1. What is red and makes you die if it gets in your eye? A firetruck.
2. Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?"
3. I went to an undersea party last night and pulled a mussel.
4. What's blue and smells of red paint? Blue paint.
5. I was at a party and there was a guy trying to tell this awful joke, but he completely ruined the punch line. Spilled it everywhere while we were waiting behind him.
6. A book fell on Sean Connery's head, and he said: "I have only my shelf to blame"
7. A missing punchline walks into a bar.
8. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
9. Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
10. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? A polar bear.