Haggis

[Mince]

I am eating haggis right now.

[Diane CBPFC]

That might help. 

[Roger Kettle]

I presume you mean the vegetarian version?

[Mince]

No, I mean the vegan version.

[Diane CBPFC]

Didn't appear to help at all. 

[Egg]

So what’s used instead of a sheep’s stomach for a Vegan Haggis?

Tesco carrier bag!

[Roger Kettle]

What puzzles me is the constant need for vegetarians/vegans to replicate meat, fish and dairy dishes like haggis, sausages, sausage rolls etc. My wife once went to a vegan restaurant and had Cullen Skink (a Scottish soup made with smoked haddock) which, of course, had no fish in it. To finish, there was a "cheese board" without any cheese whatsoever. Surely they would want to distance themselves completely from such dishes? It's an open admission that they're trying to produce something as tasty as the original. Be brave! Be proud! No more "vegetarian sausages"! Call them turnip tubes!

[Mince]

Or better still, stick to whole foods and avoid processed crap altogether.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

...And you too could be like Mince!

[Mince]

No more "vegetarian sausages"! Call them turnip tubes!

I assume you eat traditional sausages - you know, meat scraps, fat and blood shoved inside a cleaned animal intestine. Anything else would be sacrilege. And I'll have you know that proper Cullen Skink is made with Finnan haddie, not with any old smoked haddock.

[Roger Kettle]

I replied to this eloquently and was told my access was FORBIDDEN. I have no idea if this will get through. I will try again tomorrow.

[Roger Kettle]

That was weird! When I posted my response last night, a great big FORBIDDEN filled my screen! Anyway...
Mince, your assumption about my sausage-eating habits is wrong. I don't eat them but you do make them sound rather tempting.

As for Cullen Skink, you obviously know that "haddie" is exactly the same as "haddock". You appear to be questioning my use of "smoked" rather than "Finnan". Well, okay, sorry about that. My only point about this is that, as I said earlier, I simply don't understand why vegetarians and vegans insist on aping traditional dishes. Cullen Skink without haddock is not Cullen Skink. A cheese board without cheese is not a cheese board and a "vegan haggis" is just ridiculous. If you remove the offensive ingredients from the latter, you're left with something like oats and onions. Why not just call it an "oats and onion parcel" or something like that? The other day I saw a recipe for a cauliflower steak! I honestly don't care what people choose to eat and I wouldn't dream of being critical. I just don't see the logic in vegetarians/vegans naming their dishes after the original versions that they clearly find abhorrent.

[Mince]

A cheese board without cheese is not a cheese board

I think you'll find it's a Gary board.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I just don't see the logic in vegetarians/vegans naming their dishes after the original versions that they clearly find abhorrent.

That’ll be because you eat meat, Roger. It dulls your logic. The idea is to lure we carnivores over to the vegan alternative by highlighting that you can have all of the foods you currently cherish, but made from cauliflower. Once we successfully develop a steak that tastes and looks just like cauliflower, the tables will be turned. Mark my words!

[Roger Kettle]

Consider your words marked!