...and I don't mean small, of lesser stature, tiny etc.
A conversation with my son went like this. (Real meanings in red)
Son..."We need to go into Glasgow tomorrow"
(I'm still tipsy from last night. Could you be my driver and use your car. I've no petrol.)Me...."Do you?"
(We? I don't need to go. I take it I'm driving you, since you smell like a brewery.)Son..."Yeah, we need to get sketch pads for Uni"
(I've mentioned Uni. That should get a bit of sympathy of the "poor student" type.)Me...."Do you?"
(He's got bugger all money and trying to be cute about it. Anyway, what's with this "we" again?)Son..."Yeah, A2,A3,A4,A5 cartridge paper pads"
(He'll think it's only paper and that it'll be a nice cheap hit on him.)Me..."Sounds pricey"
(Isn't A2 like a bedsheet? This is going to cost.)Son..."Nah, we should be able to get them all for 40 quid"
(Shit. Rumbled. Resort to lies. Think of a number and half it.)Me...."Wow. How you going to manage that? I thought you were skint?"
(I ain't footing this bill alone.)Son..."Thought we would chip in"
(He won't want to foot this bill alone.)Me...."What? Go halfers like?"
(I need to start bartering with him. He may have some cash at least.)Son..."Nah, just kinda chip in"
(Need to think quick, he's got the bartering head on.)Me...."Oh right. How much are you thinking then?"
(F**k it, I'll go for him head on.)Son..."Well I've got £1.83 left from last night..."
(Well in one pocket I have. I've got tonights drinking vouchers upstairs.)At this point the household dissolved into fits of laughter, and once again I am left wondering what "we" actually means.
