The Roger Challenge

[Mince]

I say we all buy Roger a yellow reflective vest and a clipboard and then take bets on what high-security places we can suggest for him to sneak into without being questioned.

[Roger Kettle]

I already have the vest and the clipboard and I'm typing this in Meghan Markle's bedroom.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

  And that, I think, settles that one.

[Mince]

I already have the vest and the clipboard and I'm typing this in Meghan Markle's bedroom.

Did you bike down there?

[Roger Kettle]

I realise that you're trying to extricate my M.O. so I won't answer this.
At the moment, I'm in some bushes somewhere in Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington.

[Roger Kettle]

I have to be quiet now. A lunatic with orange hair is wandering around, muttering about having a big button.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I have to be quiet now. A lunatic with orange hair is wandering around, muttering about having a big button.

I’m in Perth. I swear!

[Mince]

Tarks is actually checking up on you, Roger, making observations and notes in order to determine whether you are ready to be inducted into our secret group, the Double Obscured Leading Tactical Society.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Really? I thought we were the Doubly Intellectual Collective Knights Herald Evangelical Altruistic Diehard Society?

[Mince]

Oh, I thought you were the only member of that group after we kicked you out of ours. We said to you, "Bring back the head of an enemy warrior a new member for our society, preferably one who rides a bike. And don't eat sweets or write any stupid books on the way."

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Sometimes, you just ask too much.