cowboy joke

[robbie62]

the lone ranger and tonto are riding the range when all of a sudden tonto jumps off his horse and puts his ear to the ground .
after a few seconds he looks up at the lone ranger and says "buffalo come"
"how can you tell " asks the lone ranger
"face all sticky" says tonto   

[Vulture]

the lone ranger and tonto are riding the range when all of a sudden tonto jumps off his horse and puts his ear to the ground .
after a few seconds he looks up at the lone ranger and says "buffalo come"
"how can you tell " asks the lone ranger
"face all sticky" says tonto   

OK. Go to the back of the class! 

[Roger Kettle]

Now.

[The Peepmaster]

Oh dear.

[robbie62]

ok how about this one ..lone ranger and tonto ride into a western town in the middle of december and its freezing
"c'mon tonto"says lone "i'll buy you a drink"
they walk into the saloon and lone says to the bartender "whisky and 2 glasses barkeep "
bartender says"i'll serve you but i aint givin no injin a drink, he'll have to leave"
"you don't understand " says lone "this is tonto , my blood brother ,he has saved my life countless times, and he helps me save the white man"
"i don't care if he is chief sitting bull himself i aint serving no injin" says bartender
lone turns to tonto"tonto old friend,you go outside and run around the block to keep warm and i'll just have one drink and then i'll be out"
"ok kemo sabe" says tonto and off he jogs

1 hour later the sheriff walks into the bar and shouts" anyone in here called the lone ranger"
"i am "says lone "whats the problem sheriff"

sheriff says "you left your injin running" !!!!

[Mince]

Turn back round and face the wall again.

[Malc]

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper chaps, paper pants, paper vest and paper stetson?

They hung him for rustling.

[Mince]

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper chaps, paper pants, paper vest and paper stetson?

They hung him for rustling.

If you steal cattle while wearing clothes made out of paper, you're obviously going to be heard and easily caught. He deserves to be hanged for not buying stealth clothing.

[The Peepmaster]

Mince missed the fact that Malc mistakenly used the word "hung" instead of "hanged". 

[Mince]

No, I saw it, but unlike some undereducated people, I know that the usage is and has been widespread and only pedants and twats insist on a distinction.

[The Peepmaster]

No, I saw it, but unlike some undereducated people, I know that the usage is and has been widespread and only pedants and twats insist on a distinction.

Yes, I insist you're awarded a Distinction. (A Distinction in being a Twat.)

[robbie62]

the lone ranger meets the cisco kid one day while out riding
"hello lone " says cisco "where's tonto"?
"tonto my very best friend" says lone
"yes" says cisco
"my blood brother whom i would my life" says lone
"yes " says cisco "thats the one"
"i shot him" says lone
"SHOT HIM" exclaims cisco" why did you shoot him"?
"i found out "kemo sabe" mean't big pooftah"

[The Peepmaster]

You're not homophobic or racist by any chance, are you Robbie?

It's just that this one, after the George Michael comment, could be misconstrued.

[Roger Kettle]

I agree with The Peepmaster, Robbie. A couple of your recent posts have been on the wrong side of the boundary. Please bear in mind that this forum is open to all.

[Bilthehut]

I Thought I Was A Cowboy...
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, baling hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs.  So I guess I am a cowboy.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian.  I spend my whole day thinking about women.  As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women.  When I shower, I think about women.  When I watch TV, I think about women.  I even think about women when I eat.  It seems that everything makes me think of women.”
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”