Return of the Christmas competition.

[Redundant]

Minus, of course, £49,999.00 for postage.

No problem, I'll collect it, fancy a trip up North, Mince?

[Roger Kettle]

Let me just go over the points awarded again....I might just have won, after all...

[Mince]

You said no recounts.

Yep, Redundant. I'm in for that. We don't want Roger to bother with pesky postage, not when we can just arrive at his door and collect the cash.

[Redundant]

Let me just go over the points awarded again....I might just have won, after all...

Hang on, let's keep it real, even my stuff was better than that, and Mince's poem stuffed my efforts, I'm having serious doubts about your judgement levels, which may have a direct correlation to the level in the whiskey bottle.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

What? I didn't even get a mention? 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

What was causing his tension
Was the shear lack of mention
Oh such apprehension
From Tarks dissension

Am I too late???

[Redundant]

What was causing his tension
Was the shear lack of mention
Oh such apprehension
From Tarks dissension

Am I too late???

Sandy's ode demands attention
His star is clearly in ascension
Time is held in brief suspension
The laureates work defies convention

Clearly I am crap when I win stuff, but it was great fun and my favourite poem was Minces:

Horace, now but a silhouette of distant laughs,
Waves an arid goodbye, a flicker whole prairies away
Shot down by the heavy haze of the Great Plains.
He rides away, the wind's wail his only sobriquet.

Now that's what I call poetry.

[Diane CBPFC]

Well done Redundant. 

May I suggest that you re-post your winning poem here near the end of the thread to save me people having to read a bunch of twaddle to find it.

[Redundant]

Well done Redundant. 

May I suggest that you re-post your winning poem here near the end of the thread to save me people having to read a bunch of twaddle to find it.

Thanks Diane, not sure which poem did the trick, it may have been an accumulative effect [as in wore Roger down gradually until he couldn't take any more]:

In the Kingdom of the blind
Horace still couldn't land a date
Little did the idiot know
The Gods had sealed his fate

As he rode into the sunset
His heart filled with remorse
He pondered all he'd left behind
His hat, his gun, his horse

Nothing lasts forever
Horace rides the dusty trail
At least he cracked it with Kitty
May pity sex always prevail

But...Batman was resurrected
So Horace may not stay gone
But if he does at least we'll know
He died with Kitty's boots on

*************************************

In rode a man called Horace
Whose mind was essentially porous
With no wit in his head
He's no clue that's he's dead
And has joined the heavenly chorus

With Kitty he would be content
Though that's not a likely event
I'd shoot him tomorrow
She said without sorrow
If I only had Grandma's consent

*************************************

Alas for poor Horace his soul it was pure
Now he's pushing up daisies, comedic manure
He travelled the badlands and knew only fear
And slid under the table at the sniff of a beer
His love life was torpid, moribund at least
His chances of sex more famine than feast
Valhalla called the true heroes home
Horace is gone, no more shall he roam

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Bravo!

[Mince]

I also think Redundant's poems were the outright winners, so a Bravo! from me as well.

As for my poetry, the 'whole prairies away' is stolen from Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas: You can hear the love-sick woodpigeons mooning in bed. A dog barks in his sleep, farmyards away. The town ripples like a lake in the waking haze.

The rest is mostly, as Diane says, 'twaddle', just clever word arrangement disguised as poetry.

In fact, I remember doing something like this in college, so onto another topic.

[Diane CBPFC]

I would guess that it was the first one that won you the prize 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I too, would like to congratulate Red on winning. Sadly, my bitter and twisted nature makes this impossible.

 

[Redundant]

I too, would like to congratulate Red on winning. Sadly, my bitter and twisted nature makes this impossible.

 

Well it was an emotional rollercoaster for me too Sandy, here's a hug right back at you, a manly one of course, nothing too girlie and strictly time limited.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I too, would like to congratulate Red on winning. Sadly, my bitter and twisted nature makes this impossible.

 

Well it was an emotional rollercoaster for me too Sandy, here's a hug right back at you, a manly one of course, nothing too girlie and strictly time limited.

Thanks, Red. You might have took the keys out of your pocket first, though.