, 02:12:42 PM
Send the CD or MP3s to me and I'll do it.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 21, 2010, 04:23:25 PM
But you have to then send the CD back to Roger, Mince. You can't give it out to any admirer as a Christmas present.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 21, 2010, 07:38:24 PM
I've had a further note to say that, as well as posting me the CD, they will send it by email to help the process of putting the music on to the site. I have no idea what this means. Presumably, it's quite useful.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 22, 2010, 01:21:22 AM
They'll be sending you email attachments of the sound files. That's great. Just what you need. Just forward them to Mince when you receive them.

Pardon me for arriving late but I've had two HUGE opportunities come to me tonight via Facebook. One, a top marketing guy in Scotland wants to talk with me, having seen my Isle of Bute, and Holiday Trails FB pages, and another ex-client following me wants me to sort a bespoke tour in Vietnam for a party who's daughter is in the next Miss Earth. (We organised this for the enquirers daughter and associates when the competition was held in the Philippines last year.  Here's a picture. (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30961029&id=1367622833&fbid=1333790349311&ref=mf)

I also found out a niece gave birth today, again via FB..

Of course, I'm only mentioning this because one person ridiculed FB recently...
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Vulture on September 22, 2010, 04:51:31 AM
They'll be sending you email attachments of the sound files. That's great. Just what you need. Just forward them to Mince when you receive them.

Pardon me for arriving late but I've had two HUGE opportunities come to me tonight via Facebook. One, a top marketing guy in Scotland wants to talk with me, having seen my Isle of Bute, and Holiday Trails FB pages, and another ex-client following me wants me to sort a bespoke tour in Vietnam for a party who's daughter is in the next Miss Earth. (We organised this for the enquirers daughter and associates when the competition was held in the Philippines last year.  Here's a picture. (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30961029&id=1367622833&fbid=1333790349311&ref=mf)

I also found out a niece gave birth today, again via FB..

Of course, I'm only mentioning this because one person ridiculed FB recently...

Maybe it's a little early in the morning but.... your niece gave birth via Facebook? It was so much harder than that when I had my three kids!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 22, 2010, 08:16:08 AM
[...] for a party who's daughter is in the next Miss Earth.

whose
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 22, 2010, 06:35:18 PM
I've just listened to the four songs and have forwarded them to Mince to post here.
I absolutely love them!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 22, 2010, 09:38:58 PM
The four songs are in this album: http://cameldung.co.uk/index.php?action=media;sa=album;in=4 (http://cameldung.co.uk/index.php?action=media;sa=album;in=4)

If you cannot access the album, make a post here and one of the admins will make it visible to you.

Or I can just make it visible to all members. I'll wait for Roger to tell me.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Tom on September 22, 2010, 09:48:14 PM
 I can't view it. I get access is denied error.  :'(
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 22, 2010, 09:50:26 PM
I have added you. Try now.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Vulture on September 22, 2010, 09:52:15 PM
The four songs are in this album: http://cameldung.co.uk/index.php?action=media;sa=album;in=4 (http://cameldung.co.uk/index.php?action=media;sa=album;in=4)

If you cannot access the album, make a post here (A post) and one of the admins will make it visible to you.

Or I can just make it visible to all members. I'll wait for Roger to tell me.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Tom on September 22, 2010, 10:13:32 PM
I like them!

'In My Time' I think is my favourite, or maybe 'Nomad'... they're all good though. I wouldn't mind hearing more...
 :)
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 22, 2010, 10:19:45 PM
Can you let me listen in Mincey please?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 22, 2010, 10:21:30 PM
Vulture and Rob, try now.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 22, 2010, 11:39:47 PM
Drat! "Access to this Album is denied"
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 12:07:26 AM
Try now.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Feather on September 23, 2010, 04:13:59 AM
Mince, I'm not allowed in either.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 10:17:26 AM
Try now.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 23, 2010, 10:48:54 AM
Mince, you can make the songs available to everyone.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 23, 2010, 12:57:55 PM
Fantastic. I love 'em. Can anyone listen to these? Can we share them?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 02:24:57 PM
Mince, you can make the songs available to everyone.

I have made them available to all registered members.

Do I also make them available to all guests as well (i.e. anyone who visits this forum even if they have not registered an account for posting)?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 23, 2010, 05:58:50 PM
I wasn't clear what you'd set up, Mince. It looked to me as though even registered members were unable to access the songs.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 06:18:20 PM
No, you got it right, Roger.

At the moment, after and because of your instructions, registered members can access the songs, but guests (non-members) cannot. Is this how you want it, just for members? Or do you want ANYONE who comes here to be able to hear the songs?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 06:24:58 PM
I edited the post above.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 23, 2010, 07:16:31 PM
Mincey, these keep crashing my crappy old computer and I can only get about halfway through each song before it freezes up and I have to re-boot  >:( .   I tried to save them to the hard drive but it won't let me. If it's OK with Roger, can you email me the files? Cheers, Rob
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 23, 2010, 08:19:20 PM
I have emailed them to you.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Tom on September 23, 2010, 08:31:41 PM
I'm liking 'No One Knows' today. Kind of reminds me, in a random way, and in part, of the song 'Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)'
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 23, 2010, 09:59:19 PM
Mince, I'm quite happy for the songs to be available to everyone. As I said, at the moment, the format seems to be causing problems even for members.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 24, 2010, 01:19:52 AM
Thanks for emailing the files Mincey. Now, to borrow Simon Cowell's hat for a minute....

'No One Knows' is very catchy and I agree with Tom about 'Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)'. I'm trying to remember the name of the character who's supposed to be singing it. I've had to pack all my BP Albums away for a while so I can't look it up. I'm sure he's been in one of the strips - can you remind me Roger?(!)

'In My Time' is another very nice tune, although I can't pick out all the words cos it comes out a bit fuzzy on my 'puter. Strange, but I don't see Col.Escargot singing this. I always imagined him to sound like a typical crusty, old British army type - more of a doddery General Melchett from Black Adder Goes Forth. Now when I see Col.Escargot I'll have to give him the voice of Clive Dunn's Corporal Jones!

'Nomad'. I really like this one. I'm not sure about the women singers who want him to go mad for them is totally believeable though!  So, Mary from the dairy calls him her 'little milk sheik' <- .

'Ft.Despair' is a great song. Sgt Bidet (the only sane one in the Fort) sounds a bit like Charles Aznavour!  "For God's sake don't let the wife know I'm here; quick give me a beer" - is this the the first time we hear Beau speak?

I think these songs are very good and the more you listen to them the better they become. I wasn't sure about 'Nomad' first of all, but then I twigged that he was using a cheapo electric keyboard doing his 'finky JD' bit, and is supposed to sound cheesy. Now I love it!

Do we know who's singing them? Would I be right in guessing 'Nomad' is sung by Colin Tarrant? 

Well done to all concerned - I can't wait to hear some more.....
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 24, 2010, 09:43:56 AM
It's not Colin Tarrant, Rob. Everything is being done by a highly-regarded musical society from the North East of Scotland. As I said when I was first approached about this back in January, their last production got rave reviews from The Scotsman (Scotland's top broadsheet).
I'm glad that those of you who have heard the songs seem to share my opinion. I really, really like them.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Feather on September 24, 2010, 03:24:56 PM
I enjoyed them. I think I liked "Nomad" best.  I don't know much about Beau Peep (sorry, Roger and everyone), but I'm learning, and the songs helped.  :)
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on September 24, 2010, 03:55:08 PM
Well, I boogied on down with them. They're in the groove, and happening, man! Oh, yeah - right on - most definitely...
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 24, 2010, 06:00:38 PM
I laughed so much, I almost weed in my trousers.




(You can use that as a testimonial on the posters, Roger.)
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 24, 2010, 06:29:55 PM
I've just read the script for the first act, which covers those four songs, and it's really clever. It uses a lot of the strips from the early books within an overall storyline. An old foe of Colonel Escargot's (A new character called General Duvet, who sings No One Knows) is trying to get the fort shut down. It works really well and I'm looking forward to seeing how the whole project evolves.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 24, 2010, 08:34:11 PM
But ye didnae wee ye troosers?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 27, 2010, 10:26:07 PM
"Sorry, but you are not allowed to access the gallery"

I, of all people should be allowed to access the gallery as I wee my trousers quite regularly.

Diane
CBPFC
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 28, 2010, 08:43:47 AM
My fault, Diane. Your status as No 1 Member was misunderstood by the forum, which held that you were too important to have access.

Try now.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Vulture on September 28, 2010, 09:02:35 AM
My fault, Diane. Your status as No 1 Member was misunderstood by the forum, which held that you were too important to have access.

Try now.

Diane, there's a name for people like Mince - 'a sweet-talking b@st@ard'!  ;D
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Mince on September 28, 2010, 10:25:16 AM
'a sweet-talking b@st@ard'

What does the second @ stand for?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Vulture on September 28, 2010, 11:12:29 AM
It stands for 'how not to proofread'. Next question?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Fyodor on October 01, 2010, 10:29:40 AM
Last one sounds very Victoria Wood to me.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on October 01, 2010, 06:57:49 PM
Funnily enough, all her songs sound very Jake Thackeray to me! (For old site members only).
I meant to mention earlier that, according to the script, the backing singers on The Nomad track are...the vultures!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on October 01, 2010, 08:46:57 PM
They've got some neck!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diamond Lil on October 02, 2010, 07:18:57 AM
Finally caught up with this topic....

Thought the last one was very Victoria Wood and then found that Fyodor thought the same....spooky.  I had also frazzled my brain trying to think of the name of the guy who used to sing on Bernard Braden's show because there was a similarity there too.  Finally read through all the pages, only to find little bro had thrown Jake Thackray into the mix on the final page.  Brain cells having cooled down, I am happy to settle for the fact that whoever has been the inspiration.....I loved all of them.

Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on October 05, 2010, 05:29:34 PM
My fault, Diane. Your status as No 1 Member was misunderstood by the forum, which held that you were too important to have access.

Try now.

How about now.

"Sorry, but you are not allowed to access the gallery"
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on October 05, 2010, 06:42:12 PM
Are you in a foreign country?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on October 06, 2010, 04:53:21 AM
Sort of. I mean we do get Coronation Street and can buy Ovaltine.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 15, 2012, 12:12:45 AM
How about Horlicks?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 16, 2012, 07:55:06 PM
Latest Update:
The script is nearing completion and I have now heard around a dozen songs. I can report that it is coming along very nicely indeed. The latest snippet from Kenny (one of the composers) is that a West End producer is going to look at the whole thing when  it's all completed. Of course, this means nothing at the moment and Kenny has warned me not to get too excited about it.
I certainly didn't buy a tuxedo today.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 17, 2012, 03:29:24 AM
I certainly didn't buy a tuxedo today.

It's a small world - nor did I!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bilthehut on July 17, 2012, 01:36:56 PM
I certainly didn't buy a tuxedo today.

It's a small world - nor did I!

Already have one, but not sure if I still fit in it.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on July 23, 2012, 03:13:04 PM
I'm writing a review of the songs as they play in the background, as it's easier to keep the points fresh. Please don't get offended at my superior tone.

In My Time: There's a missed opportunity to filch a gag here. When the singer reminisces about how he could got to the shop with a few francs and come away with loads of stuff, maybe the blonde could be jettisoned in favour of a couple more valuable items. the punchline could be: "you couldn't do that these days - too many bloody security cameras"
The song is obviously a demo, played on a digital keyboard. In the actual performance, I think it could be started on a single instrument, perhaps played by a performer on stage (even a kids xylophone), but joined later by increasing instruments from the house band, building up to a crescendo. It's a great parody on an "Impossible Dream" type showstopper, it needs that big treatment. I like this song.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on July 23, 2012, 03:20:18 PM
The Nomad.
When it started, I hated it. By the end, I wanted a part in the show.
I think this song could be a huge club hit - it needs a pumping bass line, it needs speeding up a wee bit, the timing lags a fraction, and a studio tech could give some pointers as to what club FX could be filched, but I'm already hearing a sort of scratch DJ theme underlying it. The "Arabian" music sting that runs through it sounds like like a Chinese thing, but it could be that an Arabian pipe sound with that warble contribution would do the trick.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on July 23, 2012, 03:27:47 PM
Fort Despair.
Yep, loved it, I heard it as a Robbie Williams song, with the (formerly indolent) soldiers suddenly getting up to pull off an energetic dance routine, almost as a fantasy sequence. Maybe they were in formation and suddenly started their Bob Fosse stuff in the manner of that famous Monty Python army routine? Does need to be speeded up a tad.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 23, 2012, 03:38:53 PM
I don't usually like websites with music in the background, but this one I do: http://www.mongolia.co.uk/ (http://www.mongolia.co.uk/)

I often return to it just to get my fix of that tune...
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on July 23, 2012, 03:39:49 PM
No One Knows
This has the feel of that song in Jesus Christ Superstar where Herod lampoons Jesus. Which character is singing?
The song seems to have a sweet beginning, then changes to soft shoe number. Could there be a moment where the character strips off his gear to reveal a different costume underneath, before asking the other character to dance? I'm only working on instinct here, I have no idea what or who is in the scene. When the "I can't take it" sequence kicks in, I see a chorus line appear with the dance sequence starting with static toe-tap (think of the Zal Cleminson thing in Alex Harvey Band's "Delilah") before getting into a full blooded folies bergere job. Once again needs a tweak in timing - up a bit for the dance sequence.  Loved it.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 23, 2012, 03:55:35 PM
Alex Harvey. Now you're talking...

Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 23, 2012, 08:58:37 PM
Malc, some positive and welcome insights there and much appreciated. I'll try to get Kenny to comment.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on November 18, 2012, 06:51:06 PM
Bump.

What's the latest, regarding the Beau Peep musical?  ???
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 18, 2012, 07:25:55 PM
Apparently, the script/music has been sent to a producer in London who was intrigued by the concept.
Interesting...but I ain't holding my breath.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bog on November 19, 2012, 09:25:42 AM
I am not a music or musical bloke, I have a CD collection in single figures, it contains the Pet Shop Boys, the Communards, Frankie goes to Hollywood and Jimmy Summerville, my wife thinks there might just be a link between my selections but I cant see it. Oh and I have a Coldplay CD. With such a dreadful taste in music, I am a wee bit worried about commenting. I have been to all the big musicals, I work in the City of  London and my good lady loves musical theatre, I don't get the need to express yourself in song!  I fell asleep in Les Mis, I read a book in Miss Saigon, in Phantom I counted the seats, on Broadway I watched Aida with Mickey Dolenz and didn’t go back for the second half. My track record is pants. Is that a pun?

I liked these though! I'll be quiet now.

If it gets to the West End. I promise I will go, without a pencil, crossword, book or soduko!

Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 19, 2012, 09:56:41 AM
Bog, if it DOES get to the West End, I'll pay for your seat and bring a selection of games and books for you!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 20, 2012, 06:24:54 PM
I do hope it happens. Sometimes it takes a subject that's a bit quirky to take the world by storm.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bog on November 21, 2012, 03:28:25 PM
I really hope it gets to the West End then, Can I have the mousetrap game please Roger? I think that would be perfect to balance on my hat!
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Kenny Mac on November 23, 2012, 07:23:37 PM
Hello everyone.This is Kenny Macdonald (one of the poor demented souls that have taken it upon themseves to throw into the world "Beau Peep the Musical" I have been reading your comments with interest and WE (The other one is Fred)are completely gobsmacked with the interest this has caused with you lot.
I will keep you informed of any progress but at the moment we have/
1 completed the script
2 all songs for first act completed
3 ongoing work on second half songs (5 short of total completion)
Approached Judy Craymer(Mama Mia fame) Said she was very intrigued with the project but tied up with the new Spice Girls Musical Also Cameron Mckintosh to no avail.But early days.There are several ways we can go But never fear we will have this finished by next summer and IT SHALL GO ON
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 24, 2012, 09:41:58 AM
Thanks for dropping in withe update, Kenny.
Who are the Spice Girls?
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Kenny Mac on November 24, 2012, 10:23:59 AM
I think Dennis went out with Posh Spice and they got on very well if I recall. Like minded
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 24, 2012, 04:04:30 PM
Welcome Kenny Mac - I do hope you will be taking this musical on a world-wide tour with a stop in Alberta.  ;D
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Malc on November 24, 2012, 05:44:42 PM
I think I'm right in saying that  the Spice Girls were at one time called Bananarama. Then they decided to add a couple of members, plus invent themselves new identities to keep the action figure industry afloat. I believe the original names were Slapper Spice, Hairy Lezzo Spice, Stuck Up Bitch Spice, Frigid Spice and Tinky Winky.
Then Tinky Winky left, (due to management's concerns regarding body image), to form her own band. She was replaced by Minger Spice.

They've been around a long time, it was them who gave up their seats on the plane to Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Bilthehut on November 24, 2012, 11:35:06 PM
I think Dennis went out with Posh Spice and they got on very well if I recall. Like minded
;D
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 25, 2012, 10:29:24 AM
Roger - can you maybe get #beaupeep or #beaupeepthemusical trending on Twitter? That could arouse a lot of interest.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Roger Kettle on November 25, 2012, 02:33:21 PM
Now you're just being silly.
Title: Re: The Beau Peep musical---an update.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on November 25, 2012, 11:55:37 PM
Approached Judy Craymer(Mama Mia fame) Said she was very intrigued with the project but tied up with the new Spice Girls Musical Also Cameron Mckintosh to no avail.But early days.There are several ways we can go But never fear we will have this finished by next summer and IT SHALL GO ON

Never thought I'd live to see the day the words "Spice Girls" and "musical" were used in the same sentence.

Roger - can you maybe get #beaupeep or #beaupeepthemusical trending on Twitter? That could arouse a lot of interest.

Come on Peeps, not this bloody Twitter thing again. Is this some kind of ploy to drag all of us happy, content, antisocial technophobes, groaning into the 20-something century? Bah humbug.   >:(