Return of the Christmas competition.

[Roger Kettle]

I'll give it another week---just to see if anyone can top mine.

[Mince]

Was Horace modelled on Roger?
Somehow it seems to fit,
As Horace is rubbish at everything
And Roger's poem is s*@t.

[Roger Kettle]

Deducts points...

[Mince]

But that's like mean and everything!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Was Horace modelled on Roger?
Somehow it seems to fit,
As Horace is rubbish at everything
And Roger's poem is s*@t.

Copyrighting tosh now, I see.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I apologise for the full stop, posted above. For some reason, I cannot remove any stupidly placed posts.

Mince?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Deducts points...

That's the spirit!

[Mince]

.

I'm still not sure you have the hang of a poem and rhyme in general. Let me help you out.

Horace couldn't hop,
.

There you go. That rhymes.

[Redundant]

Ahem...

In the Kingdom of the blind
Horace still couldn't land a date
Little did the idiot know
The Gods had sealed his fate

As he rode into the sunset
His heart filled with remorse
He pondered all he'd left behind
His hat, his gun, his horse

Nothing lasts forever
Horace rides the dusty trail
At least he cracked it with Kitty
May pity sex always prevail

But...Batman was resurrected
So Horace may not stay gone
But if he does at least we'll know
He died with Kitty's boots on

...I thank you

[Mince]

There goes my prize. 

[Redundant]

There goes my prize. 

In the unlikely [just kidding] event of my winning, I hereby respectfully request that it be presented to my friend Mince for two three four five six reasons:

• He is a fine human being
• He's very good with weather
• He's holding my wife as ransom [I offered my sister-in-law...]
• He essentially keeps this place running, and should get a prize for that every year
• I plagiarised the cartoon Strip "A Man called Horace" in order to write this poem [oh the shame]
• The landlord doesn't allow pictures to be hung in his tents

And probably a dozen other reason's as well.


Edit:  Of course if the prize is cash...I've never heard of Mince 

[Redundant]

In rode a man called Horace
Whose mind was essentially porous
With no wit in his head
He's no clue that's he's dead
And has joined the heavenly chorus

With Kitty he would be content
Though that's not a likely event
I'd shoot him tomorrow
She said without sorrow
If I only had Grandma's consent

[Redundant]

This is Redundant's Mince Mother, you should ban my son from this competition for cheating.   I know for a fact that he borrowed these same two poems from his alter ego in another time dimension who had entered them [and lost] in an alternate Beau Peep website, very similar to this one but funnier.   His Father says it's all part of the bed wetting problem but we have to pee somewhere.  I'd apologise for my son's behaviour but I'm a little unsure as to his existence, there is a very good chance he is a figment of my imagination, in which case these poems don't exist and there is no need to ban him, he's not real.  Simple really.  I could do with some money though...

[Mince]

That whole post leaves you wondering whether you actually read anything that makes any sense at all. I've read it three times and I get this image of someone in a strait-jacket mumbling self-contradictory nonsense.

Anyway, on the bright side, I'm real and still waiting to patiently to win.