Football

[Mince]

I have been so busy that I forgot to comment on Dundee United's win over St Johnstone, and with only ten men at the end. I have to admit I've been following it all a bit just to see if Dundee avoid getting regulated, or regurgitated, or whatever it is.

[Mince]

Who's Patrick Thistle?

[Redundant]

Who's Patrick Thistle?

I think he's the chap that invented the "cowlick" circa 1590, he went on to grow the first thistle which obviously now bears his name, and which went on to become the floral emblem of Scotland and the emblem of Encyclopaedia Britannica...but I could be wrong.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I'd just like to state that I am a St Johnstone supporter of many years standing...sitting...and falling asleep. And I began my life within a haggis hurl of Partick Thistle's home ground.

This has not been the best start to a thread for me.

[Mince]

Ah, but do you have their t-shirt? You're not a supporter otherwise.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Well, I don't have the current 't-shirt', but I have owned many over the years, including one worn by one of the players (Mark Treanor), which I bought in a charity auction after they won the First Division title in 1990 (still got it).

I don't get to many matches these days, sadly, as I'm not as close to their games as I used to be, but I have been known to drive 600-mile round trips to see them play, including their only Scottish Cup Final win two years ago against...well, let's not go into that.

In my youth, I was one of their ball-boys for a couple of seasons, which included their first foray into European competition, during which they beat the mighty S.V. Hamburg and Vasas Budapest, before eventually succumbing to Zeljeznicar Sarajevo (yeah, them).

Before being exiled in the Land Of Engs, I owned 4 season tickets for me and my kids, and drew a regular cartoon strip for their match-day programme.

I went to my first game when I was seven. It was against Hibs. I couldn't afford to pay, so I went just after half-time, when they opened the gates to let people out, and as I climbed up onto the terraces to look down on the hallowed turf, I vividly remember being taken aback and overwhelmed that it was in colour (all professional football up to that point was screened in black and white on our telly and in newspapers. It was the start of a lifelong love affair with the (occasionally) Beautiful Game.

Does that lot count? If not, I also designed their first (and current) mascot...

[Mince]

Oh my, all that over a few people kicking a football, and not the same people either as when you first began. And doing that mascot! It's as though you're obsessed or something. You wouldn't find me doing something like that. 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I hold my hand up to the 'obsession', as would most footie fans if their honest, benign obsession that it is for the majority. It's less so these days, and for a few years I lost it altogether when serious life got in the way, and football did indeed seem far too much fuss about relatively little.

These days, I could only tell you less than a handful of the players' names in 'my team', but I could rattle off every name in that side that beat S.V. Hamburg without pausing for breath, or having to Google them. Yes, when you boil it all down, the players come and go, and it's a strange sort of loyalty, especially when you have the likes of Celtic and Rangers fans, growing up and living in the same city, hating each other's guts during the league campaign, but standing shoulder to shoulder in imperfect harmonies (Oh, Flurr O' Scaw'land - when wull we seeeeeeeeeeee....)when Scotland takes to the field.

But it's fitba', innit?!! Best use of a spherical object known to mankind! And the meat PIES....aw, man...................

[Mince]

We all have our obsessions. Breathing is still one of mine. But I can understand the sense of 'family' involved, even if it's a bit of a loose use of the term. I guess I could join the vegan society.

I used to be obsessed with tennis, but I quite frankly don't care one way or another now: I only watch the finals and most of the time end up missing them.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

For a minuscule moment, I thought you meant playing tennis. Silly me! That was one of my own former obsessions, playing, not watching, although I do enjoy Wimbledon.

I'd be less inclined to describe football fanaticism as 'family', more so tribalism. The good thing about supporting a team like St Johnstone is you can never take it too seriously, or you'd be in a fairly permanent state of depression.

I was actually quite relaxed about Dundee United beating my team at the weekend. My team's season has little to play for over the next few weeks, whereas Roger's is battling for its Premier League survival, and still has a chance of escaping the drop after it looked pretty hopeless not so long ago. There's a fairly intense rivalry between Perth (home of St Johnstone) and Dundee, but I'd genuinely be sad to see Dundee United go down. Not sure why that is, as I've positively revelled in the similar past demise of their Dens Road neighbours, Dundee F.C. (yes, Mincey - it's a different club, as you well know!), but I've always enjoyed my trips to Tannadice, and even occasionally supported Roger's lot there in days gone by when they played in European competitions. Dundee F.C. were always the real villains to Saints fans in the tribal game.

I'm quite enjoying our football chats, Mincey.

[Mince]

There's this great book called How Not To Support A Losing Football Team ...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Trying to spoil all my fun again?!!  

[Mince]

Trying to spoil all my fun again?!!  

I'm like a psychological Mad Pierre.

Mind you, the book does not even talk about St Johnstone. Apparently, they're not good enough to be in the book.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I thought your book was about losing football teams? It's good not to be included.

But we digress. I'd be interested in your views on Leicester City's season so far.

[Mince]

Funnily enough, my dad supports Leicester City. You ought to ask him.