Nicknames.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I believe I have encountered, possibly, the funniest workplace nickname yet. There is a boss, known as "The Brazilian".

Why? I hear you ask.

Because he's a "bauldy f**ny".

I laughed anyway.

 

[Diamond Lil]

The extra* in there confused me for a minute! 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

The extra* in there confused me for a minute! 

Cracked it now. 

[Max]

Been in the shipyards over 40 years now and some of the nicknames are brilliant, some too rude for a website sadly.


However, here's a few and why there were called that (if I can remember).

Nala (actually Alan but he was a bit backward)

The Dumpling (just a bit stupid really)

Pling (an apprentice who was only half as smart as The Dumpling).

Nail in his boot (a guy with a bad limp)

The Great Voltaine (used to give magic shows on the ships)

The Grizz (think Grizzly Adams... money lender)

Sonny Baboon (money lender)

Willie Two Planks (as thick as)

Hauf a Brain (self evident)

Big Funky  (surname was Gibbons)

The Screaming Skull (foreman)

 Torpedo Bob, who, while taking a tour of young teens on a tour of the yard and dry docks was asked what the tubes were at the bottom  stern of the ship just before the rudders? Bob, who wasn't actually a shipyard man told them they were aft firing torpedo tubes.
Must have come as a surprise to the men who fitted the propellor shafts.

And my favourite of all was Bungee (Can't mention his name he's still out there)
Bungee was at a high level Project meeting and put forward the idea that instead of the drag chains which slow a ship as she goes into the water off the slips, we should use bungee cords.

The sight of a type 45 frigate going into the water for the first time is a beautiful and exciting thing, how much more exciting if 7,500 tons of steel came flying back up the slips 2 or 3 times. 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Superb, Max, loved the explanation of "Pling". Funnily enough, I worked beside a "Screaming Skull" as an apprentice . Mine never worked in the shipyards, but I'm sure they would have been scarily similar.   

[Malc]

Can't top those, but when I worked in Tesco, Irvine we used to have:

"Dougal" who was named because he couldn't seem to walk forward more than ten feet without turning to find something he'd forgotten, then decided not to bother, turn back, then turn a second time, then reconsider and go on his original route.
He looked for all the world like Dougal, the animated dog in the Magic Roundabout.

Captain Clipboard, or Kev Clipboard, an English guy called Kev who sped around "supervising", without actually doing or achieving anything. His clipboard was his magic amulet. No-one questioned him or asked him to do anything menial whilst he had it (and he always had it). He, and it, were a great lesson in life for me.

Evan Whit?. Possibly the only nickname in the world with a question mark. A Co-op butcher. We couldn't understand a word he said, because his thick Ayrshire accent was delivered with no discernible gap between the syllables. I could JUST work him out, and so was anointed Translator.

Cucumber Carol. Carol worked in the shrink wrap section of the greengrocery. She used to make suggestive gestures to the boys whilst applying the shrink wrap to the most phallic-looking veggies.

Olive. Whose name was also Carol, but she looked the spitting image of Olive Oyl.

God, they're all flooding back...

[Bilthehut]

When the CVR series of military recce vehicles (think Scorpion, Scimitar, Sultan, etc) were introduced, they came with a kinetic energy tow rope for helping to get them unstuck.  This happened regularly on exercise and it was fun to see the tow vehicle accelerate away from the stuck one, the rope get longer and longer until it reached the point when the stuck one became unstuck and 'leapt' out of its hole.  Needless to say the KE rope was a bit different from your average tow rope. 

A numpty of a junior cavalry officer saw this happen once and was quite impressed.  The next time his land rover became stuck he choose to direct the recovery himself to save embarrassment at getting stuck (and the usual price of a slab of lager.    Ignoring the advice of the recovery corporal sent to get him free, and with the comment " This is the modern way to free a vehicle." , he ordered the man to attach the tow rope to the front of his stuck land rover and the rear of the recovery land rover).  He then proceeded to get in the recovery LR and accelerated away as he had seen on exercise recently.  The rover moved off at a smart pace, the rope tightened and started to stretch .... ( I should mention at this point in time that land rovers were issued with standard tow ropes and not KE ones.)  As the recovery rover reached the maximum stretch, there was a loud bang and the rear axle became detached.  The vehicle broke in two and an exceedingly embarrassed cavalry officer had to fork out for quite a few slabs of beer and extra duties for some time.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

And his nickname was...?

[Roger Kettle]

"Twangy".

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

"YoungsModulousofElasticity".

It wasn't the catchiest name in the forces, but it gave the guys in the REME a laugh.