Okay, Tarquin, reopen it. (Not that I'm scared of being sacked by the kind of entity that makes sea-slugs look fashionable).
I honestly felt that Roger deserved to win the competition once we'd discovered that the entry that was hair-shampoo above all the others, was, in fact, written by Roger himself. It proved that there was no way he could be emulated, and to pretend that we even had a chance, was, well, just kidding ourselves. Giving an award to someone like Mince, would be like pinning a medal on a turnip.