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Author Topic: Wacky news headlines (real)  (Read 8084 times)

Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2014, 01:37:41 PM »
One from today: Rollercoaster Decapitates Young Deer. Leaves Screaming Passengers Showered In Blood
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Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2014, 05:46:56 PM »
I wish I could get the newspapers you all get. They make the news interesting. All I get is stuff like "Townhall to get facelift" or "Local policeman ties lace".

I missing out.

 :'(

Nice pic by the way, Malc. Did your sombrero blow away?
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Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2014, 08:14:18 PM »
Today's Billings Gazette (Montana) informs me that the man accused of abandoning his chicken truck has been found. While I'm obviously delighted that this chap has been apprehended, I'm slightly confused about the story. Is "abandoning a chicken truck" a crime? It seems a rather specific accusation. For example, is "abandoning a piglet truck" just a ticking-off misdemeanour? I should investigate this.
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Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #18 on: September 30, 2014, 12:09:51 AM »
Abandoning your chicken truck isn't a misdemeanor. It's a fowlony.
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Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #19 on: September 30, 2014, 09:24:28 AM »
Put your sombrero back on and stand in the corner, McGookin.
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Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2014, 04:45:48 PM »
Quote from: Roger Kettle on September 30, 2014, 09:24:28 AM
Put your sombrero back on and stand in the corner, McGookin.

Better if he put a capon.
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Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #21 on: October 02, 2014, 12:03:58 AM »
Boom tish.
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Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2014, 12:04:47 AM »
Pig in Australia Steals 18 Beers from Campers, Gets Drunk, Fights Cow.


http://gadling.com/2013/09/10/australian-pig-steals-beer/
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Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2014, 12:14:09 AM »
No way! I don't care that you've posted the link. That has to be made up.   >:(
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Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #24 on: October 02, 2014, 10:36:12 AM »
Yeah. Now if it had said Glasgow...
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I apologise, in advance.

Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #25 on: October 03, 2014, 05:38:53 PM »
Potato grows inside woman's vagina after she used it as contraception

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/403155/Colombian-woman-potato-removed-sprouts-roots-vagina
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Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2014, 06:50:54 PM »
I am so proud of the paper I work for.
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Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #27 on: October 03, 2014, 10:29:02 PM »
The Columbian, she was very receptive,
To a vegetarian contraceptive,
A large Maris Piper,
Fit snugly inside her
Which was really rather impressive.

 :\
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Malc

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #28 on: October 06, 2014, 05:23:05 PM »
Rhyming "impressive" with "contraceptive" is a bit of a stretch.


No, don't go there.
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Sandy Buttcheeks

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Re: Wacky news headlines (real)
« Reply #29 on: October 06, 2014, 08:46:48 PM »
Quote from: Malc on October 06, 2014, 05:23:05 PM
Rhyming "impressive" with "contraceptive" is a bit of a stretch.


No, don't go there.

Aw come on, how many poets do you know who have used "Maris Piper" ? Bit of credit here, surely.

 ;D
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