WEEK ENDING FRIDAY 25TH JUNE 2010In the Dominion of Dimandela:- Military funding has been stripped back.
- A well-funded social safety net has been put into place to protect the unfortunate.
- It is now illegal to make racist remarks in public.
- Marijuana has been made legal in the privacy of your own home.
- Citizens are, however, regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'.
- Meat eating is frowned upon
In the Kingdom of the Angry Rhinoceros: - Rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons.
- All news sources have been placed under strict government control.
- Following new legislation, heavy industry must now go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste.
- The government has begun seizing private property for the 'good of the people'.
- Prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.
- Government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders.
- The government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups.
- The nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events.
- Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in the country.
In the Kingdom of Upper Tomsland:- Strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices.
- The people elect the Supreme Court justices directly.
- Cheese has become the new icon of political dissent.
- Shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.
- Recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable.
- Tthe automotive industry has been soaking up huge government handouts.
- Smoking has been banned in public areas.
- Upper Tomsland is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
- Same-sex marriages are becoming increasingly common.
- "Giraffe" is one of the most popular forenames in the country.
- Upper Tomsland's airwaves are dominated by corporate-backed commercial radio.
- Major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day.
- Max Barry is this year's Miss Upper Tomsland.
In the Republic of Werdelarwe:- A dictator has seized power and outlawed elections.
- Military spending has hit a new high.
- Customs turn away those considered to have an unfavourable ethnicity.
- Citizens are now permitted to carry concealed handguns.
- Criminals are thrown to the flat hedgehogs to repay their debt to society.
- The government is slowly introducing social welfare programs.
- Lending firms are now subject to strict government regulations.
- School uniforms have been made compulsory.
- Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion.
- The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
Govermental Reclassifications:- Dimandela was reclassified from "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise" back to "Democratic Socialists".
- The Kingdom of the Angry Rhinoceros was reclassified from "Corporate Police State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
- The Kingdom of Upper Tomsland was reclassified from "Democratic Socialists" to "New York Times Democracy".
- The Republic of Werdelarwe was reclassified from "Corporate Bordello" back to "New York Times Democracy", and then to "Compulsory Consumerist State".
That's all from this week's edition of BPN.