Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Just a Fort => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on November 15, 2010, 09:30:50 PM
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Okay, the prize for this year's competition will be a one-off drawing of the winner's favourite Beau Peep character, personalised by the great man himself, Andrew Christine. So, if you win, and your favourite character is Mad Pierre, you'll receive a drawing of the masterchef with a personal season's greeting.
The competition format will appear in the next couple of days.
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Good grief Roger, Egon is the chef - this isn't looking too hopeful for making my christmas merry and bright.
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Darn it, Diane - I think you may have just won this year's competition.
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Um...yes...a deliberate mistake....just making sure you were on your toes.
Okay, I'm an idiot. Anyway, I'll put up the competition details soon.
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Right, I want a Christmas-themed limerick that features at least one of the characters from the strip. The winner will be announced around the beginning of December and the prize is as stated above. Ideally, the Peepmaster or Tarks will be the judge but, if neither is available, I will do the honours.
Good luck!
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I like these Christmas competitions. My entry is a slight embellishment on the limerick, because I couldn't fit what I wanted to say in five lines:
The fort had a new chef this year,
Who wanted to be known as Pierre.
Egon was put out
And started to shout
"GET THAT MAD MAN OUT OF HERE!"
Beau Peep wanted his Christmas lunch,
But Dennis had heard Egon's hunch
That to make a nice change
A new blend he'd arrange
Of a festive Brussels Sprouts punch.
Dennis walked into the kitchen
He knew he was there - he was itchin'
But he could not see
What was going to be
In the dinner that Egon was fixin'.
"These Brussels Sprouts don't look so good"
Thought Egon - convinced that they would,
"I'll mix them with pepper
"To make them taste better
"Before they go into the pud!"
There was an old chef called Egon,
Who dreamt of his own restaurant,
Disturbed was his sleep
By the one called Beau Peep
Shouting "SPROUTS, IN THE PUD? OH, COME ON!"
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Bugger it Tom that was good. No point me continuing to look for a word that will rhyme with bicycle now.
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;D ;D ;D
Well done, Tom!
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Thank you! :)
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Whilst xmas shopping, a fellow named Pratt
slipped in some camel doos, and fell flat.
A stall holder called Abdul
helped up the poor numbskull,
and sold him a load of old tat.
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There once was a fellow named Beau
Who lived his life on the slow-go.
He wallowed and wailed
And finally sailed
To a place in the world I don't know.
Beau joined the FFL
Thought the life would be swell.
The people he'd meet
Would make up for the heat.
But instead he just landed in Hell.
Beau knew he should somehow abhor this
His new-fangled metamorphosis
The camels they stunk,
And he knew he had shrunk
But at least he was away from that Doris.
*this by a person who does not know much at all about Beau Peep, but what the hell.
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;D thumbs up to all of them. 8)
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This reminds me of those limericks I did some time back. I shall certainly have a go at this as I excel at pottery.
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The troops were in fine fettle,
and in the canteen they did settle.
Egon's Xmas menu was read,
'Olde English Fayre', it said.
Which was true:- raw turnip and nettles.
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Rob so wins the prize for the biggest Last Line Wasted Opportunity Ever.
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There once was a wosname from down south somewhere
Who done summat someplace with wotsit
He wosnamed his thingy
Then went and done summat else
And his mate went and done summat too (apparently).
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Rob so wins the prize for the biggest Last Line Wasted Opportunity Ever.
Nope, I give up - give us a clue Tarqs.
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I'm getting into to this -- results not any good of course -- it gives me something to do in meetings at work. I suppose it's ok to do multiple entries?
When invited to light the advent candle,
Mad Pierre whacked poor Beau with a sandal.
He said with a smirk,
"Peep, you're a berk".
And Beau sobbed "you're a maniacal vandal".
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Rob so wins the prize for the biggest Last Line Wasted Opportunity Ever.
Nope, I give up - give us a clue Tarqs.
Surely there's something much better you can come up with to rhyme with "fettle" and "settle" than "nettles"? Think 'founder of the feast'!
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Gretel.
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But Egon doesn't rhyme with "fettle" ???
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Heavy "Metal"?
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OK, for what it's worth, another one..
Said Dennis, "This Christmas, I'm going on strike!"
"Because of that 20 mile hike?",
asked Beau, all concerned.
"No, you still haven't learned,
it's 'cos Christine won't draw me a bike."
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lol
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I'll have a think, but I'm rubbish at these type of things. Every year the Christmas competition involves being creative. Just once I'd like maybe a maths quiz. Or a "Make a game involving Roger stuck in his office" competition.
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I know what you mean Jack.
However I do have a limerick/beau peep story. I was sprung with being the "jokemaster" at Toastmasters as in - from the Toastmaster of the day, "While you are up there (I was general evaluator that day) you can do your joke" - and looking down seeing my name had been written in over the lady who didn't show who was supposed to do the joke. Well Tom's signature line of
"I once met a guy from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two"
popped into my head and thus the day was saved. ;D
Anyway I can't do limericks - not that I wouldn't or I shouldn't - just can't. I think I should get a prize for losing 77lbs this year.
There once was a peep named Di
Who lost 77lbs, that's no lie!
She rode on her bike
In shoes made by Nike
And said farewell to noodles and pie.
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Diane, that's absolutely brilliant. Congratulations! You are the official Beau Peep Slimmer Of The Year! Actually, make that Co-Slimmer Of The Year----our own Diamond Lil is looking great after a Summer of calorie-watching. Well done, ladies!
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Yes, well done Diane! And well done Diamond Lil!
Diane was the jokemaster that day,
But she was stuck for something to say,
What came to her
Was my signature
Which helped her a bit of the way!
And you so can do limericks! :)
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The thing about Colonel Escargot
Is his mind will undoubtedly fail
When the French fries are down
He will slither to town
Leaving nowt but a silvery trail.
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Diane, that's absolutely brilliant. Congratulations! You are the official Beau Peep Slimmer Of The Year! Actually, make that Co-Slimmer Of The Year----our own Diamond Lil is looking great after a Summer of calorie-watching. Well done, ladies!
Actually, fat birds don't bother me too much; not on forums, anyway.
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So nobody's going to comment on rhyming "bike" with "Nike"?
Perhaps this limerick thing is easier than I thought:
There once was a Sergeant called Bidet
And a fort - He lived inside it.
That doesn't rhyme,
But it isn't a crime,
Because Diane got away with it so why can't I?
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You don't know the half of it - they weren't even Nike brand, my shoes. :P
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Well done Diane! You are officially my hero (again) and the real Slimmer of the Forum as I've only lost 45 lbs and can't for the life of me think up any limericks...does anything rhyme with Saucony trainers? Not that it matters because I never win any of these things 'cos of some stupid "say no to nepotism" rule.
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TA-RA!
Okay, I'm not sure that any of you have grasped the concept of scansion in poetry but this year's winner---for sheer effort---is Tom.
Tom, send me a PM with your postal address and the name of the character you want Andrew to draw a one-off sketch for you. I can't guarantee when we'll get it off to you as the local Post Offices have been shut because of the snow but we'll do our best. Well done, mate.
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Diane and Diamond Lil - that's absolutley amazing - well done!
Right my final effort....
A new recruit (called Legonnaire Morris),
handed Beau a Christmas card, from Doris.
"Dennis, lets celebrate with gin",
said Beau, with a grin,
"She's run off with a cowboy called Horace"
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Oh carp. Too late. Well done Tom!
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Urm, thank you Rob - a fork lift truck eh? You sure know how to talk to the ladies.
That was a good but too late limeric. :D
Well done Tom! I would like to know which one of your entries was the winner.
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Urm, thank you Rob - a fork lift truck eh? You sure know how to talk to the ladies.
Even I thought that was a touch insensitive, Diane.
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Obviously the international subtleties of translation within my entry were lost on the judging panel, but well, done indeed anyway, Tom!
PS I thought I was going to be on that judging panel. I mean, just because I didn't drive 36 hours, in 53 foot snow drifts, to bring you a half bottle of gin, Roger, like some I could mention, doesn't mean I couldn't have been a valuable member of the team, especially with my O-level French. There's something of the England World Cup Bid about all of this. Sniff!
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Ooh! Well done me! :D
Thanks, everyone!
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Urm, thank you Rob - a fork lift truck eh? You sure know how to talk to the ladies.
Even I thought that was a touch insensitive, Diane.
I've re-read it and Peepsie is right. Sincere apologies ladies, I didn't mean it to come across as offensive. It's now deleted- regards, Rob
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Urm, thank you Rob - a fork lift truck eh? You sure know how to talk to the ladies.
Even I thought that was a touch insensitive, Diane.
I've re-read it and Peepsie is right. Sincere apologies ladies, I didn't mean it to come across as offensive. It's now deleted- regards, Rob
No, it was pretty funny. And at least you didn't mention how many sacks of potatos we had lost between us.
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I thought I had lost marbles as well as weight with all the references to forklift trucks....only to find at the end it had been deleted!
Well done Tom!...how does it feel to be voted Co-Co-Slimmer of the Year? :-*
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Urm, thank you Rob - a fork lift truck eh? You sure know how to talk to the ladies.
Even I thought that was a touch insensitive, Diane.
I've re-read it and Peepsie is right. Sincere apologies ladies, I didn't mean it to come across as offensive. It's now deleted- regards, Rob
No, it was pretty funny. And at least you didn't mention how many sacks of potatos we had lost between us.
No wonder you slimmed down if you managed to lose all your sacks of potatoes, Diane.
Rob - your for-lift comment was hilarious, especially with Diane's reply. I wasn't really offended. ..0
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Look - Roger's already done a strip about it!
http://comics.com/andy_capp/2010-12-02/ (http://comics.com/andy_capp/2010-12-02/)
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Just to let you know, that even through the snow, I've received the originals just in time for Christmas! Great stuff!
Many thanks, Roger and Andrew!
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Glad they arrived safely, Tom.