Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on August 16, 2012, 11:05:25 PM

Title: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 16, 2012, 11:05:25 PM
According to the news today, one in five adults in the UK has a tattoo. At one time, I considered having the Battle of the Little Bighorn etched on my left buttock but decided against it in the end. My skin is ink-free.
So who's got a tattoo out there and can we see it?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on August 16, 2012, 11:57:22 PM
Mine only has ink from a faulty pen.  Not worth the picture.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on August 17, 2012, 01:01:59 AM
I have two tattoos.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 17, 2012, 09:14:37 AM
Of what, Vulch?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on August 17, 2012, 11:47:07 AM
Of what, Vulch?

Top of right arm: a sun, outline in black with the central orb yellowy-orange and the rays filled in with red, yellow and orange. (Unfortunately, apart from the odd speckle of red, the other colours seem to have disappeared. I might see if I can get the colours filled in again.)

Top of left arm: a lion, vaguely heraldic in style, the colours matching the originals of the sun and still seem to be holding.

I had the sun done in celebration of my first transatlantic flight in 2001, when went to see my daughter in Toronto, and the lion was a birthday present from son Number 1, in 2002.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 17, 2012, 02:04:45 PM
According to the news today, one in five adults in the UK has a tattoo. At one time, I considered having the Battle of the Little Bighorn etched on my left buttock but decided against it in the end. My skin is ink-free.
So who's got a tattoo out there and can we see it?

I almost got all the battle scenes from Upper Canada tattooed on my butt from the War of 1812, but then the war dragged on to 1814 and even I don't have a butt that big.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 17, 2012, 02:06:34 PM
I watched the movie Larry Crown last night (Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts) – it was not really worth seeing but at least I got to see it free as it was a loan from the library.

In one scene a young lady shows her tattoos and says they are Japanese symbols meaning “spirit” and “courage”; Tom Hanks said no, they are Chinese symbols saying “Soy Sauce”.

This is why I never bought a pair of cool looking black work out pants for tai chi with white symbols written down the leg – I fear they would say “silly fat cow” in Japanese.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 17, 2012, 02:08:45 PM
Of what, Vulch?

Top of right arm: a sun, outline in black with the central orb yellowy-orange and the rays filled in with red, yellow and orange. (Unfortunately, apart from the odd speckle of red, the other colours seem to have disappeared. I might see if I can get the colours filled in again.)

Top of left arm: a lion, vaguely heraldic in style, the colours matching the originals of the sun and still seem to be holding.

I had the sun done in celebration of my first transatlantic flight in 2001, when went to see my daughter in Toronto, and the lion was a birthday present from son Number 1, in 2002.

Wow, it is always the quiet ones isn't it.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 17, 2012, 06:43:53 PM
Diane, I love these stories where people think they're having some kind of philosophical Chinese proverb tattooed on their back and it turns out to be Cantonese for "pencil-sharpener".
I don't have anything against tattoos as such---some of them are quite tasteful (the ones described by Vulture, for example). I just never fancied the process of having inky needles stuck in my skin. I used to faint when applying the stick-on ones.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on August 17, 2012, 06:49:26 PM
Diane, I love these stories where people think they're having some kind of philosophical Chinese proverb tattooed on their back and it turns out to be Cantonese for "pencil-sharpener".
I don't have anything against tattoos as such---some of them are quite tasteful (the ones described by Vulture, for example). I just never fancied the process of having inky needles stuck in my skin. I used to faint when applying the stick-on ones.

 ;D ;D ;D

Did you used to spit on the transfer, or were you posh and use tap water?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 17, 2012, 07:44:01 PM
Perrier.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on August 17, 2012, 07:49:50 PM
Had Perrier been invented in those days?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 17, 2012, 08:55:59 PM
Perrier water was first sold in 1898. (Leaves space for jokes....)
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 17, 2012, 10:53:16 PM
Just out of curiosity Roger, do you also “smoke” chocolate ciggies?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Malc on August 18, 2012, 03:02:35 PM
I'll be in the UK in a couple of weeks (yes, again) and a month or so later my sons are coming over too. My big plan is to go to a Glasgow tattoo artist and get us all done in the same day with tatts. One each, my treat.
The tattoo artist is my niece, she's never met us and I'm not going to reveal she is "doing" her relatives until afterwards.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on August 18, 2012, 07:26:07 PM
I'm moving house so cannot take you up on your kind offer of a free tat.  Too far to travel.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 22, 2012, 11:37:48 AM
I had two circles tattooed on each buttock recently, to recreate the Olympic logo.

As a kid, I remember going to fairgrounds and seeing tents offering the chance to gaze in awe at "the tattooed lady"!

Today, it's a surprise to find one that hasn't been unnaturally decorated in this way.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Mince on August 23, 2012, 09:39:29 PM
You can get loads of Star Wars tattoos on Tatooine. :)













I'll get my coat.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Jack on August 23, 2012, 11:21:34 PM
I have no tattoos.

Thus ends yet another worthwhile addition to a topic.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Malc on August 24, 2012, 03:10:11 PM
I sent my niece a query, asking about prices and availability under an assumed name. For some reason she knew it was me straight away, and replied to Uncle Malc. How embarrassing.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 24, 2012, 04:35:08 PM
I sent my niece a query, asking about prices and availability under an assumed name. For some reason she knew it was me straight away, and replied to Uncle Malc. How embarrassing.

Maybe it was the request for a tattoo of the McGookin coat of arms that gave you away?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Mince on August 24, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Or maybe it was a spy.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Malc on August 25, 2012, 10:44:41 AM
Why would I want a tattoo of a spy? If I may be Blunt.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on August 26, 2012, 10:35:40 AM
You have to follow the tattooist instructions to ensure the tattoo becomes 'bond'ed to you.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Egg on August 28, 2012, 11:11:38 AM
No tattoos, just a few battle scars!...........OK not exactly battle scars. Trying out new trainers as a 6 year old to
see how fast they were......went arse over tit, bleeding knees, scars!
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 28, 2012, 06:23:13 PM
...went arse over tit

Tut, tut. We prefer, "arse over Mince" on here, thank you.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 01, 2012, 07:30:07 PM
From October 1981:
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk284/nomad2010/tatoos1.jpg)
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk284/nomad2010/tatoos2.jpg)
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 01, 2012, 08:02:38 PM
31 years ago. Dear Lord.
Anyway, good to hear from you again, Rob, and thanks for that trip down Memory Lane. You've not been away in Sao Rafael, have you? I'm off there in a month or so.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 01, 2012, 08:24:02 PM
31 years ago. Dear Lord.
Anyway, good to hear from you again, Rob, and thanks for that trip down Memory Lane. You've not been away in Sao Rafael, have you? I'm off there in a month or so.
Nah, unfortunately not (though I did go to Praia de Luz earlier in the year). I've been doing rather a lot of boring DIY in the new house..
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 01, 2012, 08:28:45 PM
More tattoo-related shenanigans from January 1996.  I particularly like strip 5..
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk284/nomad2010/tatoo19961.jpg)
(http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk284/nomad2010/tatoo19962.jpg)
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on September 01, 2012, 08:37:17 PM
Those strips from 1981 are just as funny today. They will be just as funny a 100 years from now. I guess that makes you a classic humourist Roger.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Rob Baker on September 01, 2012, 08:37:46 PM
And one from September 1997.
 (http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk284/nomad2010/tatooiluvmince.jpg)
With a certain love/hate relationship widely recorded on these forums, I think the Peepmaster could easily substitute here for Egon.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 01, 2012, 11:18:33 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Jack on September 03, 2012, 02:19:58 AM
What Bill said.  ;D
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 03, 2012, 06:17:36 PM
What William the Shed went and done.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 10, 2012, 09:49:26 PM
May i jump in late on this topic and attempt to kick start it again ??  I have one "tatt" at present, a lovely upper arm hooded grim reaper with evil eyes, surrounded by a band of skulls interlaced with thorns.   The reality is Mr Reaper looks like a ned with a hoody whose eyes look like fried eggs because i wanted them yellow !!  Stupid tattoo man said they should be red.......what did he know ?? I showed him  !!   So i guess the moral of this story is....dont fear the Reaper, for when its your time and he comes for you, chances are he'll bring breakfast with him !! :o
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Mince on September 10, 2012, 09:58:13 PM
Sandy, do you see this ---> .

It's called a full stop. Perhaps you have not seen one before, but they are useful for ending sentences with.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 10, 2012, 11:03:26 PM
Sandy, do you see this ---> .

It's called a full stop. Perhaps you have not seen one before, but they are useful for ending sentences with.

Please  Please Can I have one ?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 11, 2012, 12:01:02 AM
If you look carefully you'll see lots of them in non-standard formation. Put them where you think best.
Here's some spares in case you run out.

....................................................................................
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on September 11, 2012, 06:54:37 AM
If you look carefully you'll see lots of them in non-standard formation. Put them where you think best.
Here's some spares in case you run out.

....................................................................................


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 11, 2012, 12:17:35 PM
If you look carefully you'll see lots of them in non-standard formation. Put them where you think best.
Here's some spares in case you run out.

....................................................................................

Them being so small, you would not notice the pain where I would put them.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 12, 2012, 02:50:33 PM
No idea why Mince thinks full stops should be red.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 12, 2012, 04:08:15 PM
No idea why Mince thinks full stops should be red.
That's because he tore it, bloody and raw, out of ------- No, mustn't go there.  Bad Billy.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Mince on September 12, 2012, 07:04:02 PM
Out of ...? Tell us. Go on, tell us. Is it a secret? Is it the secret of eternal life?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 12, 2012, 07:17:56 PM
Clearly Mince was trying to show just how angry he was at my poor use of a small yet important part of the english language through the medium of mood related colour.

Or he likes red.

(how am i doing with the full stops ??  I used two in the above and feel very grown up now !).  <-----   and one here, so thats three.  Damn, now thats four
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 12, 2012, 07:25:21 PM
Careful there, Sandi.  Mince will point out the lack of a 'stop' there.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 12, 2012, 07:36:13 PM
I had to do it. I was going into a never ending loop. I'm trying to work out a way to draw his attention elsewhere so i can sneak a few "blanks" in !!

mwah ha ha    (evil type laugh)    ;D
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 12, 2012, 10:45:46 PM
Incoming!



                                                                             
.                                                        .



-
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 12, 2012, 11:55:52 PM
I like the racing midges !   How do you train them ??   I can't get mine to move at all !

..

see !!
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 13, 2012, 05:47:20 AM
Go the whole hog and do it with an ellipsis.

...
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2012, 07:33:03 AM
Wow those ellipses are fast !  They sure beat the midges, how do you train them ?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 13, 2012, 10:35:34 AM
It's even better with seahorses.

        ?         ?        ?
                     ?              ?           ?

Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 13, 2012, 11:13:52 AM
Wow those ellipses are fast !  They sure beat the midges, how do you train them ?

???s??? ???l ???? u???? ?M
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Egg on September 13, 2012, 12:15:03 PM
0 0 0 0 0 0


Had these eggs in training a while!
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2012, 05:25:03 PM
Now thats just showing off guys !! 

Here i am, a newbie to the site and already i feel inadequate (not that i didnt expect to, i just didnt realise it would happen so soon !!)

 >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(


Wonder if Hagar the Horrible has a fans forum  ??
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on September 13, 2012, 05:35:41 PM



Wonder if Hagar the Horrible has a fans forum  ??

Let me know if there is a Hagar forum - I think he's brill!
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2012, 05:39:08 PM
I'm sure he's Viking.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on September 13, 2012, 06:19:06 PM
I'm sure he's Viking.

You've answered your own query - if 'brill' had been a nationality, it would have started with a capital letter, just like 'Viking'!
 :-*
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2012, 06:24:36 PM
I'm sure he's Viking.

You've answered your own query - if 'brill' had been a nationality, it would have started with a capital letter, just like 'Viking'!
 :-*

so using your logic, "You've" is a nationality ??    ???
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Vulture on September 13, 2012, 09:03:52 PM
I'm sure he's Viking.

You've answered your own query - if 'brill' had been a nationality, it would have started with a capital letter, just like 'Viking'!
 :-*

so using your logic, "You've" is a nationality ??    ???



No, using my memory from school:  ALL sentences must begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop OR a question mark OR an exclamation mark. [erm... English IS still the spoken/written language of this country, isn't it?]

Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 13, 2012, 11:17:33 PM
Up here, it's more normal for a sentence to begin with a jury saying "Guilty". 

Thank you for the telling off though.

 :-[
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 14, 2012, 09:19:08 AM
 ;D I like the "guilty" line, Mr. Buttcheeks.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Mince on September 14, 2012, 11:16:40 AM
I have been on this board for years, and I have never had a laughy face from Roger. Sandy CheekyButt has been here for little over a week .....

Bloody annoying upstart!

Hold me back! I'm gonna ban him! >:(
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Roger Kettle on September 14, 2012, 01:30:35 PM
 ;D There you go.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 14, 2012, 05:09:37 PM
Oh aye !!  Nice one Mince.  There i was riding high with the praise of a demi-god, the one and only Mr Roger Kettle (notice the respect with the use of "Mr"), when along comes petulance personified, and cheapens my award with a " he got one so i want one too...i've been here for years.....blah dee blah dee blah !! Well enjoy.  If your happy enough with how you came to get your smiley from Mr Roger Kettle, (underlined this time too), then whoppee doo for you.

I'm not a bitter man, congratulations.

Swine

 >:(
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 14, 2012, 05:45:45 PM
If your happy enough with how you came to get your smiley from Mr Roger Kettle, (underlined this time too), then whoppee doo for you.

Unless Mince has a 'happy', methinks it should be you're

 :P
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: The Peepmaster on September 14, 2012, 08:24:41 PM
Shed-features is right. It should be "you're".

Mincykins is quite particular about grammar, even though he makes countless errors himself.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 08:54:09 AM
Consider me chastised. I did have a proofreader, but had him shit (that should of course read "shot") after early posting mistakes. I now have to check my own and fear i am in the lions dung (that should be "den") as regards my ability under such meticulous chicken ("checking"  dammit !!)

Will try whorder in future.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 15, 2012, 10:18:33 AM

Will try whorder in future.

The name's 'Bill'.  And what's this 'whorder' I should try?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 10:54:36 AM
Too late, it's in the past now.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 15, 2012, 11:12:34 AM





Whoosh ---------
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 01:09:00 PM
I am going to learn how to do those, and when i do...

Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 15, 2012, 01:59:16 PM
You cannot be serious?
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 02:35:18 PM
No
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 15, 2012, 04:25:13 PM
Phew.  For a moment, I thought we had another numpty on the forum.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 05:03:59 PM
Not yet...but i do still have my aspirations !!
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 15, 2012, 10:35:19 PM
You can get an inhaler for that.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on September 15, 2012, 11:50:52 PM
Tried them, but they dont seem to dissolve too well in a glass of water.
Title: Re: Tattoos.
Post by: Bilthehut on September 16, 2012, 12:03:11 AM
Nope.  Can't think of any witty reply. Too tired.