Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Joan on October 12, 2008, 09:59:02 AM
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When I was in Scotland, I picked up a copy of a wee book Called "Oor Wee School Wis A Rare Wee School!" - Classroom capers from Scottish schoolchildren, which contains lots of anecdotes and stories from pupils, teachers and parents in Scottish schools. I thought I should share some of them with you. Some of you may have read the book before - though maybe not, as I only saw it in tourist shops.
I'll start with my own contribution - this is not in the book, but is actually typical of the ones that are - I wish I was this quick with a come back now!
My mother met my primary 2 teacher in the street one day, many years after I had left school. She was asking how I was doing, and said, "I always remember Joan - the children were doing drawings one day and I admired Joan's effort and asked her what it was called. 'A robin in a tree.' was the reply. 'Where's the robin?' 'It's flown away.' " Obvious to a six year old. ..0
Anyway, here's one from the book:
"Tell me something bad about the witches in Macbeth, Smith," asked the English teacher in an Aberdeen school.
"They couldnae spell, sir."
"Smith, yer patter's like watter!"
"Aye - an your words are absurd!"
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The wee school I went to in Dalwhinnie had 18 pupils when I was there---and those were the bumper years.
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I'm sure there's a book of notes somewhere. If not, there should be. You know, those notes your mother sent the teacher when you had missed the previous day or were to be excused games.
My favourite: "Billy was absent from school yesterday as he had diahorrea through a hole in his wellingtons"
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Here you go, Malc:
"Please excuse Alan for being absent at present. He has a sore belly as he swallowed a sixpence. I will let you know if there is any change."
"Please excuse William for being absent as he spewed up the whole of the Main Street last night."
"Please do not give James the strap. At home we only use corporal punishment in self-defence."
"Dear Head Waster, ..."
and
"Please excuse James, as he had diarrhoea in his new sandals."
I think the wellies would have been worse.
- The single mum was enrolling her child at the school.
"And is there a partner's name?" was the question posed.
"Listen, hen. When ye take hot peas an' vinegar ye don't know which wan made ye fart. Dae ye?"
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Incidentally, I'm glad Roger didn't entitle this thread "Thoughts From a Broad". If we can't use the word bird, I don't think that would have gone down well.
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A true one, my teacher friend got a note from a mother for her daughter.
It was rather crumpled exercise book page with "Please excuse ****** from school yesterday as she had toothache and had to visit the dentist".
Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, until she turned it over and the other side read
"Your dinner's in the microwave, wake me up if you want sex" <-
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Incidentally, I'm glad Roger didn't entitle this thread "Thoughts From a Broad".
You just couldn't resist that, could you, Peeps? I'm surprised it hasn't been used before, given there are at least three of us "birds" who would qualify as "a broad". Does Vulture miss out, or is England classified as foreign?
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A true one, my teacher friend got a note from a mother for her daughter.
It was rather crumpled exercise book page with "Please excuse ****** from school yesterday as she had toothache and had to visit the dentist".
Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, until she turned it over and the other side read
"Your dinner's in the microwave, wake me up if you want sex" <-
Hilarious, Max! ;D
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Incidentally, I'm glad Roger didn't entitle this thread "Thoughts From a Broad".
You just couldn't resist that, could you, Peeps? I'm surprised it hasn't been used before, given there are at least three of us "birds" who would qualify as "a broad". Does Vulture miss out, or is England classified as foreign?
Physically, I'm probably the 'broadest' of the lot! :P
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A true one, my teacher friend got a note from a mother for her daughter.
It was rather crumpled exercise book page with "Please excuse ****** from school yesterday as she had toothache and had to visit the dentist".
Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, until she turned it over and the other side read
"Your dinner's in the microwave, wake me up if you want sex" <-
And some people say romance is dead.
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Shouldn't the word "please" be in there somewhere?
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Shouldn't the word "please" be in there somewhere?
Alongside the word "don't"?