Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on September 15, 2012, 09:43:01 PM
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I'm reading a book just now by Jeremy Vine, in which he mentions a quote by another correspondent. "Goverments are like nappies---they need changing regularly and for the same reasons". Class.
I've mentioned before that one of my favourite quotes is Woody Allen's "If it wasn't for airport searches, I wouldn't have a sex life at all".
Time for a few more. Take it away....
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My favourite, especially relevant when hearing politicians spouting forth, concerns statistics.
Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is enticing, but what they conceal is vital.
Ta-dah!
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The Groucho Marx line "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member" always makes me grin. ;D See !
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In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life. [George Best]
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I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet, sweet beer [Homer Simpson]
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. [Henry Youngman]
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.....I'm reading a book just now.....
I've always wondered about this Scottish 'just now' phrase.
In England (or at least in the town where I was brung up) we would say something like 'I ate an apple* just now', meaning 'I ate an apple within the last 5 minutes or so'. In other words, something that happened in the recent past. I think the Scottish 'just now' means, actually, (to non Scots) 'at the moment'.
Language/dialect is fascinating.
[* Of course, if you don't like apples, substitute this phrase with banana. Or current bun. Or anything, really -- it doesn't really affect the sentiment of the question].
Mince, I believe you're a teacher, what do you think?
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I'm having trouble enough with Sandy at the moment. You can sort out Roger.
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As a literary critic....
"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." The great Dorothy Parker.
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As a literary critic....
"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." The great Dorothy Parker.
:D
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I'm having trouble enough with Sandy at the moment. You can sort out Roger.
Mince, several hours ago.
My new favourite quote.
;D
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Forgot about this one.
"Ouch !" (King Harold, 1066).
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.
Bill Murray
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The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps.
Eddie Izzard
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
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On the recent cabinet reshuffle:
"It's like a shit shitting on a shit to cover up the fact it's a shit!"
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
My kind of humour. Is there something wrong with me ? :-\
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
My kind of humour. Is there something wrong with me ? :-\
Yes. Humour has nothing to do with it.
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
My kind of humour. Is there something wrong with me ? :-\
Yes. Humour has nothing to do with it.
Thank you Mr.Outhouse. I accept praise wherever it may be from. ;D
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
My kind of humour. Is there something wrong with me ? :-\
Yes. Humour has nothing to do with it.
Made me laugh......does that mean I'm Scottish. :-\
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From the Diary of Anne Frank:
Day 1 - Hid!
Day 2 - Hid!
My kind of humour. Is there something wrong with me ? :-\
Yes. Humour has nothing to do with it.
Made me laugh......does that mean I'm Scottish. :-\
It made me laugh too, and I'm a Liverpudlian (well, it's half-way to Scotland...).
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I saw Madonna being described as " looking like something you'd boil up to make soup from".
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You'd need a lot of tabasco to make that palatable.
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I saw Madonna being described as " looking like something you'd boil up to make soup from".
Phew, read that initially as Maradonna and thought, "That's a bit harsh !" . I know he's no picture-postcard either, but he's still a hero up here.
(Is that the rumble of a backlash I hear ?)
:P
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I saw Madonna being described as " looking like something you'd boil up to make soup from".
Phew, read that initially as Maradonna and thought, "That's a bit harsh !" . I know he's no picture-postcard either, but he's still a hero up here.
(Is that the rumble of a backlash I hear ?)
:P
A. Not interested in Football.
B. One has to have a hero in a sport where your team can't make it to the competition.
oops.
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I saw Madonna being described as " looking like something you'd boil up to make soup from".
Phew, read that initially as Maradonna and thought, "That's a bit harsh !" . I know he's no picture-postcard either, but he's still a hero up here.
(Is that the rumble of a backlash I hear ?)
:P
A. Not interested in Football.
B. One has to have a hero in a sport where your team can't make it to the competition.
oops.
Hah ! Never been to competitions, only massacres. Hah again ! Altogether now, "We're on the march wae Ally's aaaaarrrrmmmyyyyyy..."
;D ;D ;D
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An 'absent member' returns... (sorry for the absence but personal health life got in the road..)
Favourite 'quote' today courtesy of the News Quiz on BBC 4 radio (yes I am that listener of R4!)-
'do you know that 'Kate Middleton' is an anagram of 'naked t*t model'
OK so I've maybe lowered the tone and I apologise, also I am useless at anagrams so haven't checked if it is actually true.
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Hope you're better Jerry - you must have been really sick not to be able to tap away at a keyboard.
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An 'absent member' returns... (sorry for the absence but personal health life got in the road..)
Favourite 'quote' today courtesy of the News Quiz on BBC 4 radio (yes I am that listener of R4!)-
'do you know that 'Kate Middleton' is an anagram of 'naked t*t model'
OK so I've maybe lowered the tone and I apologise, also I am useless at anagrams so haven't checked if it is actually true.
There isn't a '*' in 'Kate Middleton'.
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An 'absent member' returns... (sorry for the absence but personal health life got in the road..)
Favourite 'quote' today courtesy of the News Quiz on BBC 4 radio (yes I am that listener of R4!)-
'do you know that 'Kate Middleton' is an anagram of 'naked t*t model'
OK so I've maybe lowered the tone and I apologise, also I am useless at anagrams so haven't checked if it is actually true.
There isn't a '*' in 'Kate Middleton'.
;D
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An 'absent member' returns... (sorry for the absence but personal health life got in the road..)
Favourite 'quote' today courtesy of the News Quiz on BBC 4 radio (yes I am that listener of R4!)-
'do you know that 'Kate Middleton' is an anagram of 'naked t*t model'
OK so I've maybe lowered the tone and I apologise, also I am useless at anagrams so haven't checked if it is actually true.
There isn't a '*' in 'Kate Middleton'.
;D
They've had to lower case the capitals too. Bit of an ill-conceived anagram if you ask me. You really do expect better of radio four...or "fair odour" as they should be known after that poor attempt.
>:(
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Iron
An 'absent member' returns... (sorry for the absence but personal health life got in the road..)
Favourite 'quote' today courtesy of the News Quiz on BBC 4 radio (yes I am that listener of R4!)-
'do you know that 'Kate Middleton' is an anagram of 'naked t*t model'
OK so I've maybe lowered the tone and I apologise, also I am useless at anagrams so haven't checked if it is actually true.
There isn't a '*' in 'Kate Middleton'.
;D
They've had to lower case the capitals too. Bit of an ill-conceived anagram if you ask me. You really do expect better of radio four...or "fair odour" as they should be known after that poor attempt.
>:(
Oh the irony.......did anyone think of that before she got 'em out! :P
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Sandy Buttcheeks is an anagram of Asked By The C*nts.
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The point of this crude anagram is what, exactly?
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The point of this crude anagram is what, exactly?
No point - he's just bored! ..0
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;D
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The point of this crude anagram is what, exactly?
That's just a full stop at the end - it's not part of the anagram.
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I told you - bored!
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Sandy Buttcheeks is an anagram of Asked By The C*nts.
Wow. This forum is just a constant stream of abuse. How many posts do you have to make before you canconsider returning the compliments ?
Regards
Mr A. B-T C*nts
(This is still about my smileys from Mr Kettle, isn't it ?)
..0
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat. If you had a brain you'd look back through past posts and see there have been at least twelve posts without any animosity whatsoever.
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat. If you had a brain you'd look back through past posts and see there have been at least twelve posts without any animosity whatsoever.
This is an anagram of "we love Sandy really" (with a few spare letters admittedly).
Thank you Mr Peepmaster. I feel all warm and happy now.
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat. If you had a brain you'd look back through past posts and see there have been at least twelve posts without any animosity whatsoever.
This is an anagram of "we love Sandy really" (with a few spare letters admittedly).
Thank you Mr Peepmaster. I feel all warm and happy now.
The 'warm and happy' feeling is an indication that your nappy needs changing!
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat. If you had a brain you'd look back through past posts and see there have been at least twelve posts without any animosity whatsoever.
This is an anagram of "we love Sandy really" (with a few spare letters admittedly).
Thank you Mr Peepmaster. I feel all warm and happy now.
The 'warm and happy' feeling is an indication that your nappy needs changing!
Or brain. Mince swopped his with a plankter.
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat. If you had a brain you'd look back through past posts and see there have been at least twelve posts without any animosity whatsoever.
This is an anagram of "we love Sandy really" (with a few spare letters admittedly).
Thank you Mr Peepmaster. I feel all warm and happy now.
The 'warm and happy' feeling is an indication that your nappy needs changing!
Or brain. Mince swopped his with a plankter.
Great swap. It'll always have lots of space to swim about in.
Must dash, got that warm and happy feeling again. <-
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat.
Funniest comment on this board for a long time. ;D
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat.
Funniest comment on this board for a long time. ;D
Are you feeling okay there, Mince? You've complimented Peepsie.
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It's not all abuse, you stupid twat.
Funniest comment on this board for a long time. ;D
Are you feeling okay there, Mince? You've complimented Peepsie.
It'll throw him off balance.
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
Well, I get the sentiment, but what does it mean?
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
Well, I get the sentiment, but what does it mean?
Someone who lays wooden floors ? :-\
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
Well, I get the sentiment, but what does it mean?
Someone who lays wooden floors ? :-\
'Lays' as in . . . biblical?
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It's the singular for plankton, apparently.
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
Well, I get the sentiment, but what does it mean?
Someone who lays wooden floors ? :-\
'Lays' as in . . . biblical?
Maybe not in the true biblical wink-wink nudge-nudge sense, but I'm sure there's a bit in it somewhere where Moses says something like " Zipporah, be a love and go forth and find a me a plankter. This ark could do with a half-decent floor. I forgot we were bringing elephants too."
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I think I'm the only person to have used the word "plankter" on this forum, in all the years it's been running.
Well, I get the sentiment, but what does it mean?
Someone who lays wooden floors ? :-\
'Lays' as in . . . biblical?
Maybe not in the true biblical wink-wink nudge-nudge sense, but I'm sure there's a bit in it somewhere where Moses says something like " Zipporah, be a love and go forth and find a me a plankter. This ark could do with a half-decent floor. I forgot we were bringing elephants too."
;D
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It's the singular for plankton, apparently.
What's the singular for skirt-wearing loons?
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It's the singular for plankton, apparently.
What's the singular for skirt-wearing loons?
Skirt-wearing loon ?
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Oh, I thought it was Peepmaster.
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So we were both correct then ?
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Is there some reason why you put a space before your question marks? Is it some kind of tension build-up thing?
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Is there some reason why you put a space before your question marks? Is it some kind of tension build-up thing?
;D
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Is there some reason why you put a space before your question marks? Is it some kind of tension build-up thing?
Yes. It's pre-Mince-trual tension. Specifically designed to eventually annoy Mince.
Is that okay ?
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Is there some reason why you put a space before your question marks? Is it some kind of tension build-up thing?
Ye s.