Last one to bed

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

 :  (Like I said - lightweight!)

[Mince]

k;hvjggcvhlnklkL:KN.jgv ;Dj.hvkhbkbolnojpin    b  bn bn bn mb mb ,bn ,bn ,nb n,b bn  ;Dbm b bvh.vvvvbmvbmvbv

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

You weren't kidding about that industrial strength coffee, were you? 

[Mince]

Wow! I'll send you some. You should try it. (Mind you, it's best not to add as much carpet cleaner as I did.)

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I take my carpet cleaner neat, I do.

[Mince]

That's really woken me up.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

"It's all dirt and dust,
But don't you get fussed,
The answer is easily found,
Remember:
One Thousand and One
Cleans a big, big carpet
For less than half a crown!"

[Mince]

I'd stop drinking it neat, if I were you.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Do the Shake 'n' Vac
And put the freshness back,
Do the Shake 'n' Vac
And put the freshness back.
When your carpet smells fresh
Your room does too
Every time you vacuum
Remember what to do!
Do the Shake 'n' Vac
And put the freshness back.... (to fade)

[Mince]

Seriously, mate. Lay off the carpet cleaner.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

He said "You're mine for ever",
but she got the dirty pans until Brillo freed her for love.
She thought marriage was a bed of roses ?
until she saw the mess in the kitchen.
There were pans ? dirty pans.
Yesterday she was a prisoner of dirty pans.
Brillo set her free.
He swept her into his arms, then dropped her into the sink.
It was a lifetime of dirty pans ? then Brillo arrived.
He promised her his worldly goods,
but all she got was pans ? dirty pans
Then one day Brillo broke into her prison...

[Mince]

Pull yourself together. You're an embarrassment. This is the last time I am going on a topic crawl with you.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Duraglit, Duraglit,
You should see the shine on it!
Buy Some, try some
Wonderful Duragli

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

t

[Mince]

Now he's slurring his speech. You really shouldn't mix your cleaning products.