Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Zesty White on January 29, 2012, 02:12:30 PM
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I've just heard about Colin Tarrant's untimely death. I know that you and him were friends, Roger. Thinking of his friends and family.
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I'm still trying to take it in, Zesty. I've known about Colin's death for about an hour now and it's all just desperately sad. We spoke last month and all seemed well---he was planning a trip up to visit me with his partner and new son. I'm a bit numb.
Thanks for your thoughts.
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Sorry to hear about your friend's passing Roger.
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Oh, no, that's shocking news. I'm so sorry to hear this.
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That's awful news. I'm sorry to have heard this Roger.
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Sorry to hear the sad news about your friend, Roger.
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This is very sad news. I also give my deepest condolences.
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Anyone who passes away under 70 yrs of age dies young, to me. I've read the reports, and I'm sure that the death of someone who is so well known will be talked about for too long in the media anyway, but my thoughts are always with their nearest and dearest.
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Terribly sad news, really sorry for his family and friends.
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As I'm sure most of you know, Colin committed suicide. There is no point in trying to pretend otherwise. Having spoken to his partner, I now know the "reason" for his horrific decision which, of course, I won't go into here. They were wonderfully close. I can only say that there was absolutely no scandal or potential tabloid revelations involved. It's ridiculous to try and analyse situations like this rationally because, clearly, we're dealing with horribly irrational moments.
Colin and I had been friends for twenty years. Apart from all his impressive stage, film and TV performances, he was also the voice of Beau Peep in the animation project that never came to be. We had so many good times together, including a couple with Nige, The Peepmaster. Life can be a bugger.
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Not wanting to water down this thread with an irritating case of "me too" but yesterday here in Brisbane a fellow coach of mine took his own life. I had worked with him frequently, at our club and others and at schools. Last year the mother of a player in my team took her own life.
The emotion that most close friends and family feel on these occasions is anger. How COULD their loved one have left them like that?
I never try to persuade them out of that emotion, it's as healthy as any other when getting through the awful aftermath of a loved one's suicide. Mental illness is mostly invisible, some of the most talented, funny, bubbly and ostensibly cheerful people also suffer from mental illness, and many of those attempt suicide more than once.
The subject of depression and mental illness kickstarts feelings of anger in me too, especially when I hear people like Scientologists saying that medication and psychology/psychiatry are evil and that Scientology can counsel the problems away. Often medication is the ONLY chance for someone with severe depression, and even then, the most alert, conscientious and caring partner cannot always prevent the inevitable. It's a terrible life, not only for the sufferer but for anyone who loves them.
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Couldn't agree more, Malc.
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I recently heard ex-soccer star, Stan Collymore, talking in the wake of Gary Speed's death (which the coroner has now decided may possibly have been accidental), very openly and thoughtfully about his own depression, which he has suffered throughout his life. He addressed the issue of suicide, and the times he had considered it. Especially those who describe it, very understandably, as a selfish act, giving no thought to those who are "left behind".
His words were a revelation to me (I had previously taken the 'selfish act' view), and made so much sense. He said that to him it was a solution. Not just for him, but all those dear to him, whose lives he felt he had blighted through his illness, and that far from being a selfish act, suicide (at that moment, and with that moment's thought processes) was the answer to everyone's problems, least of all his own. Of course, that's not the way anyone else would see it, but it was a clear, obvious, dispassionate and selfless decision for him to make at that moment. And thankfully one he never took.
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In the end, no one can say what the person is going through. All are unique and the myriad of problems, issues and relationships, all add up to individual and personal situations. Some take that ultimate step, and others step back. No one can judge them, based on their own experiences or understanding.
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Found this poem online:
No one knew the torment,
that you were going through;
We only kept on seeing
What we really wanted to.
We saw the outward smile,
but not your inner pain;
We never really dreamt,
That you would never smile again.
Forgive us if we failed to see,
What we could do to aid;
Or if we failed to comprehend,
How much you were afraid.
We pray your mental anguish,
Will now forever cease;
And that your deep anxieties,
Will be replaced by peace.
We know your pain invaded,
Every single thought you had;
It made you cry internally,
And deeply, deeply sad.
But we in turn remember,
The good times, not the bad;
We remember when you smiled at us,
And not when you were sad.
So when we think about your life,
We won't dwell upon its close;
We'll remember all the good times,
And forget about life's blows.
We'll remember all the happiness,
The joy and not the tears;
The assurance and the confidence,
And not irrational fears.
Our lives have all been better,
Because you have been there;
So now we leave your memory,
In God's all-loving care.
(c) 2008 Dick Underwood
remembrance-book.com
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I've pretty much moved past the shock/horror of it all and am concentrating on the laughter and the beer. My wife and I are going to the funeral in Bristol next week. There is to be some sort of "wake" afterwards where happy tales are to be told. I think I'll leave all that to the actor types who'll be there....
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One aspect of being an actor (and a successful one) is that there will be editors queuing up to put together a fitting film tribute. Expect an all-bells-and-whistles musical and visual tribute that will knock your socks off, with Colin's earliest screen appearances slo-mo, and loads of tearjerk moments.
Followed by "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" and a pissup to remember.
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Roger. Very hard to get over the shock of something like this. Big hugs. xxx
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Just to put closure on this, my wife and I attended Colin's funeral in Bristol yesterday and it was a remarkable day. His son, Juma, at 24 years old, produced the funniest, most moving, most composed eulogy I have ever heard---all this in front of an attendance of hundreds, including countless actors and actresses. It was an emotional, yet uplifting experience.
I will miss picking up the phone and hearing the words "Rog, it's Col" in a Derbyshire accent. This was always followed by a half hour discussion about football, books we'd been reading and politics (he was a proud and passionate socialist). Ah, bugger.
Okay, that's it.
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:)
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:)
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Ah, bugger. :-\
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How did the two of you meet?
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The Daily Star used to have annual award bashes in London where members of the public were recognised for acts of bravery etc. Andrew and I were always invited down to them and, as is common with this sort of thing, they are awash with celebrities. I just so happened to be seated next to Colin at one such do 20 years ago and we struck up an immediate friendship. Margaret Thatcher was the guest of honour that day and we...um... shared a similar opinion of her qualities. After that, we just kept in touch. Colin came to stay with my family on numerous occasions and I would meet up with him in London when I was there on business or pop down to see him in a play somewhere.
Fond memories.
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If we're sharing memories, I have one of my own. Thanks to Colin, I was featured on Page 3 of The Sun many years ago...fully-clothed, I have to add. Colin and Juma stayed with me when I was running a hotel in Killin and he asked that a large amount of money be kept in the safe. It was a computerised one which hadn't worked since I had taken over but as there were so few staff around, I never gave it another thought. Unfortunately, someone removed it and the police were called. As Colin was starring in "The Bill" at that time, the press got hold of it (how?) and a reporter phoned me as he thought it amusing that "Inspector Munro" would himself have been robbed. I had a total loss of sense of humour, upset as I was that it had happened to our friend. The interview didn't go well and at some point I uttered the immortal words, "no wonder you're known as gutter press." I well remember the appalled silence from my brother when I repeated this to Roger...eventually he managed to gasp, "you actually said that?" Next morning a prominent article appeared on Page 3 under the heading "Bungling hotel manager leads to loss of money for The Bill's Inspector Munro."
Fond memories indeed of a great man.
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Did Colin have to claim on the hotel's insurance? Yes, the story was interesting and funny but I'm a great one for the nitty gritty.
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I paid Colin at once with my own money and then waited (and waited) for the owners to make the claim and reimburse me.
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So you've got a few bob, then? I think you're very attractive.
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So you've got a few bob, then? I think you're very attractive.
This really isn't the sort of thread to pull birds on... ..0
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;D
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Just as things start to look interesting, up pops the Board Moderator ..0
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He's just trying to muscle in on Malc's overture.
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No, I'm not trying to cramp Malc's style, I'm just saying, (as I also explained to him as the police were escorting him off this island last year), that there's a right, and a wrong time and place for everything.
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If I'm being propositioned, there ain't no such thing as a right or wrong time. I hadn't even got the chance to further impress with my wealth in the form of a state pension. Thanks a bunch, Peeps
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Yeah, way to, like, bogart the joint, man... :(
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As a great and wise sage once said "I've pretty much moved past the shock/horror of it all and am concentrating on the laughter and the beer." ;)