Snowball fights with Moose

[Diane CBPFC]

I was woken up today because of my dogs, who were barking at a moose in the garden. This moose has been hanging around for a few weeks now, but today it was literally a snowball?s throw away from the house (keeping in mind I throw like a girl). It was standing there threatening my young dog who was hiding under the tree which caused my old dog (15) to come to her defense and the moose was staring him down too. I got so mad that I went outside in my PJs, rolled up a snowball and beamed him!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Diane, where I come from, a moose is no match for two dogs and a grown woman. Shame on y'all!

Also, where I come from, we have no idea what 'beaming' snowballs is all about, but it sounds faintly rude?

[Malc]

So there was a moose loose aboot your hoose? Did he vamoose?

[Diane CBPFC]

He vamoosed for a few minutes but then came right back Malc, I thought this time I would take a photo instead, so I flung open the door and made my move, but as soon as he saw me he sprinted. I guess I have put the fear of PJ clad women in him forever. In all fairness, I really don't look my best in the mornings.

Tarq - this place you come from, this land of giant dogs and itty bitty moose, people there are pretty smutty eh?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Tarq - this place you come from, this land of giant dogs and itty bitty moose, people there are pretty smutty eh?

You got it, Diane! 

[Roger Kettle]

Now I can't get the theme of "Northern Exposure" out of my head.

[Diane CBPFC]

UPDATE:

Department of Fish and Wildlife suggestions

(1)   Buy a horn and blow it or scare it away in some other noisy way.
(2)   Come in to their office and be issued rubber bullets ? of course you have to have a valid hunter?s license for these, which I don?t. I was also told to watch out because the moose don?t like it when they get shot with rubber bullets and have charged at the Fish and Wildlife workers when doing the same thing.
(3)   Worst-case scenario ? they will come out and shoot it ? but there are five people ahead of me ? just today alone. It is because we have so much snow this year they say.

I am thinking of buying a paint gun and shooting it in the rump.  It would be a farming tax expense in this case. My boys, of course, fully support me in this decision but think it would be better if I bought two guns (and extra paint).

[Roger Kettle]

Moose are sensitive creatures. They have a fear of being insulted. In my experience, nothing gets rid of a bothersome moose quicker than a well-aimed insult. Now, I've known for a long time that the set of horns on a moose's head is called "a rack". This is the term that they, themselves, prefer. They hate it when you call them "pointy bits". Diane, just stroll out into your yard and, without looking at the unsuspecting animal, say something like "Nice Pointy Bits!" This infuriates them and, not having the power of speech, they become so frustrated at not being able to respond that they storm off in a huff.
I hope this helps.

[Diane CBPFC]

Thanks Roger, I'll say, "Take that, Pointy Bits!" As I shoot him on the ass - I'm just deciding between lime green or yellow paint balls right now...

[Roger Kettle]

Lime green---it's always lime green. Diane, do you know ANYTHING about paint-balling moose on the ass?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

For goodness sake, stop pussy-footing around.

[Diane CBPFC]

The snow in front of his feet isn't on the ground but is the snow that's on the railing of the deck. You can see how much snow we have had by the amount on top of the garden gazebo.

I must admit the moose looks smaller in the photo than when I was out on the deck throwing snowballs at him.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Call that a moose? Where's its pointy bits?

[Colin]

Do moose's have tails?

[Mince]

If you really want to have snowball fights with Moosies, can't you tie table-tennis bats to their antlers?