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Author Topic: Emergency jokes  (Read 4877 times)

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Emergency jokes
« on: May 29, 2012, 02:23:21 AM »
I have left it until the last minute. Our Toastmaster group is meeting tomorrow night for awards "37 minutes of humour" and pizza - the public has been invited!

Each of us needs a joke or two and I have nothing but a box of iris tubers to take in and share about.

Any brilliant jokes would be most appreciated.
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Zesty White

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2012, 07:12:42 AM »
Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the moooovies.

Brilliant I know.....
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Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2012, 05:44:11 PM »
Thanks. Perhaps I will bake some lemon meringue pies to take in to go along with that joke.
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2012, 09:36:24 PM »
Or take a damp squib.
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Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2012, 09:55:52 PM »
A lady cook in a Botany Centre canteen was given the honour of naming a new plant discovery just at the same moment as she was calling a customer across to collect his freshly prepared meal.

"As you have been working hard at this centre of excellence for 25 years, we'd like you to name this plant", said the head botanist.

"Irish Stew, Bert", she called out to her customer.

And so the plant, accidentally, acquired its name.
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Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM »
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0
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Offline Bilthehut

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2012, 02:49:15 PM »
I would if I understood the 'Joke', 'pun', 'play on words', etc.  ... But I didn't.
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Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM »
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2012, 03:29:22 PM »
Quote from: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".
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Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2012, 04:00:06 PM »
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 03:29:22 PM
Quote from: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

Oh, that would have been good to go with the iris tubers I was giving away!
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Bilthehut

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  • Really, real person (but not blue)
Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2012, 05:28:50 PM »
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 03:29:22 PM
Quote from: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

It was the 't' on the end that confused me.  I was thinking 'I arrest you, Bert' as all previous incarnations (oh, I thought of a flower there!) of the 'irish stew' knock knock joke meant that.
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Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2012, 06:13:05 PM »
Quote from: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 04:00:06 PM
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 03:29:22 PM
Quote from: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
Quote from: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

Oh, that would have been good to go with the iris tubers I was giving away!

Yes, I wrote it specially for you, to go with the custard-pie-in-the-face routine you had planned.
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Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Malc

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2012, 02:20:59 AM »
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the fox's mouth.

Do they appreciate rude jokes? I could make you the new Bernard Manning. Seeing as there's a vacancy.
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Offline Mince

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2012, 11:47:32 PM »
Have you heard the joke about the boy who loved tractors?
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Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Emergency jokes
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2012, 05:33:32 PM »
Quote from: Mince on June 08, 2012, 11:47:32 PM
Have you heard the joke about the boy who loved tractors?

Is this a trailer for it?  ???
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Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟
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