Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on November 24, 2012, 09:30:48 PM
-
I'd forgotten all about the Christmas competition. Okay, the prize will be the usual couple of originals (Beau and Horace) and a crisp Scottish tenner. Mince, do you want to set the competition this year? If you haven't stepped in by tomorrow night, I'll come up with something.
-
I'd have thought finding a crisp Scottish tenner was competition enough.
-
Tut tut, you Philistine. Your ears prick up at the mention on hard cash, but you ignore the offer of 2 truly amazing original works of art.
I mean, what are they going to be worth? :)
-
I am no good at Christmas competitions, but here goes.
Imagine that Roger woke up to find himself in the world of Beau Peep, either with everyone being real in a fictional place or with everyone in the cartoon strip. What would happen? You can submit your entry in the form of a short story, poem, dance, comic strip or moment of flatulence. It has to involve a brussel sprout, but please nothing about where it can be shoved.
-
Okay, to allow time to get the prize to the winner by Christmas, you've got a week----it closes next Sunday at midday. Mince will judge the competition and decide the winner.
Good luck.
-
Roger fell asleep
And woke in the land of Beau Peep
Dennis bowed to his god,
Said, I’m still bike-less, you sod
And then he began to weep.
Mr Kettle patted Dennis’s head
Don’t fret! I’ve another gift for you instead
Dug around in his pockets and what should he pull out,
But some gum, a yoyo and a fine Brussels sprout!
Merry Christmas, dear chap Roger said.
-
You are welcome to put that in the Musical too if you like.
-
Diane wins.
-
I knew I shouldn't have wasted time figuring out how to upload a "moment of flatulence".
-
Mince is only joking about my brilliant entry winning; of course more entries will be accepted right up until the cut off noon GMT on the 2nd.
Rhyme and toot on!
-
Is the brussel sprout real or fictional? I'm confused. :'(
-
Tut tut, you Philistine. Your ears prick up at the mention on hard cash, but you ignore the offer of 2 truly amazing original works of art.
I mean, what are they going to be worth? :)
Who cares? There's a tenner on offer. I had one of those once before I got married and it'd be great to see another. Are they still legal tender?
-
Mince is only joking about my brilliant entry winning; of course more entries will be accepted right up until the cut off noon GMT on the 2nd.
Rhyme and toot on!
You're scuppering my carefully constructed cover-story crafted to conceal the fact that I have no ideas.
However, I am enlisting aid to bolster my "toot"-based entry, in the form of some lovely bubbly ginger ale. I sure do love ginger ale. It's possible that ginger ale is the finest beverage of all time. I sincerely doubt that anybody in here prefers any other drink to the delights of ginger ale.
-
Jack, you are so correct. I often indulge in that most superior tipple as I sit back, staring at my favourite bunny shaped clouds (what do you mean that's not your favourite shaped cloud...can there be any better?), and wondering if there is any longer word than antidisestablishmentarianism, and how to get it to rhyme. Ah the mysteries you ponder whilst full of ginger ale.
-
Jack, you are so correct. I often indulge in that most superior tipple as I sit back, staring at my favourite bunny shaped clouds (what do you mean that's not your favourite shaped cloud...can there be any better?), and wondering if there is any longer word than antidisestablishmentarianism, and how to get it to rhyme. Ah the mysteries you ponder whilst full of ginger ale.
Floccinaucinihilipilification is slightly longer.
-
Right.
I refuse to acknowledge something I look up in a dictionary to learn the pronounciation...and can't even understand that.
>:( >:( >:(
-
It means the act of estimating as worthless. I rarely use the word these days (apart from describing Mince).
-
Since I am judging this competition, I have decided to let Malc win.
-
Malc, can you submit an entry so that I can laugh at it and give the prize to Diane?
-
Egg enters the competition!
(http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa439/CKEGG/aeabd77369f68d69b0134ae02fb0e297.jpg)
-
Having Mince for Christmas dinner? I can't think of anything worse.
-
Having Mince for Christmas dinner? I can't think of anything worse.
Limited imagination.
-
Having Mince for Christmas dinner? I can't think of anything worse.
Limited imagination.
Quite right. Having you round for Christmas dinner AND Boxing Day dinner would be worse. ..0
-
Egg enters the competition!
(http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa439/CKEGG/aeabd77369f68d69b0134ae02fb0e297.jpg)
Brilliant bit of photoshopping going on there Egg.
-
Egg enters the competition!
(http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa439/CKEGG/aeabd77369f68d69b0134ae02fb0e297.jpg)
Brilliant bit of photoshopping going on there Egg.
Thank you Diane. I hope it's enough to win some BP stuff as I haven't got time to enter anything else, because, this is my last day at work until 13th December and I'm off on me holidays tonight!
Bring on the......SUNSHINE! 8) :D 8)
-
You called?
-
Egg, please don't put words in yellow. Somehow Peepmaster misreads them as "TOSSER".
-
;D ;D ;D
-
Please find below, the desperate entry that I hope will win me some fine, original artwork (and a crisp Scottish tenner, if such a thing exists), that would set off my newly decorated hall just right.
Ahem...
'Twas the night before Christmas, Roger stifled a yawn,
He coughed then he farted and he realised he’d gone,
To the place he’d created, the land of Beau Peep,
Where all of people were as simple as sheep.
He knew he was dreaming, without shadow of doubt,
When he saw poor old Beau kiss a pink brussel sprout,
Dennis was watching, laughing hard as you like
Riding ‘round Beau on a seven wheeled bike.
The Vulture, so lazy, he just stood around,
Looking for carrion, dead on the ground,
He looked to the left, where he saw a dead goat,
And discovered The Nomad in an outsized fur coat.
The Nomad stood still in a puddle of sweat,
Looking over at Abdul, who showed no regret,
At selling this coat, this one of a kind,
Made from Albino Yeti skin, to someone lacking sound mind.
Roger tried to awake, but stayed stuck in his dream,
Watching poor Hamish licking haggis ice-cream,
Egon laughed too at the sight of this Jock,
But soon he stopped laughing and fell into shock.
For there in his mess room, way way over there,
Was the Colonel sat naked upon Mad Pierre,
He hummed and he whistled, then started to chant,
And finally said “Egon, pass me the Sergeant”.
And so on a platter, (it’s a thing like a tray),
Came a roasted and basted and well seasoned Bidet,
Who looked at the Colonel, said “Enjoy your meal”,
Just as Roger awoke and said, “How bloody surreal!”
So the moral of this tired little, poor rhyming tale,
Is when your lacking ideas and you need out of jail,
It’s easy to think of a story for Peep,
Say “Bollocks” to trying, and just go to sleep.
I know it's not the best, but at least we can all imagine Mince tearing his hair out, correcting my punctuation, and have a laugh.
-
I'm a bit late to this, but here:
(http://www.malcmcgookin.com/assets/image-gallery/Editorial-Cartoons/editorial/_resampled/SetWidth600-PG-edit-tweeldee.jpg)
-
...and here:
(http://www.malcmcgookin.com/assets/image-gallery/Editorial-Cartoons/editorial/_resampled/SetHeight600-pg-911.gif)
-
Loved 'em, Malc.
-
I just want to add my competition entry.
Hang on a sec......
There you go.
(opens the windows)
-
Firstly, I think Malc failed to read the competition instructions.
So let's get down to judging the competition.
My moment of brussel-sprout induced flatulence, stunningly erudite and groundbreaking though it was, paled in comparison to Egg's entry, which at least had some decent graphics, which itself was not as good as Diane's entry, which had Roger with a brussel sprout in his pocket. But the winner by a mile is Buttcheeks, who surpassed all expectations, especially for rhyming chant with sergeant.
So Sandy Buttcheeks is the winner.
(Remember you promised me half the winnings!)
-
Well done, Sandy!
Send me a private message with your name and address and I'll get your prize off as soon as possible.
-
I would like to congratulate Sandy Buttcheeks; I hope that one day I will be able to do so, one day, when the bitter pain of disappointment subsides to a level when my heart doesn’t feel like a trampled on thing lying in the gutter of broken dreams, the resting place of failed poets and minstrels.
-
Thank you one and all. I don't know what to say since I've never won anything before, and don't expect to ever again. If it's any consolation Diane, you could always keep hold of that bitter pain of disappointment and quite easily turn it into hatred of me...it's what I would do. ;)
-
I don't have the energy to drum up hatred for you Sandy Buttcheeks - well not the quality of hatred that you so rightly deserve anyway.
In the meantime I am working on next year's competition entry - a life size Beau Peep wax figure - saving up my candle drippings now.
-
Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?
-
Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?
Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!
-
I don't have the energy to drum up hatred for you Sandy Buttcheeks - well not the quality of hatred that you so rightly deserve anyway.
In the meantime I am working on next year's competition entry - a life size Beau Peep wax figure - saving up my candle drippings now.
I could send some earwax if it gets near to the end of the year and you're still short of a nose or a chin or something. :P
-
Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?
Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!
Can we assume that Mince is the person most hated, by Diane, on this forum?
-
Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?
Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!
Can we assume that Mince is the person most hated, by Diane, on this forum?
Absolutely not. Unless, as one of the newbies, she confirms it to me personally, quoting this post. If Diane can drum up the energy to reply, she can drum up the energy required to hate me more.
-
I don't care who she hates provided she tells me first.
-
There is an “Anger Management” course advertised in the paper. I have been too lazy to go around hating people of late but this course sounds like it might be just the thing to inspire hatred and perk me up.
-
Those types of adverts are so useful, Diane.
1...Cut out the advert.
2...Wrap it around a brick.
3...Throw it at annoying person.
4...Anger managed.
:)
-
Well done, Sandy!
Send me a private message with your name and address and I'll get your prize off as soon as possible.
Two fantastic pieces of artwork and a tenner, (which I'm sure will indeed be crisp when the ink dries), arrived today. Thanks to all the other entrants who made my effort look so good.
See this space below...
...it's where I would put a e-gloat-icon, if such a beastie existed.
;D
-
Just consider yourself lucky that I'm not allowed to enter all these competitions....as a newbie you should know that I'm Roger's sister 8)
-
Just consider yourself lucky that I'm not allowed to enter all these competitions....as a newbie you should know that I'm Roger's sister 8)
Roger's sister? That's a hell of a prize to have won. What on earth was the competition? :-\
-
That was only the second prize
-
First prize was not being Roger. Poor Roger.
-
If I tell you the competition was "Ma and Pa Kettle's Bouncing Baby", guess who was first?
-
Who came first? I'm thinking...
-
Well done, Sandy!
Send me a private message with your name and address and I'll get your prize off as soon as possible.
Two fantastic pieces of artwork and a tenner, (which I'm sure will indeed be crisp when the ink dries), arrived today. Thanks to all the other entrants who made my effort look so good.
See this space below...
...it's where I would put a e-gloat-icon, if such a beastie existed.
;D
Just catching up after my hols.............well done Butty! Are you posting pictures of the artwork?
Thanks for the mention Mince....I'm going to claim a close 2nd! :P
-
Well done, Sandy!
Send me a private message with your name and address and I'll get your prize off as soon as possible.
Two fantastic pieces of artwork and a tenner, (which I'm sure will indeed be crisp when the ink dries), arrived today. Thanks to all the other entrants who made my effort look so good.
See this space below...
...it's where I would put a e-gloat-icon, if such a beastie existed.
;D
Just catching up after my hols.............well done Butty! Are you posting pictures of the artwork?
Thanks for the mention Mince....I'm going to claim a close 2nd! :P
Never gave it a thought actually, Egg. Will do...watch this space.
-
Good idea, Eggsy. That way we get to see the fruits of Roger's Labours.