Bye, bye Blackberry ...

[Joan]

I was cursing the swimming pool yesterday - strange as it may seem, I do that a lot, as I look after it.  Frankly, if it didn't increase the value of the house, I would have it filled in, but that's another story.  First thing that happened was, I knelt down to fill a bottle for testing the water, and let out loud yells of pain - I hurt my knee and leg on the walk, but they both felt fine until I put my knee down on the hard pavers ... I must have really mushed up the inside of the knee cap, because it hurt like that place down below with all the fire.

Managed to scoop up some water with the left knee down and the right leg straight out to one side - when I think of it, that was no mean feat - then got up and walked round the corner of the pool.  I'd forgotten that I had my Blackberry in my pocket - an absolute no, no - and of course, what happened, but it slipped out (in slow motion, of course) and "plopped" into the pool.  The curses and yelling woke up my kids and probably caused a few golfers to miss their shots, as I tried first to grab it as it sank slowly to the bottom - didn't even notice the pain in my knee - then ran round the pool to get the net on the pole, emptied out all the leaves in the net - which immediately blew back into the pool - and with great difficulty fished it out.  It was still inside it's little pouch, but as I took it out, it was fizzing and crackling, so I fear the worst.

Took the battery and the cards out, which all seem okay and did my best to dry it and get the water out, before deciding to see if there were any tips on the internet.  Several, in fact - seems to be a common occurrence, dropping phones into liquid of some sort of another.

So my poor old Blackberry is now sitting in a sealed container of uncooked rice.  It has to stay there for five days, apparently, so that the rice can absorb all the moisture.  You can also use those little packs of silicon gel that come in shoe boxes, etc, but only had one of those, so didn't think it would be enough.  I don't hold out much hope, because of all the fizzing and crackling that went on, but please keep your fingers crossed.    The turning on will take place on Saturday.  Will report in.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

For Roger's benefit, this is a Blackberry...





Joan, you have a swimming pool and you're looking for our sympathy? 

[The Peepmaster]

 it hurt like that place down below with all the fire.

Not only that, she's got a boiler room too!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

 

[Roger Kettle]

For Roger's benefit, this is a Blackberry...





Joan, you have a swimming pool and you're looking for our sympathy? 

I feel like pulling out a huge knife and saying "That's not a blackberry----THIS is a blackberry!"

[Joan]

I feel like pulling out a huge knife and saying "That's not a blackberry----THIS is a blackberry!"

 

Joan, you have a swimming pool and you're looking for our sympathy? 

No, I'm just being a whinging pom, TT.    Swimming pools are two a penny over here.  A slight exaggeration maybe, but there are an awful lot of them around here, as evidenced by the number of pool shops and harassed pool owners in the pool shops at any one time, especially in the summer.  I bet Malc has one.  Trying to keep them balanced, clean and with enough water in them can be a major pain in the proverbial.  My old boss actually did fill the swimming pool in when he bought a new house.  Having said that, I do appreciate having it there when it's sparkling, clean and balanced perfectly and the weather is extremely warm.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Actually, Joan, I wouldn't want one here in the grounds of Thunderthighs Towers. I loved swimming in my youth, but seldom go these days, unless bullied into it by the kids. And I have to concede the climate here works against the idea. I have vivid memories of a childhood visit to Burntisland with my family, absolutely delighted to find a swimming pool that allowed you to swim all day for thruppence (it was sixpence for an hour session back home). My brothers and I raced out of the changing rooms to find it was an open air pool. Worse still, it was open ended at the back, looking out to the sea, so was basically just a pool full of ice-cold salt water.

I managed a toe dipped in before heading back to the changing cubicles. My younger brother didn't even get that far. My older brother actually jumped in...then straight back out again.

Enjoy your pool, Joan. I'll stick to my tennis courts and croquet lawn.

[Joan]

That reminds me of our school swimming carnival - in the Helensburgh outdoor swimming pool, which was basically just the Clyde.  I don't know how we survived the 25 metres or whatever it was it took to race.

Or the time I was working at the Onich Hotel one summer and a friend suggested we go for a dip one lunchtime in Loch Linnhe at the bottom of the garden.  He donned a wetsuit.  I braved it in my swimsuit - for about 2 seconds.  We got the "Why would ye want to dae something silly like that?" remarks from the locals in the bar when we went in there to warm up.  Apparently the temperature of the Loch (it's a sea loch) varies 3 degrees from winter to summer.  Can't remember whether that was fahrenheit or centigrade, but it was bl**dy cold, I can tell you!

[Malc]

Yes, we've got a pool. A quick count reveals that four of my fence-sharing neighbours also have one.

Keeping it clean and "balanced" (as Joan says) is a major pain, that's why my wife does it. It's not because I'm a lazy bastard, it's because she agitated to have the pool very much against my wishes and my final words were "oh all right, but YOU'RE looking after it".

After the kids grew out of using the pool (they pretty much stopped after they reached 10 years old) it was left in a dire state, the water went green, even brown at one stage, and my pool-loving wife sub-contracted the chore of cleaning it to the local pool shop (for money, naturally), but even this didn't stop its slow decline.

However, when my sister-in-law announced she was paying us a surprise visit, with a mere two or three weeks notice, my wife leaped into action, and now it's sparkling and clear.

[Roger Kettle]

When we go to Portugal, I always get a place with a pool and I love it. I swim two or three times a day when I'm there. The joy, of corse, has much to do with the weather and being able to stroll out of the house and straight into the pool. I simply can't be arsed, when at home, going to a leisure centre, changing in a locker room and then sharing the water with screaming kids. Yes, I'm a grumpy old man.

[The Peepmaster]

It's the spitting and underwater urinating that people find so offensive and off-putting, Roger.




I've changed my habits now, but I'm still banned.

[Fyodor]

When we go to Portugal, I always get a place with a pool and I love it. I swim two or three times a day when I'm there. The joy, of corse, has much to do with the weather and being able to stroll out of the house and straight into the pool. I simply can't be arsed, when at home, going to a leisure centre, changing in a locker room and then sharing the water with screaming kids. Yes, I'm a grumpy old man.

These lockers are a bugger if you foolishly put the padlock key into your coat pocket, which you then entomb in the padlocked locker.
Thank the Lord for hammers, chisels, screwdrivers, pliers and, above all, hacksaws.

[Roger Kettle]

Oh, I KNEW this was coming! After my usual round of golf with Fyodor today, I----well, he's pretty much explained it. I had somehow managed to padlock my locker and leave the key inside. After a lot of inept hammering and chiseling, we eventually got a hold of a hacksaw and, I must admit, in rather girly fashion, we succeeded in sawing through the padlock. Neither of us is what you would call a D.I.Y. expert and I can guarantee my sawing arm will be stiff in the morning.

[Joan]

You need whatever the equivalent of the NRMA (AA/RAC) is for when you lock your key in your locker, Roger. 

I'm just going out to check the pool (minus phone, of course).  I just looked at the forecast and it's going to be 36 degrees tomorrow.  The temperatures are jumping up and down here like a jack in the box.  I had the electric blanket on last night.

[The Peepmaster]

I had the electric blanket on last night.

I bet you still looked a million dollars."