It's time to reveal...

[Malc]

I think it is time to reveal the truth about the person you know as Malc McGookin. I am really an alien from a planet yet to be discovered by Earth scientists. My kind has been here for many thousands of your years, and we sometimes adopt the form of humans and live human lives to pass among you unnoticed, though personally I didn't feel registering for tax was strictly necessary, but I'm not in charge.

[Mince]

we sometimes adopt the form of humans and live human lives to pass among you unnoticed

Hmm, then posting this wasn't a good idea. No wonder you're not in charge.

[Vulture]

I think it is time to reveal the truth about the person you know as Malc McGookin. I am really an alien from a planet yet to be discovered by Earth scientists. My kind has been here for many thousands of your years, and we sometimes adopt the form of humans and live human lives to pass among you unnoticed, though personally I didn't feel registering for tax was strictly necessary, but I'm not in charge.

Ahh - so it's YOU who's really the pilchard!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

This is news?

[Diane CBPFC]

Ahhh, for an alien, you're not doing too bad then.

[Malc]

My alien name is something humans cannot pronounce, but on my home planet it means "Reliable In A Bind, But Has Trouble Seeing The Big Picture".

[Tom]

I knew it!

And I bet you're responsible for all of those crop circles that keep 'cropping' ( ) up.

And I bet you have something to do with those strange bright-orange UFOs that are being seen all over the country. I've seen two of them, by the way...

[Roger Kettle]

When? Where?

[The Peepmaster]

I knew it!

And I bet you're responsible for all of those crop circles that keep 'cropping' ( ) up.

And I bet you have something to do with those strange bright-orange UFOs that are being seen all over the country. I've seen two of them, by the way...

Was that at the national frisbee championships?

[Tom]

Was that at the national frisbee championships?

Have I missed them again?

Here's a photo I've obtained from the Telegraph's website, taken a couple of weeks ago, that shows one of Malc's objects.

They don't look quite as 'blobby' in real life, and are very bright...

[Diane CBPFC]

Does this mean they have come to take him back home?

[The Peepmaster]

Does this mean they have come to take him back home?

What, like taxis?

[Malc]

Us aliens are quite well adjusted individuals, we immediately detect sarcasm and don't rise to the bait, preferring to wait until you are asleep before probing you.

[peter]

you should be able to find out whether I am Mince or Peter

[peter]

Or neither or either.