Guess who's coaching soccer this year?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Oh, I so wish you'd been my 'soccer coach' (we used to call them 'managers') when I was a kid, Diane! 

[Malc]

Precisely, Diane... 

[Diamond Lil]

Rent a DVD of "The Blind Side"....and I know it's American football and not soccer before any of the picky ones here point it out but it's still smart arses chasing a ball (except one big lad but that's the whole point of the story and you can perhaps follow Sandra Bullock's technique and win an Oscar as well).   

[The Peepmaster]

And you can kick the ball with any part of your body, except your hands. Unless you're the goalie, of course.

[Bilthehut]

And you can kick the ball with any part of your body, except your hands. Unless you're the goalie, of course.

Are you sure?  Don't you 'head' the ball?  And, at what point on the arm can the ball be hit before it becomes a 'handball'?

[Jack]

And, at what point on the arm can the ball be hit before it becomes a 'handball'?

It depends on who you play for, and how "big" your club is compared to the opposition.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs8WWBXGiXg

[The Peepmaster]

And, at what point on the arm can the ball be hit before it becomes a 'handball'?

It depends on who you play for, and how "big" your club is compared to the opposition.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs8WWBXGiXg

My "club" is pretty big, but it's usually quite painful if I kick it with that.

[Diane CBPFC]

Tonight is the big night - first game! The shirts are in - our team has banana yellow. The logo on the shirt is still the same one I designed about 10 years ago.

I've read up on the rules but don't think we will bother much with them.

I wonder if I should take my umbrella?

Maybe some cheese sandwiches.

[Roger Kettle]

Good luck, Diane! A full match report later, please.

[Tom]

Yes, good luck Diane. Is your umbrella banana yellow?

[peter]

think i will wait till we get the in depth aid from mince he should be able to help diane

[Vulture]

Hi, Peter. How are you?

[lucy]

Good luck Diane, show them how it's done!

[Diane CBPFC]

It was chilly out there, it was plus 5C, one poor kid on my team had a nosebleed right when we were about to start playing the other team. He used up all my tissues and then emptied out the gause in the medical kit. One kid popped his knee out. Three of our balls were flat and I wasn't one of the lucky coaches that got a pump. After standing for 2 and a half hours I couldn't walk up the path with my heel bone spur. My son said I was acting like a spectator rather than a coach and should learn the rules. Bloody silly game.

Maybe next week will be better - we did win at least 5-3

[Diamond Lil]

Well done to you and the team! 

ps Demand your own pump before the next game - that seems a very unfair challenge to overcome, making your win even more triumphant.