Here are excerpts from a review of a recent football match. They have me baffled.
The 3rd Round replay was slow to get going and it was the Championship side who had the first chance when Ian Hume sent an 18-yarder just wide to the right.An 18-yard what? I assume it's a person (probably very big) who was sent somewhere to do something.
Ex-Rangers man Stephen Hughes took possession on the right channel and sent in a nice cross for the left foot of Fryatt to beat Tony Warner from 12 yards after the young striker had evaded the attentions of Carlos Bocanegra."took possession"? Is this demonic possession? And which channel is "the right channel"? Does he mean BBC1?
"sent a nice cross"? Is this to exorcise the demon?
"evaded the attentions"? Were these unwanted attentions? What's going on here?
Warner then saved another Fryatt effort as Rob Kelly's often hungrier looking side pressed, but the Premiership team managed to restore parity on 35 minutes."often hungrier"? Feed them!
"to restore parity on 35 minutes"
?!
Tomasz Radzinski played a neat pass into the Leicester penalty area and Brian McBride managed to find the space to bring down the ball and rocket in the equaliser."rocket in the equaliser"? Is this something to do with Edward Woodward?
Gareth McAuley outmuscled Franck Quedrue to direct a close-range header to the net at the far post.We're onto wrestling now?
Great interplay between the lively Fryatt and Hume led to the former teeing up James Weslowski, who sent a lovely shot past Warner from just outside the area."great interplay"? Is that what it's called now?
Routledge beat three players before slotting home the winner.Err...
So, when does the football get used?