Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: peter on July 26, 2008, 06:40:47 PM

Title: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 26, 2008, 06:40:47 PM
Be careful I have been warned that a great treat is coming to all of you.
Be on the alert.
I will add to this as soon as I am aware.
You have been warned.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 26, 2008, 06:59:57 PM
Oh no... I think Mince's ban ends any time now so I hate to think what we're in for...
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tom on July 26, 2008, 08:56:24 PM
A great treat... I'm intrigued...
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 26, 2008, 09:01:25 PM
Maybe he misheard, and it's a Great Tit we're about to witness, and not Mince at all.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 26, 2008, 09:05:04 PM
you were warned
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 26, 2008, 09:40:22 PM
Oo-er! I doubt if I'll get to sleep tonight. Just how big a treat is it, Peter?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 27, 2008, 11:22:44 AM
I'm preparing myself with plenty of roll-eye smileys.  ..0
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 11:40:54 AM
This is a all points warning. Be on your guard.
Cannot be any more specific than that at the moment.
Don't think that being in Scotland will save you.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 27, 2008, 11:52:08 AM
Peter, is Mince emigrating to Australia?  :)
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 27, 2008, 11:52:56 AM
No, it can't be that: he can still post from there.  :(
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 11:56:09 AM
if only
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Malc on July 27, 2008, 02:04:14 PM
Why do I get the feeling this won't be a great treat at all, merely Peter's version of a great treat, such as a jam sandwich?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 02:15:25 PM
This has turned into a great threat.
the forecast is serious for all of Great Britain
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 02:16:14 PM
I am the only one who will get the treat.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 27, 2008, 02:53:20 PM
I am the only one who will get the treat.

If you're the only one to get the treat then it must be:

Mince is finally leaving home (and moving in with Roger...)
YOU'RE emigrating to Australia (and Peeps is Mince's new dad ....)
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 03:01:40 PM
What's this about finally leaving home we have been trying for twenty years and like a boomerang he keeps coming back.
If it was only Roger I would have sent him a personal message.
This is a all points bulletin.
If Peeps want to take the responsibility I will let him they do seem to like one another .

If not what about you taking him he's cheap Vulture.
Real cheap
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 27, 2008, 04:10:00 PM
What's this about finally leaving home we have been trying for twenty years and like a boomerang he keeps coming back.
If it was only Roger I would have sent him a personal message.
This is a all points bulletin.
If Peeps want to take the responsibility I will let him they do seem to like one another .

If not what about you taking him he's cheap Vulture.
Real cheap


Children are NEVER cheap; I've had three of them but I've been lucky enough to get them to leave home while they were in their early twenties.  You obviously went wrong somewhere if he's still at home; you made him too comfortable.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 27, 2008, 06:10:15 PM
I can't bear the tension. Isn't one sleepless night enough, Peter?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 27, 2008, 06:20:09 PM
I'm not filled with dread, but I've got about an ear-lobe's worth of mild concern.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 06:26:10 PM
ALERT! ALERT!

MINCE IS ON HOLIDAY

HE WILL BE TRAVELLING AROUND THE UK BY CAR.

STARTING FROM LONDON HE WILL BE AWAY THREE WHOLE WEEKS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

THE CAKES AND BUNTING ARE ALREADY BEING PUT UP AND HERE THE PARTY HAS STARTED.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tom on July 27, 2008, 07:25:50 PM
Peter, Operation Mince Spies has been initiated.

Stay calm.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 27, 2008, 08:36:03 PM
HE 'S NOT GOING TO MELTON MOWBREY
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tom on July 27, 2008, 08:55:04 PM
Phew, that's lucky. That's where the operation's HQ is.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Diane CBPFC on July 27, 2008, 08:56:44 PM
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU PETER, YOU ARE TRULY DEEPLY DESERVING OF THIS! THANK GOD, YOU CAN GET YOUR SWEETIES OUT OF THEIR HIDY-HOLE NOW! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
(It wasn't your car and petrol card he took was it? - although it would probably be worth it anyway.)

Yippy! - we don't have to worry about grammar and spelling for three weeks!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 27, 2008, 10:53:24 PM
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU PETER, YOU ARE TRULY DEEPLY DESERVING OF THIS! THANK GOD, YOU CAN GET YOUR SWEETIES OUT OF THEIR HIDY-HOLE NOW! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
(It wasn't your car and petrol card he took was it? - although it would probably be worth it anyway.)

Yippy! - we don't have to worry about grammar and spelling for three weeks!

What's the betting he's taking his laptop with him.

AND he'll probably come back with three weeks of washing for Mrs Peter to wash!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 27, 2008, 11:06:48 PM
Am I the only person to be thinking this is a bit of an anti-climax? You can't even say "Lock up your daughters", because we're talking about.. er.. Mince.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Mince on July 27, 2008, 11:14:29 PM
Everyone here knows me well enough. Do I seem like the kind of person who would travel around Britain terrorising a bunch of old people?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Malc on July 28, 2008, 05:05:53 AM
Er, quite frankly yes.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 28, 2008, 06:57:03 AM
Everyone here knows me well enough. Do I seem like the kind of person who would travel around Britain terrorising a bunch of old people?

Well, it'd be no different from what you normally do, but you'll be on the move while you're doing it!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 28, 2008, 08:40:11 AM
I've got visions of a little bubble-car with a suitcase strapped to the top...
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Mince on July 28, 2008, 10:26:54 AM
The suitcase fits nicely next to the machine gun.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 28, 2008, 12:29:42 PM
Sorry to you all but the laptop as you notice has gone with him.
I think that you should all leave your area for three weeks so he will not find you.
Maybe a trip to Newark for a fortnight will be the one safe place.
You can join in the celebrations with us.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 28, 2008, 12:31:33 PM
Don't worry about the machine gun. It's mechanical so he wont be able to work out how to use it/
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 29, 2008, 09:57:11 AM
believed to be in London area until wednesday
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 29, 2008, 10:06:43 AM
Thank goodness I'm out of London for the next few weeks.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 31, 2008, 01:53:38 PM
WARNING !
Mince is on the move.
Is known to be moving north at considerable speed.
Passed Newark midday 31 July.
P.S. Newark was not safe.
P.P.S. Note full stops all over the place.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 31, 2008, 02:03:09 PM
Goodness, Peter. You MUST have been badly affected if Mince's visit brought you out in full-stops!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 31, 2008, 03:07:32 PM
ALERT! ALERT!

Mince has already captured one of you.

News updates as soon as poss
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on July 31, 2008, 05:46:27 PM
He has got as far as Scarborough.
That's about half way to Scotland
Be afraid Roger and Peepmaster.
I think that you people abroad should be afraid. He got Calypso already Captured
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on July 31, 2008, 07:16:28 PM
He has got as far as Scarborough.
That's about half way to Scotland
Be afraid Roger and Peepmaster.
I think that you people abroad should be afraid. He got Calypso already Captured

You mean Mince has gone to the bother of capturing Calypso and he's taken her to.....(gulp).....Scarborough????  :o
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 01, 2008, 07:05:03 PM
Alert! All points north .
Mince is moving further north
I did warn you Roger and Peeps. It  has been confirmed that he is heading towards to the Lake District.
That's only a small hop to Mull.
You have been warned
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 01, 2008, 08:55:45 PM
Have you actually looked at an atlas, Peter?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 01, 2008, 09:10:52 PM
Have you actually looked at an atlas, Peter?

You mean it is further than the good old US of A
If he can capture Calypso how safe are you?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 01, 2008, 09:12:57 PM
The idea of being minced by Mince is, er... mince! (Scottish term - thanks Roger).
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 03, 2008, 08:07:15 PM
New Warning.
Mince arrived back in Newark last night just before we made a moonlight flit.
News as soon as we Know
but again a all points alert
 
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 03, 2008, 08:20:39 PM
Does he still have Calypso with him, or has she managed to escape?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 03, 2008, 08:25:53 PM
Still being dragged around by Mince.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 03, 2008, 09:31:06 PM
I have visions of Mince dragging Calypso by the hair whilst heaving a club over one of his shoulders.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: dslex...dislex...confused on August 03, 2008, 09:41:29 PM
I was still trying to figure out whereabouts your mince was to be dragged around by
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 03, 2008, 10:15:37 PM
I was still trying to figure out whereabouts your mince was to be dragged around by

DDC, you're related to Peter, right?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Joan on August 03, 2008, 11:01:22 PM
I'm going down to London on Tuesday - am I safe?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 03, 2008, 11:06:03 PM
I'm going down to London on Tuesday - am I safe?

God! I hope so. I've been house-sitting in Bushey since last week-end and I'm back in London from tomorrow so I can catch up with all my water aerobics classes.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 04, 2008, 09:51:33 AM
news
Mince is moving towards Bristol
so so long as you are not there to long you should be ok.
but things can change
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 04, 2008, 09:54:12 AM
news
Mince is moving towards Bristol
so so long as you are not there to long you should be ok.
but things can change

How do you know all this? Is he reporting back every five minutes, or have you installed GPS in his car?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 04, 2008, 12:39:04 PM
its done with my Mince spys
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 04, 2008, 12:53:56 PM
its done with my Mince spys


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 04, 2008, 01:06:56 PM
I'm going down to London on Tuesday - am I safe?

God! I hope so. I've been house-sitting in Bushey since last week-end and I'm back in London from tomorrow so I can catch up with all my water aerobics classes.
I use to lodge in Bushy it is were I met my better half.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 04, 2008, 06:18:48 PM
Is there going to be a film of this? Smokey and the Mince? National Lampoon's Mince Vacation?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 05, 2008, 09:45:33 AM
Is there going to be a film of this? Smokey and the Mince? National Lampoon's Mince Vacation?

Meatloaf sings Calypso
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 05, 2008, 11:34:12 AM
Is there going to be a film of this? Smokey and the Mince? National Lampoon's Mince Vacation?

Meatloaf sings Calypso

 :D :D
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 05, 2008, 04:34:13 PM
Wells Cheder and Bath has had an invasion today.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 05, 2008, 05:07:44 PM
Let me know if he attempts to breach the Shropshire border, Peter. I'll need a few hours to heat up the oil.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 05, 2008, 05:49:45 PM
You should be safe but who knows with Mince.
I thought I would get rid of him for three whole weeks but within three days he was back.
The man is unpredictable.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 07, 2008, 09:18:29 PM
Mince is snuggled down in Cornwell.
So all of you should be o.k. for some time.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 07, 2008, 11:02:07 PM
I was in Cornwall last week. I guess that's what you call a narrow escape. Speaking of escape, has Calypso succeeded yet?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 12, 2008, 09:49:56 AM
Bloody people!
The Mince spy's have lost him.
He could be any were along the south coast and as far north as the cotwolds.
I do not believe it.
Last I heard Calypso was still being held captive.
 
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 12, 2008, 10:11:37 AM
Calypso is still captive, eh? Sounds like we could have a Patty Hearst situation developing.  :o
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 12, 2008, 10:12:21 AM
I thought he was down in the South West of England, the clot
ted cream teas would be quite tasty I imagine.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 12, 2008, 02:01:17 PM
Calypso is still captive, eh? Sounds like we could have a Patty Hearst situation developing.  :o

I was going to say that Tarks but could not remember her name.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 12, 2008, 02:54:03 PM
Calypso is still captive, eh? Sounds like we could have a Patty Hearst situation developing.  :o

Are we sure it's Calypso that's the captive: perhaps she's waiting for a suitably high cliff to chuck Mince off!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 12, 2008, 03:33:47 PM
Beachy Head is good.

You're welcome!
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 12, 2008, 04:43:05 PM
Touring the South West of England is Mince - Crackers
would go nicely with some cheese from Cheddar.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 12, 2008, 04:47:00 PM
I can imagine what the South of the UK now thinks about Mince - Nuts
are quite good sprinkled on an ice-cream
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 12, 2008, 07:25:55 PM
Maybe Mince is sleeping in a tent - the twit
tering of birds would wake him early
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 12, 2008, 07:41:46 PM
You've been enjoying yourself, haven't you, Peeps!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 12, 2008, 08:26:08 PM
I'm just working on prickly pear.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 12, 2008, 10:50:49 PM
Calypso is still captive, eh? Sounds like we could have a Patty Hearst situation developing.  :o

Are we sure it's Calypso that's the captive: perhaps she's waiting for a suitably high cliff to chuck Mince off!


As Mince took his laptop with him and we have not heard from him for the last five days Calypso might have done the deed already.
It does seem odd that he has not corrected any of my posts its like going deaf.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 13, 2008, 12:37:04 AM
Pardon?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: peter on August 13, 2008, 09:18:03 PM
Mince spies have had sightings near Bournemouth heading towards London.
beware we only have vague clues
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 13, 2008, 09:25:56 PM
Great. It might give me the opportunity to use Arse
nal
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 13, 2008, 11:41:05 PM
Is he planning to go anywhere near Cockfosters?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 14, 2008, 12:17:43 AM
Peepsie, I don't think you have the right to lambast arduously working role models like Mince.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Diane CBPFC on August 14, 2008, 02:49:53 AM
It's not a right but a perk.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 14, 2008, 07:51:50 AM
It's not a right but a perk.


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Calypso on August 20, 2008, 08:22:56 PM
I think you all should know that I made Mince's life a misery for nearly three weeks until he happily dumped me at the airport.  Are any of you familiar with O. Henry's "The Ransom of Red Chief?"

Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 20, 2008, 08:38:32 PM
I think you all should know that I made Mince's life a misery for nearly three weeks until he happily dumped me at the airport.  Are any of you familiar with O. Henry's "The Ransom of Red Chief?"



Good for you, girl!


Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 20, 2008, 08:43:33 PM
Do we all need to buy new hats?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 20, 2008, 08:59:09 PM
Nah! I stopped wearing hats when I left the Girl Guides.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Calypso on August 23, 2008, 01:07:24 AM
Calypso contemplating on how to get Mince close to the edge of a cliff...


(http://i527.photobucket.com/albums/cc356/Pilotera/CornishCoastTintagel13.jpg)


Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Roger Kettle on August 23, 2008, 09:32:57 AM
I'm guessing that's not Texas. Spectacular spot, Calypso.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: The Peepmaster on August 23, 2008, 09:55:17 AM
I'm guessing that's not Texas. Spectacular spot, Calypso.

It's not done to point out a lady's blemishes, Roger!  >:(
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Mince on August 23, 2008, 10:34:35 AM
I think she was hoping the Cornish sea winds would blow me off the cliff and save her the bother.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Calypso on August 23, 2008, 01:22:34 PM
Actually, it was Mince who was wishing the winds would blow me off the cliffs.  He very nearly got his wish. Some of the gusts of wind --Cornish sea winds so there will be no doubt what type of wind we are talking about here -- were in the 40mph range.  He left me to fend for myself among the boulders and ruins of Tintagel. There was no doubt in my mind that he was hoping I'd slip and fall into the sea. He took me on death-marches across Bournemouth, Scarborough and Newark in the cold, rain and wind. He starved me one day. I can't be sure, but I think he was trying to rid himself of me.  I'm not sure why though.  :-\   

To the women on the board:  Because of the weather, my hair was a complete disaster most of the time I was in England. I could not get it straight, even with the aid of an inexpensive flat-iron straightener and smoothing product I bought! I did not look like myself the entire time.  I eventually gave up and bought a  cap.

To all:  Peter and Mrs Peter were very hospitable. 
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 23, 2008, 01:26:54 PM
It all sounds like a traditional Cockney courtship ritual to me. Expect a bended knee any day now - usually to the small of the back.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Calypso on August 23, 2008, 01:33:25 PM
Is no longer speaking part of that ritual?
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on August 23, 2008, 01:47:18 PM
Very much so. 'Tis the calm before the matrimonial storm.
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 23, 2008, 03:14:38 PM
It all sounds like a traditional Cockney courtship ritual to me. Expect a bended knee any day now - usually to the small of the back.

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Warning! Warning!
Post by: Vulture on August 23, 2008, 03:17:08 PM
Is no longer speaking part of that ritual?

The normal British relationship consists of NO speech whatsoever except when the male half of the partnership needs clean socks!