Author Topic: I'm going to be a cartoonist  (Read 8892 times)

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2007, 12:29:46 AM »
Of course, she could be called Erica or Eunice, but have her jumper on sideways...
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Mince

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2007, 12:33:08 AM »
Or she could be on a fast merry-go-round.

Malc

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2007, 11:37:40 AM »
That's no "w". Those are her pendulous breasts. Don't tiptoe round them like they are a sensitive nipples.

I mean subject.

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2007, 11:43:42 AM »
Mince attempts to become a cartoonist. I wondered why it was I slept soundly in my bed last night.

( . Y . )
Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Malc

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2007, 12:00:06 PM »
Hey! The way you arranged those brackets, full stops and the letter "y" looks exactly like ladies boobies.

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2007, 08:01:00 PM »
Perverts!
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2007, 08:45:30 PM »
Mince, you are obviously hugely talented as a cartoonist but I doubt if you've looked at the bigger picture. Can you handle the fame and fortune? Can you handle being stalked by super-models? Can you handle the tabloid press raking through your bins? Can you handle being mobbed by fans when you go to your local shop to buy a newspaper? Ask Malc, Nige or Tarks. It's hell, my friend. Hell.

Offline Mince

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #22 on: June 09, 2007, 08:49:48 PM »
Ask Malc, Nige or Tarks.

Why? Do they know famous cartoonists who have been stalked by supermodels?

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #23 on: June 09, 2007, 11:36:15 PM »
Can you handle a kick in the cullions?
I apologise, in advance.

Malc

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2007, 03:27:28 AM »
If you're talking about the mountains on Skye, they're the Cuillins. Due to the rarified astomsphere at that height, it's harder to handle a kick, but I reckon Mince could do it. He's wiry.

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #25 on: June 12, 2007, 12:53:08 PM »
If you're talking about the mountains on Skye, they're the Cuillins.

No, no - my spelling is entirely correct.
I apologise, in advance.

Malc

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #26 on: June 12, 2007, 02:40:52 PM »
I Googled, and found that "cullions" is an obsolete term for testicles. That about sums up my cullions.

This is a true story.

I attended a school reunion about eight years ago in Germany. Because that's where the school was, we weren't showing off or anything.

Anyway, it was a magical weekend and I met loads of ex schoolmates, got ver' ver' drunk and had a great time.
Nothing happened at the reunion, (sadly) it was all very above board, but I returned with a condition called epididymo orchitis -  a massive swelling of one testicle. I remember the instant that it happened. I merely bent forward awkwardly in a chair and there was the small sound of a part-boiled spaghetti stick snapping in my groin. The swelling didn't start until some hours later.
I was thoroughly tested and it was confirmed as non-STD condition, which of course pleased my wife.

Anyway, when I presented my condition to the doctor, I first explained it, feeling that the sight of such a huge swelling in that area might be cause for mirth.

He assured me that he had seen it all and that as a professional he would treat the sight with clinical detachment.

When I dropped my drawers, however, he could barely stifle a guffaw.

That's nothing, says I, the other one's in a truck outside.

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #27 on: June 12, 2007, 02:47:14 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sorry - I mean  :(
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #28 on: June 12, 2007, 05:39:04 PM »
I can barely see the keyboard through watering eyes.

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: I'm going to be a cartoonist
« Reply #29 on: June 13, 2007, 12:16:42 AM »
Sorry about your testicle Malc.  :(  From now on, whenever I hear the sound of spaghetti snapping I will think of you - unless of course I get some professional help.

I have a doctor story?

All our doctors are from South Africa ? the newer ones are hard to understand when they first get here.

I went in complaining that I thought I had broken my ankle; he asked, ?Did you wipe beer on in?? and I explained that I had not heard of that treatment and, anyway, we did not have any beer.

After some careful pronunciation it turns out he was really asking me if my weight would bear on it. 

People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad