Golf Handicap

[Mince]

First off, I would not been seen dead playing a moronic game like golf, but I was wondering whether those who do play it while dead could explain how the term "handicap" is used in the game.

If someone has a handicap, does that mean he is given a bonus or penalty?

I tried to read the Wiki page but lost the will to live.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Over to Roger.

I could explain, but since this subject requires neither batteries nor a plug, it's only right that Roger gets first chance (no remarks about him having to constantly having to explain his Andy Capp).

[Mince]

I could explain, but since this subject requires neither batteries nor a plug, it's only right that Roger gets first chance (no remarks about him having to constantly having to explain his Andy Capp).

It seems you have similar problems with verbs.

And the "him" should be "his".

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I could give you a really long-winded explanation as to why you're wrong and I'm right, but I concede that I'm not as good at bullsh*t as you are.

[The Peepmaster]

Over to Roger.

(no remarks about him having to constantly having to explain his Andy Capp).

Even with the word "his" substituted, it still doesn't make complete sense, so Mince has it wrong, again. 

Mince - the bloke who couldn't be bothered dressing-up for a fancy dress party, yet still managed to win first prize as a cow-pat.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Good to have you back, Peepsie!

[The Peepmaster]

Thanks, Tarquin.

I quite fancy writing Mince's life-story - it'd be like a twatography.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Now that's just not very nice.

We expect better of you than 'not very'. You're not quite fully fit yet, I suspect.

[Roger Kettle]

If you mis-hit a golf shot, you are allowed to swear once without penalty. The whole system stems from the Dutch word "handerkaap"---meaning "to strike on the head". In the world of golf, it came to mean a licence to swear without being hit on the head by an opponent and "handerkaap" was anglicised to "handicap". Someone with an "16 handicap" is, therefore,  permitted to swear 16 times before being penalised.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

There you go, Mince - you've just lost your bullsh*t crown.

[Mince]

For Heaven's sake, you tosspots, is a golf handicap of say 16 a penalty or a bonus?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Well, I wouldn't be seen dead with one personally, but it's all a matter of taste.

[Mince]

Definition: "Handicap" refers to a numerical representation of a golfer's playing ability. The lower a golfer's handicap, the better the golfer is. A 2 handicapper is better than a 10 handicapper who is better than a 20 handicapper.

So if you give someone a handicap of 5, you are giving them a bonus, making it easier for them to win.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

What you're doing, in theory at least, is levelling the playing field based on ability, yes. You may think it is to the golfer's advantage to have a higher handicap therefore, but you would be mistaken. The lower one's handicap the more entitled one is to put one's thumb to one's nose and wiggle one's fingers at one's opponent, singing "Na na nanna na."

[Mince]

So "giving someone a handicap" means "giving them a bonus" or "making it easier for them to win"?