Heckled.

[Roger Kettle]

I was walking along a street in Dundee today (Bank Street, if you're interested) when a car passed me. A voice--it sounded like that of a teenage girl--emerged from the back seat window. "Hey! You've got grey hair!"
I didn't quite know what to make of this and, even if the car hadn't disappeared into the distance, I'm not sure what my comeback could have been. I mean, this is hardly an insult or, if it is, it's not a very good one. It's more of an observation. I couldn't help wondering if the occupants of this car drove round Dundee, helpfully pointing out things to pedestrians they passed. "You've got a brown coat!" "You've got shoes on!"
It's a strange place, Dundee.

[The Peepmaster]

And you cant get to the seafront 'cause there's a dirty great railway line right in front of it.

I wonder what people could shout out of cars at members of this forum.

[Tom]

I've never been shouted at out of a car window. I remember someone flicked a rubber band at me from their car - luckily it missed me and hit my door window. They'd sped off before I could see who it was. People do seem to get possessed to do strange things in cards...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

It all sounds like conceptual performance art to me. You lucky people!

[Malc]

Yep, it must be the same all over. Some idiots do get siezed by the compunction to shout crap from passing cars.

Girls are always shouting at me. Stuff like: "Was I nothing to you, is that it??!!" and sometimes simply "I trusted you, bastard!!" not necessarily from cars. Sometimes it's a relief to get back to the familiarity of that home-cooked abuse from the wife.

[Roger Kettle]

 

[The Peepmaster]

Malc, that reminds me of the attractive blonde, who one year shouted at me from her passing vehicle, "You Tiger! It took me weeks to recover from your rigorous, yet tender, highly passionate love-making skills, transported as I was to the dizzying realms of pure delight, which seemed to last an eternity, and which I'd hoped would never end. Can I pencil you in again for Tuesday?".

Not what you want to hear while out shopping with the wife.

[Malc]

No. And obviously one of those obsessed lovers who won't use three words when she can use thirty.

[The Peepmaster]

On second thoughts, it might simply have been, "You redefine brilliance!"

Either way, it's hard to take.

[Malc]

...and you can take "you redefine brilliance" either way.

[The Peepmaster]

I'm too modest to shout anything back.

[Jack]

The folk who shout from cars around these parts haven't yet made the step up to using actual words. Just that kind of odd consonant-lacking noise that's a bit like a football cheer, but slightly slower and much more stupid-sounding.

I hope I live to see the day they evolve to be able to perform complex tasks such as making genuine observations.

[Zesty White]

As I was treading my once familiar path from Airdrie station to my home, I was shot with a water pistol by a bunch of teenage neds who were driving in the opposite direction. As annoyed as I was initially, I have come to realise that the marksman must have been a physics genius to be able to hit the target.

[Malc]

That's because you didn't see all the targets the idiot missed. It's the Colin Fry principle. He only shows the audience members who respond positively to the "Was your dad a pilot? I'm seeing wings. An eagle...no, something with colours. A parrot? Was he a parrot? Did he own a parrot? Does your name rhyme with 'parrot'? I'm seeing Jasper Carrott....he hated Jasper Carrott? He made him sick to his stomach? That must be it. I'm feeling a lot of hatred for Jasper Carrott. Here in the lower intestine."

[Roger Kettle]

You had me totally confused there, Malc. Then I realised I was thinking about Colin Firth.