Author Topic: Joke  (Read 13643 times)

peter

  • Guest
Joke
« on: September 21, 2007, 04:10:09 PM »

A wife asked her husband one morning what he would do if she died suddenly.
The husband thought for a while and then replied "I would probably die too."
Completely surprised the wife asked "Why."
He replied. "That what with his weak heart he would not be able to live with so much happiness out of the blue."

Offline The Peepmaster

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  • Posts: 5834
Re: Joke
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2007, 04:49:11 PM »

A wife asked her husband one morning what he would do if she died suddenly.
The husband thought for a while and then replied "I would probably die too."
Completely surprised the wife asked "Why."
He replied. "That what with his weak heart he would not be able to live with so much happiness out of the blue."

It's the punch line that does it!
Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

peter

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2007, 05:06:12 PM »
A bus load of politicians had a accident and landed in a farmers field.
The farmer went over to see what had happened and commenced to dig a hole to bury them.
A few days later a policeman came and saw the bus and asked what had happened to the politicians.
The farmer said he had buried them.
The policeman asked." They were all dead."
The farmer said "Well some said they weren't but you know how they lie."

Vulture

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2007, 05:12:17 PM »
A bus load of politicians had a accident and landed in a farmers field.
The farmer went over to see what had happened and commenced to dig a hole to bury them.
A few days later a policeman came and saw the bus and asked what had happened to the politicians.
The farmer said he had buried them.
The policeman asked." They were all dead."
The farmer said "Well some said they weren't but you know how they lie."


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

peter

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2007, 08:28:10 PM »
John was in a bar one night

He meet a 65 year old woman they drank and got to talking.
 
The women asked him if he ever had Sportsman double, a mother and daughter.

He said "No."

They drank some more then she said this was his lucky night.

They went back to her place and she put on the hall light.


Then she called upstairs Mam are you awake.

Vulture

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2007, 10:03:52 PM »
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible
out of the dealership and past the Tim Horton's. Taking off
down the Trans Canada, he floored it to 120 km, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the 401, pushing the
pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view
mirror, he saw the RCMP behind him, red and blue lights
flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no
problem!" thought the elderly nut case as he floored it to
130 km, then 140, then 150 km. Suddenly, he thought, "What
on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!". He
pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the
Mountie to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the officer walked up to the driver's
side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my
shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give
me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard
before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Mountie, said, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with an RCMP officer. I thought you
were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir.," said the Mountie.

peter

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2007, 10:19:27 PM »
Love it vulture

Colin

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2007, 11:12:30 PM »
Jose Mourinho has issued an appeal to be left alone saying "I just want to go back to Portugal and not be seen again".



The McCann' s have offered to help............

peter

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2007, 11:20:02 PM »
Made me smile Colin.

Colin

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2007, 11:28:09 PM »
A bad taste joke from another forum.

NEWSFLASH! Foot and mouth found on Scottish farm.







Feck knows where the rest of Colin McRae is............

Beau Peep

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2007, 06:59:51 AM »

A wife asked her husband one morning what he would do if she died suddenly.
The husband thought for a while and then replied "I would probably die too."
Completely surprised the wife asked "Why."
He replied. "That what with his weak heart he would not be able to live with so much happiness out of the blue."

It's the punch line that does it!

ROFLMAO, you b1tch!!

Beau Peep

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2007, 07:05:49 AM »
Two nuns are in a bath.
One says "Where's the soap?"
and the other says
"Yes, it does"

Beau Peep

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2007, 07:16:43 AM »
Q. What's the difference between a waitress and a Japanese Legionnaire?
A. A waitress understands the orders she is given!

Vulture

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2007, 08:04:52 AM »
Overheard in a garden centre:

"Hello mate. Do you sell trees?"

"Yes, indeed we do sir. What sort of tree did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I dunno. Something that will fit in the car."

peter

  • Guest
Re: Joke
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2007, 02:19:14 PM »
A son ask his mother why are girls wedding dresses are white.
His mother replies that this shows her relatives and friends that the she is pure.
The son thanks his mother and then goes to his father for a second option.
The son asked his father why girls get wed in white.
His father thinks and replies " All kitchen appliances come in white."
« Last Edit: September 25, 2007, 02:47:22 PM by peter »