Saturday Night's Alright For Punching Elton John.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

On the contrary, Roger - how are you with spoons? We're looking for that gimmick to set us apart from the rest. We may just consider a six-piece band if your clacking is up to scratch.

Or you could be Malc's understudy should he ever miss his bus - I gather the resemblance is already there. Can you grow a beard?

[Roger Kettle]

I'll get down with my funky spoons.

[Max]

I can't let this opperchancity pass.

I'm a wee bit younger than Roger, already have a fully paid up and licensed beard.
Know how to hold a guitar, and even played drums in a band for a song in 1977 (Alex Harvey's "there's no lights on the christmas tree mother, they're burning big Louis tonight" yeah, thank you Cumbernauld.
Voice is nothing to write home about, but if you were writing home I wouldn't want to be in your band anyway.
So there you go, an impeccable history, apart from the bits I made up.

 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Max, the Alex Harvey name-drop clinched it. Welcome aboard. I'm either going to have to rethink this as a male voice choir boy band, or I'll just have to be ruthless and sack a couple of the current line-up. It may be a blessing in disguise - Albert's knees may not hold out  for another world tour (he's a veteran of several boy bands, including the Arbroath Smokies), and Theodore finds miming a little difficult with his new teeth. He's also got two young children to think about, as well as his fourteen grandchildren and six great grandkids. He needs a rest.

Rock on, Max - I love it when a Complan comes together!